Easily the two deadliest offensive weapons the Oilers have in their arsenal.
I know a lot of you out there (I'm glaring at you with my bedroom eyes Dakin) want the Oilers to lose every game from here on out, so as not to fuck up getting our hands on Seguin or Hall, and I get that, but with a comfortable 7 point cushion on second worst the Oilers would have to pull out some kind of miracle to not finish 30th, and anyone who's watched more than 2 Oiler games this season can tell you that's near impossible. I still don't quite understand why we should have to worry about falling out of the top 2 in the first place because of this stupid fucking lottery. Seriously, if the last place team finishes that far behind everyone else then they clearly fucking need some help getting back on their feet. At least you can only move down one spot, and thankfully there are 2 studs ranked at the top so you can't really go wrong, but how pissed off are we going to be if we suffer the same fate as the Flyers in 2007? They finished with 11 less points than the 29th place Coyotes, and then all of a sudden here comes Chicago to steal every one's thunder, and land the number 1 pick. They won nine more games than the Flyers, yet they stole Patrick Kane. I think that's pretty ridiculous, but there a lot of things in the NHL that make no fucking sense to me. Anyway, back to the topic at hand; The Oilers will get one of the top two picks, and that shit is final!
If there's one thing that helps me not be suicidal this hockey season, it's looking up and seeing the Leafs directly in front of us in the standings. The same Leaf team that traded away two first round picks, who many figure will both be in the top 5, for Phil Kessel, signed a goalie who dominated the Swedish Elite League, and who was projected to be the next Henrik Lundquvist depending on who you asked, but has had a hard time finding his game here in North America (Monster indeed). This same Leafs team also traded away surprise break out player Ian White, and the only other guy outside of Phil Kessel who was contributing anything remotely worthwhile offensively in Nik Hagman for the always overrated Dion Phadouche (it was a pretty sweet move for Burke to dump Toskola on the Flames, I will give him that). And later shocked pretty much everyone who follows the NHL by somehow unloading Jason Blake and his ridiculous contract on the Ducks. Oh wait, they took back a 35 year old goalie who was usurped by some Swiss kid and is going to make 13 million dollars over this year and next? Well I'd call that one a wash. So Burke goes out and gets all these marquee name players, signs all these undrafted, "highly touted" college players (who were clearly undrafted for a reason), and yet the Leafs only have 7 more points than a team that has been using an AHL goalie tandem since November, has lost more man games to injury than any team ever, and has been forced to call up players from the worst AHL team in the league, all the while our GM sits on his thumbs and continues his 2 year long "evaluation". Nevermind the fact that if it weren't for the pitty point the Leafs would only have 2 more points than the lowly Oilers. Congratulations, you're team is better than my team at losing in OT and the shootout, and are only slightly less shitty in the standings.
To be honest though, as much fun as it is to shit on the Leafs (a traditional Canadian pastime) the scary thing is they aren't a whole lot different from the Oilers. New GM coming in to try and clean up the horrible shit pile the other guy left? Check. Bunch of AHL'ers playing regular minutes in the NHL, fighting for a job next season? Check. Horribly inconsistent goaltending? Check. A blue line that looks great on paper but has been shaky on more nights than they have been solid? Check. A lack of any real scoring ability up front? Check. A shot at drafting a potential superstar? Check for the Oilers, not so much for the Leafs. HAHAHAHAHA.
I wonder if Pat Quinn is excited to be back in the ACC. I mean, at least there he knows what it's like to "win" games and make the "playoffs", whatever that is.
I hope most of you are heading to the Pint tonight for the OilersNation party, because the Pint is a fun ass time, and it would be hilarious for everyone if the Oilers lost and you all got to see Wanye break down in the middle of the bar and start bawling. The old boy has had a tough year, and I imagine a loss to the Leafs, in front of a bunch of hoodlums from the Nation, after calling his shot would not go over too well, especially after he's crushed a couple towers of Bud Light. As for me I've got left over Olympic beers in the fridge that I didn't even buy, and I think a donair pizza is in order since I finally found a place in Vancouver that uses sweet sauce. Pizzo Pizza you are my favorite place on earth right now. So lets all get wasted and fat, and cheer our balls off. This is the last important game of the season for the Oilers. It's now or never boys. Other sports cliches. Etc, etc. Time for the Oilers to sweep the season series with the Leafs. BOOK IT!
jeanshorts prediction: Oilers 4 - Leafs 2.
TylerSeguin
IQWT
-jeanshorts
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