Sunday, March 21, 2010

Bonsignore Citizens Brigade: Sharks At Oilers



How I still haven't seen this movie is beyond me.


That plane represents the Edmonton Oilers, and that giant shark represents reality crushing all of our hopes and dreams. What? You think I'd use that obvious of an example to represent the beating our squad is going to suffer tonight at the hands of one of the best teams in the league? Psssshhhhhh. Whatever.

So let me get this straight; The Sharks are 0-4 so far on their 6 game road trip, and they just HAPPEN to roll into Slumpbustmonton tonight? Karma works in mysterious ways my friends. I don't really think much of the Sharks one way or the other but something inside me takes great joy in watching a team that has been in contention for the presidents trophy for the last, what 5 years running now, completely shit themselves when the playoffs roll around. It's one of those unexplained phenomenons that scientists will still be trying to figure out decades from now. But much like the mythical clitoris, this is one mystery I don't think mankind will ever be able to uncover.

The Oilers have been playing surprisingly not-as-shitty lately, with Gilbert Brule and Dustin Penner helping to lead the charge. Reuinted and it feels so gooooooddddd! Andrew Cogliano has been playing well lately too, and while it's nice to see since I'm such a fan of the kid, does anyone else feel like this could turn out bad for everybody? All I can picture is Tambo giving him the typical "Oiler Raise" based on a handful of solid games at the end of the season, and we'll have another inflated contract to add to the long list of things for us to complain about. Where his development is going to plateau is still a mystery, so in my mind I think a 2 year deal worth about 3-3.5 million would be more than fair. What do you guys think? Too much? Too little?

Anybody who didn't feel the slightest bit of pride and happiness after Devon Dubnyk finally got that elusive first career win must be the worst person on the entire planet. Even crusty old-man Dakin felt good for the kid. How bad is your season when a goalie getting one win in 12 games is something to be legitimately excited about?

At least this game isn't on PPV.

jeanshorts prediction: Sharks 3 - Oilers 1

TylerSeguin

IQWT

-jeanshorts

16 Say Your Piece:

  1. Who the fuck gave Brent Butt another show.
    ReplyDelete
  2. @BM

    The same people who let shit like According to Jim and Becker go on for like 12 seasons...aka: My parents.
    ReplyDelete
  3. *flicks on TV, expecting to see another Oilers shit show*

    What the flying fuck is this???? Nilsson with another hi-light reel goal? Pisani and Penner too??

    How in the...???

    Soooo confused.
    ReplyDelete
  4. Moreau makes a perfect pass to Horcoff, who DOESN'T whiff????

    Alternate universe. That's the only thing I can come up with.
    ReplyDelete
  5. So I change the channel to see Pisani, Moreau and Horcoff team up for a goal, AND Horcoff actually scores on a one timer?

    WHAT. THE. HELL?
    ReplyDelete
  6. I cannot mentally come to terms with what I'm seeing right now. Maybe this is an exhibition game where we're playing the San Remo Darks. Yeah. That's it.
    ReplyDelete
  7. Stortini the crusher! Holy shit. What the hell got into these guys????
    ReplyDelete
  8. Jesus. Don't fuck with Mike Comrie!
    ReplyDelete
  9. You know what? I'd cheer for THIS team all year long.
    ReplyDelete
  10. That chick in the Fitness Singles ad -> is giving me a boner.
    ReplyDelete
  11. Fuck me, I missed this game AND all March Madness games today. But still - GOILERS! Who'd'a thunkit? Lordy it feels good to be happy about this asshole team willing games.

    ENTHUSIASM!!!

    BONERS!!!
    ReplyDelete
  12. Oilers destroy the sharks? Phoenix tied for the conference lead? Where the fuck am I? This is all a sign that I need to go find Meagan fox. Now.
    ReplyDelete
  13. Is Sam Jackson in this movie?
    ReplyDelete
  14. WAY better. Not only does it star 80's teen sensation Deborah Gibson, but the man, the myth, the legend, one of the greatest actors of the 20th century and beyond, Mr. LORENZO FUCKING LAMAS! The renegade himself!
    ReplyDelete

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