Super Sunday is here! This is more exciting than Grey Cup Sunday! Although, the shit I took this morning was more exciting than Grey Cup Sunday, but I digress. As I'm writing this Jaromir Jagr's soul just left his body thanks to Alex Ovechkin followed by Gino potting a Gino. I hope both of these teams "mysteriously" burst into flames before they ever have to play the Canadians, but this is a damn entertaining game.
Speaking of interesting, how fucking creepy does Jagr look in his Olympic picture? What the hell is going on with his eyes? It looks like he just got hauled in for possession of crack cocaine or something. Yeesh.
Ugh. Seriously Cold FX, if you keep playing these horrible Clara Hughes commercials so often you're going to have to develop a pill to get my penis out of my body. I'm not sure how using the ugliest athlete in the Olympics (maybe second to Malkin) is going to help you sell more pills, but it's definitely having the opposite effect on me.
Anyway back to actual business. This is a huge fucking game. The Duke of Douchington Ron Wilson has been running his mouth for the last couple of days, following in the footsteps of the King Douche himself. And according to Darren Dreger, Ryan Kesler says he "hates" Team Canada. You know, sometimes I wish I had a really embarrassing photo of Ryan Kesler dressed in woman's clothing just because I hate that mouthy piece of shit so much. Oh wait, here's one.
So while Sidney Crosby gets marriage proposals from women all around the league, Ryan Kesler has to settle for sitting by himself on the Canuck charter plane reading woman's magazines. I guess now I can understand why he hates Team Canada so much. Here's hoping he skates with his head down through the neutral zone while Mike Richards is circling around, looking for blood. It couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
This game is going to be a rough affair. While Team USA doesn't have the most skilled team, I will give it to them; They play very physical and very tough. But if there's any team that can beat them soundly at their own game it's our boys. I can't wait till Ryan Malone tries to take some liberties with Iginla, pisses him off, and pumps Iginla up so much that he scores 5 goals. As Oiler fans we unfortunately know that the madder Iggy is, the more deadly he is out there. And even though we're all supposed to hate him, who wouldn't love seeing CFP run Bobby Ryan's face through the glass with a borderline elbow? I might just burn my Pronger jersey in celebration when that happens.
The boys looked more than a little shaky against the Swiss last game, but in my mind I think it was the best possible thing for them. They don't look completely invincible now and I hope it was a humbling experience for them. They should come out flying tonight playing the tightest game we'll probably see all tournament. I'm glad Babcock is giving Brodeur another kick at the can tonight. He gave up two goals last game, but one was caused by a pretty bad turnover, and the other was a lucky deflection off his own guys skate. Look for him to come out with a fire in his belly tonight and shut the door at every turn. And besides, we all know what happens to Roberto Luongo in clutch games.
I'm not 100 percent sure about what happens if Canada loses this game, other than they will finish second in their pool and won't get a bye into the semi-finals. They need to win this game if only for the fact that we don't need to be getting guff from all 14 American hockey fans. Can you imagine if the US won, and then TLP wrote another scathing article about how horrible Canadians are? OilersNation would burn to the ground! So please Team Canada, win this game for us. Win this game so we don't have to deal with shitty Americans yelling and screaming about how even better they are now. Oh and, I mean, yeah, win it because we want the gold medal or whatever too.
This day is better than Christmas!
jeanshorts prediction: Canada 4 - USA 1.
GO CANADA GO!
IYWT (seriously how did I not think about making In Yzerman We Trust shirts like a month ago? This is why I'm not a millionaire yet).
-jeanshorts
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