Movies You Should Watch That You've Never Heard Of: Vol.1

I fucking love movies. There's no two ways around it. I used to get in trouble when I was 6 years old because all I would ever watch was Super Channel, and my parents 1) didn't really think I should be watching some of the movies that would come on there, naturally and 2) well actually it's probably 90% number 1, but I'm sure they also thought it was kind of weird that a 6 year old boy wanted to watch Flatliners when I should have been watching Pee Wee's Playhouse. But for whatever reason I was always obsessed with movies.

I still remember when I found out my friend Matt's* parents had a video camera and we started making movies with lego men and G.I Joes. All I ever wanted to do when I went to his place was make more movies (and play video games because he had pretty much any game you could think of).

I was spellbinded by those "Behind The Scenes" and movie magic shows that gave you a glimpse into how they did all those wild things you saw on the screen. Needless to say when DVD's came out with all kinds of special features I was like a pig in shit.

My family took a trip to California when I was 9 or so and still to this day I can vividly remember meeting up with my cousin at the production house he was working at, and watching him and his co-workers edit a Raid commercial, and being blown away by how cool it was. Disneyland? Meh. An off-line editing rig? FUCK YEAH!

Hell, I even went to film school for fuck sakes and shot a movie on actual film (now I just need to figure out how con someone into paying me to do it again and again). I repeat, I fucking love movies.

So it shouldn't be a shock to any of you that I subscribe to a podcast called "I Love Movies". It's hosted by comedian Doug Benson, who has his own movie out called Super High Me. If you're too dumb to figure out the plot just by the title then
you should probably spend a little more time reading books and a little less time coming here to look at boobs (please don't stop coming here to look at boobs). Okay, fine; basically Doug is an avid stoner, and after watching Super Size Me and scarfing down some Mc D's he figures it would be a great idea to see what happens to a person if they smoked pot all day for 30 days. Needless to say it's hilarious and you should check it out. (I guess technically that would be the first movie on this list, no?)

Anyway back to the topic at hand. On Doug's podcast he plays this game called the Leonard Maltin game. He plays the Leonard Maltin game so much, and talks about Leonard Maltin himself so much that through a series of magical events Len Maltin actually went on the podcast a few weeks back. And he brought with him a copy of his brand new book "Leonard Maltin's 151 Best Movies You've Never Seen".

And as I was watching another amazing independent film tonight that I'm sure only a handful of people have seen, I thought to myself "hey jeanshorts, you watch a ton of movies. And you've also seen a ton of movies that were amazing, but that the public at large has probably never even heard of before. Maybe you should let them in on your little secret you greedy fuck." After I reminded myself that as an only child I was raised without the knowledge of what "sharing" was I retorted "you know, every once and a while you have an actual good idea. And this is one of them. Congratulations. Now, this is way more thinking than you're used to. Time for a nap."

So with Len Maltin as my inspiration, and without any more of my mindless ramblings, here's a list of 12 movies that you've probably never heard of but should check out immediately. And if you have seen any of these already then you're way cooler than I thought. And also you should tell me what you thought.

Sugar: Easily the best baseball movie I've ever seen. About a Dominican kid getting a shot to play pro baseball in America. But it's about a lot more than just baseball. Yes there's a lot of baseball in it, but the story is more about a poor immigrant trying to make it in America. No late game heroics to win the championship in this one. It's much more Friday Night Lights than The Rookie. Fucking amazing film and it's such a shame that this didn't get to reach a wider audience.


Dear Zachary: I don't consider myself much of a crier, but fuck me was I balling like a school girl at a Backstreet Boys concert by the time the credits rolled on this one. Even more ridiculous was the hour I spent after watching the movie trying to settle myself down. Just a heart breaker of a movie. It's a documentary the filmmaker made after his best friend was murdered, and the original intention was to use it as a way for his best friends orphaned son to get to know how wicked of a guy his dad was. Please, please, please don't Wikipedia this movie because there is a huge surprise plot point that will be ruined if you do. I made that mistake before watching the movie and even despite that I still broke down into a weepy mess. If you want to show your wife that you're not an asshole who's incapable of feelings, then this movie should do the trick.


Love The Beast: I never really thought much of Eric Bana one way or another, but after watching this I think he's pretty fucking badass. Another documentary, this one tells the story of Bana and the undying love his has for his first car, a 1974 Ford XB Falcon Hardtop. It talks about how he and his group of friends became so tight by spending all their spare time working on and racing the car, but more importantly it tries to help non-car nuts understand exactly why there are guys out there still driving around in the same car they had when they were 16, and why an asshole like Jay Leno has a warehouse full of cars. If you enjoy cars you'll love this movie, and even if you don't like cars you'll still enjoy it.


Shotgun Stories: A solid little film about two groups of Arkansas brothers that share the same dad, and the hatred they have for each other due to the vastly different lives they had growing up. Anyone living in a small town knows all to well how people can start beefing for no real reason, and how ridiculously things can escalate. It's a little slow and it definitely isn't for everyone but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Produced by Arkansas native and Pineapple Express director David Gordon Green, who also produced and directed Eastbound And Down, so you know this motherfucker knows a thing or two about growing up in the south.


Let The Right One In: This one some of you have probably heard of. It set the festival circuit on fire and after watching it I knew exactly why. This is a vampire story like nothing you have ever seen before. It's kind of hard to explain but it's basically a love story between a young boy and a young girl, and the young girl just happens to be a fucking vampire. It's from Sweden, and as with any other successful foreign movie they are remaking it for American audiences who refuse to read subtitles. It's being re-made by the same guy that directed Cloverfield so hopefully it won't be an utter piece of shit, but please, if you have any sense at all you'll watch this version first, if not instead of the remake.


Wet Hot American Summer: One of the most underrated comedies of all time. Made by the same people responsible for The State, a hilarious yet tragically unknown sketch comedy show, it's an almost spoof of summer camp movies, and just summer camp in general. I say almost spoof because it's not directly lampooning any movie in particular but it takes all the ridiculous summer camp cliches and warps them like only Michael Showalter and David Wain can. It features a pretty amazing cast including Janeane Garofalo, David Hyde Pierce, Michael Ian Black, Bradley Cooper, Amy Pohler, Paul Rudd, Molly Shannon, Christopher Meloni, Elizabeth Banks and a ton of other people who you'll no doubt recognize from any Judd Apatow and Co movie that's come out in the last 5 years. One of my favorite comedies ever.


More Than A Game: This is another one that some of you may have heard of, but as far as I can tell it's been pretty under the radar for the most part. That is, you know, unless you're a fan of this Lebron James kid. A documentary about Lebron and his group of friends, "The Fab Five"(super original), and their story about growing up together and absolutely dominating the world of high school basketball. I wasn't sure about this one going in considering I could care less about basketball and as much as I think Lebron is a badass, I think the Lebron hype machine is a little over the top. But it's actually a pretty kick ass movie that's not purely about Lebron which was a nice surprise. I remember hearing a few things here and there during high school from my friends who like basketball about this kid in Ohio who was going to be the next Jordan, and how his high school basketball team was out of this world. I didn't pay a whole lot of attention back then but this movie really put into perspective just how ridiculous this team actually was. It doesn't hold a candle to Hoop Dreams but it was really entertaining.


American Movie: If I could describe this movie in three words it would be "Real Life Fubar". Hilarious and kind of sad at the same time this documentary follows a dude named Mark Borchardt, an amateur filmmaker struggling to make his latest horror outing "Coven" (which he pronounces Coe-ven). Mark and his friend Mike Schank are so fucking funny that a lot of the time during the movie you'll be asking yourself "did they seriously just say that" or "there is no way this shit can be real". But real it is my friends, and that in itself is kind of frightening. If anything this movie pumps me up to go out there and make my own films. I mean if this fucking guy can do it why am I sitting here writing this mediocre blog? Remember how I called this movie a "real life Fubar"? Well it just so happens that Mark and Mike were the actual inspiration for Terry and Deaner. So at the very least this movie should give you an even greater appreciation for Fubar.


Bigger, Stronger, Faster: Fuck I watch a lot of documentaries. This one deals with the topic of steroids and tries to sift through all the conflicting information about how harmful or helpful steroids actually are. After I watched this movie I had a huge write up about steroids that I was going to post on here about a year ago, but I couldn't quite form all my thoughts an opinions into something that made sense. The movie talks about steroids themselves, sport culture and the all American ideal that everyone in the US needs to be bigger, stronger and faster than everyone else. Wicked movie, especially in the wake of all that ridiculous baseball bullshit.


Manda Bala-Send A Bullet: Isn't it fucking weird that we sit here and think to ourselves that never in a million years would we ever empathize with a certain type of person, say a kidnapper? And then all of a sudden you see something and it starts to make sense as to why they do the fucked up things they do? Let me introduce you to Manda Bala- Send A Bullet. This doc deals with the insane amount of kidnappings that happen in Brazil everyday, which are caused by the ridiculous gap between the haves and have nots in the country as well as the corruption of the police and government. They interview a career kidnapper throughout and at first I was all like "fuck this guy. I don't care how poor he is he shouldn't be kidnapping and extorting people. What an asshole" blah blah blah. Then by the end I was more like "well, fuck. I guess he really has no choice. Either he kidnaps people and makes some money or he and his family starve to death". And its that type of shit that fucks with my mind, but also makes me so grateful we don't live in an economic shit hole. Not amazing but definitely worth a look.


Them (Ils): One of the, if not the scariest movie I have ever seen in my entire life. I've made it no secret that I love horror movies of all shapes and sizes, and this may well be the cream of the crop. A French/Romanian effort that tells the story of a young couple living in a remote farm house somewhere in Romania. One night they're woken up by a strange noise and it's just all fucking downhill from there. The Europeans have owned the horror market for the at least the last 10 years and probably longer. As much as I enjoy watching Jason chase down a naked teen in the woods and chop her in half with a machete, this is a whole different ball game. Rather than using music to let you know something terrible is about to happen like 90% of North American horror movies, this one uses pretty much nothing but ambient noise. So when shit goes down you're skeleton is trying to jump out of your skin. Don't watch this one home alone if you live in a giant house or on a farm or something. Watch this one immediately.


Moon: Written and directed by David Bowie's kid, so you know it has to be kick ass. It stars Sam Rockwell, playing two different characters, working away on a moon base where they harvest energy or something? I don't really remember but I really fucking liked this movie. It harkens back to the old school days of sci-fi, with clear influences from Alien, 2001 A Space Odyssey, Outland, etc. And instead of using 100% CGI, most of the exterior moon shots were created using miniatures and models, which is so fucking awesome it's not even funny. That's a great homage to those trail blazing Sci-Fi movies from back in the day, and there's no way CGI will ever replace the look and feel of something that is physically on screen. It's cheaper and easier to do everything on computers now, but I for one will always respect and admire physical props and effects. Did I mention Kevin Spacey is in it playing a talking computer/robot? Yeah, like I said this movie is pretty awesome.


There are a lot more I could have added here but I figured why blow my wad all in one shot? I do that enough in real life, why carry bad habits over onto the internet, the last sacred place on the planet. I'm going to try and start making this a reoccurring feature, so if you've stumbled on here looking for Brazilian Fart Porn and you ended up finding a movie on this list that you really enjoy, keep checking back for more. So friends, go forth and enjoy these movies. Make sure to come back and tell me what you thought.

-jeanshorts

*That same Matt is now moving to Vancouver in the summer to go to the same film school I did. He even used me as a reference on his application. Can you say full circle?