Bonsignore Citizens Brigade: Wings At Oilers

Another day, another pointless Oilers game. Oh, wait, what's that at the top of this post? The most amazing video you've ever seen? Yeah, you're god damn right it is. We're are definitely not above shameless self promotion, and this is no exception. Send that shit to all your friends so people will start giving us money so we can finally fulfill our life long dream: working 2 hours a day or less, and spending the rest of the time being awesome.

Tonight's game is kind of a quandary (not at all, I'm just really running out of things to talk about other then how horrible the Oilers are). The Wings are sitting in 8th spot in the West right now, one point ahead of those godless Calgary Flames. So obviously a win by Detroit tonight will help our cause in watching Calgary miss the playoffs. But poor Devon Dubnyk must have pissed Pat Quinn off cause he's getting the call tonight, and the boy just wants to win an NHL game god dammit! Is that so much to ask? Well, if you play for the Oilers, then yes, it's way too much to ask.

Detroit struggled with a ton of injuries this season, same as our squad, with the big difference being Detroit has something called "depth" on both their NHL and AHL clubs, where as the Oilers maybe have 5 good players in the entire system. The Wings are starting to get healthy again, and some key contributors are back, which is bad news for some of the higher seeded Western conference teams going into the playoffs. The Wings barely sneaking into the playoffs while they start to turn a corner is fucking scary to think of. If I was the Hawks, Sharks or (puke) the Canucks I'd be worried about a first or second round match up against the boys from the Motor City.

The Wings actually have something to play for tonight, which can mean one of two things; Either the Oilers will inexplicably play well tonight and defy the laws of common sense by pulling out a win tonight, or the Wings are going to deliver a beatdown, the likes we haven't seen since the Blackhawks raped us in our own building last year (we want 10!).

And can someone please explain to me why Sam Gagner is playing, despite having a bummed knee, while a perfectly healthy Mike Comrie sits in the press box, texting Hilary Duff to get her opinion on where he should sign next year that's not Edmonton? Seriously, the dude buries the hatchet on one of the uglier incidents in Oilers history, at least in the last 10 years anyway, regains the admiration and respect of the finicky Oilers faithful, and rather than having him out there every game to play his way to a shiny new contract with the copper and blue next season, and to show our gratitude for him coming to Edmonton in the first place, he gets to eat popcorn and watch the same shitty hockey that we get to watch. The Oilers already have a bitch of a time trying to sign free agents as it is, might as well jack around the guys who actually want to be here, right? Yeah, that definitely make sense. And I mean it's not like Gagner is one of the only bright spots on this, the worst of seasons. Who cares if he blows his knee out in a meaningless game in March, and is forced to miss part of next season because of a lengthy rehab process. We have plenty of guys who can easily take over his spot. We've got Chris Fucking Minard on our squad! This team makes no fucking sense to me and I'm starting to get legitimately pissed off as they keep out-retarding themselves.

Look, see what you made me do Oilers? Now I'm all angry and riled up, and I don't feel like wasting 2 hours of my life watching your horrible fucking hockey team lose another game. Free Sam Gagner!

jeanshorts prediction: Wings 7 - Oilers 1. Sorry Devon. Maybe next year.

TylerSeguin

IQWT (or do we?)

-jeanshorts