Monday, June 26, 2017

What If


At the start of the last season my expectations were pretty low. This was an Oilers team coming off yet ANOTHER bottom five finish, and they showed us that without the best player in the world tilting the ice for them, without Cam Talbot having a full Vezina caliber season, and with a hodgepodge of AHL quality defensemen playing too far above their skill level, this was still a very flawed team. "I don't think they'll make the playoffs, but if they're still fighting for a wild card spot come March, this season will be a huge step forward" I said. And then the Oilers went ahead and blew all my (and realistically almost everyone's) expectations out of the water.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

5 THINGS THAT WILL ABSOLUTELY HAPPEN DURING THE OILERS 16-17 SEASON: HOW'D I DO?


Over at our inbred cousin site The Canafornians I made five preseason predictions before the 2016-17 season, because that's what you do when you're an unoriginal hack with barely passable writing skills. How'd I do? LET'S FIND OUT!

Thursday, May 4, 2017

In Defense Of Jordan Eberle



HE'S FINE AND YOU ALL NEED TO SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT GETTING RID OF HIM THIS SUMMER!

Uh, okay let me elaborate.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Oilers At The Trade Deadline


Another year, another week of people getting themselves riled up only to face bitter disappointment. Welcome to NHL Trade Deadline day! Seriously though, I don't understand why people still get their hopes up. The trade deadline hasn't been exciting in, like, AT LEAST five years, if not more. 90% of the trades are completed in the days leading up to the deadline, and yet everyone still crowds around their computers, frantically refreshing Twitter, just waiting for that 10 player trade that rocks the entire foundation of the league. And then Eric Fehr gets traded for an 11th round pick and TSN spends 45 minutes talking about it because it's the only transaction of any note.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Anxiety

I've suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember. I'm the type of person who can't sleep if I think about the fact that I really need to sleep. I suffer from stage fright in public bathrooms if there's too many people around and I'm not really drunk. I have a fear of failure that makes it almost impossible to talk to women sometimes. And on and on.

When I was really young it manifested itself in a comically intense shyness. Like the time when I was 5 or 6 and we went to Sears to get family portraits taken. When it came time for me to take some solo shots I could NOT stop crying. My parents were standing 10 feet away, but having to sit there and interact with a stranger even that minuscule amount was too much for me to handle, so the best picture we got that day was me half smiling with red, puffy eyes due to all the crying.