Thursday, February 18, 2010

Bonsignore Citizens Brigade-Olympic Edition: Canada Vs Switzerland

Ohhhhh Canadaaaaaa! from jeff hamada on Vimeo.



This was the scene on Granville street Tuesday after Canada's 8-0 waxing of Norway. Seriously, tens of thousands of people filled the streets to watch what was essentially a full speed scrimmage. I can't WAIT for the gold medal game! It's going to be the biggest party of this decade!

Baggedmilk and I have a special place reserved in hell for the Swiss national hockey team. You see, like any good 20 somethings that have been forced to get jobs, join the real world and have become experts at being lazy, 90% of the hockey we play now-a-days takes place via an Xbox. One time, 2 or 3 years ago, as we often do we cracked open a couple beers and proceeded to play a little digital puck. Usually we play each other but every once and a while we'll throw all logic out the window and try to play together on the same team. We figured we'd get an easy game in first to get our legs underneath us, so naturally we picked Team Canada and we figured Team Switzerland would be a formidable but easy task. Next you thing know we're down 2-0 in the third period, firing off our 60th shot on net and cursing the day we ever discovered video games. I think someone working at EA was/is some kind of Swiss National or something because there is no way Martin Gerber should have been that amazing. Cause I mean, it's not like Martin Gerber shut out the Canadians in the Olympics in real life or anything. That's just silly.

Another reason I'm not a big Swiss fan; After the Canada game on Tuesday night the boys and I headed out on the town. We went to Granville Island to try and catch the free Trews show at Atlantic Canada House. Little did we realize that the Swiss house is also on Granville Island, and boy were they rockin' that night. They had won a couple medals or something and they were ready to party. Long story short we didn't end up getting into the concert so we headed back downtown to see if we could somehow cancel the Alexisonfire concert. We hop on the seabus and who joins us? 10 random members of the Swiss Olympic team. I'm pretty sure they were all coaches and shit because they were pretty old. Anyway next thing you know they start chanting "Switzerland, Switzerland, Switzerland!" We obviously rebuttal with "Canada! Canada! Canada!" to which they respond by yelling at the top of their lungs and stomping their feet. We got fucking out chanted in our own god damn country. DAMN YOU SWITZERLAND! If it wasn't for your amazing chocolate, beautiful women and masterfully crafted time pieces you'd easily pass Trinidad And Tobago to take over 30th spot on my "Countries I Dislike" list.

I've actually been nervous about this Swiss team for a few weeks now. They just give me a real uneasy feeling. They seem like one of those teams that could squeak out a couple close wins and next thing you know they're beating Canada in the semi's to advance to the gold medal round. Oh god, can you imagine? Suicide rates in Canada would be at an all time high. And then after the sports media finished offing themselves the rest of us would probably feel pretty cruddy too.

Jonas Hiller is a solid goalie, and his just beginning his ascent to the top of the NHL goalie mountain. Hnat Domenichelli is a turncoat asshole with a stupidly hard name to spell. Seriously you can't just be born in Edmonton, play for Canada in the World Jrs, and then again in 2006 at the Spengler Cup, then all of a sudden turn around and be all like "Yeah, I've lived in Switzerland for 3 years, Olympic team here I come!"
They've also got Portland Winterhawk, and solid young defenseman Luca Sbisa and Islander Mark Streit holding down the back end. They remind me a lot of Streit's New York Islanders team. They've got a few decent pieces here and there but on a whole they can't quite keep up with the big dogs. But again, this is what makes me nervous about them. They have players that the Norway's and the Germany's don't have. They're in that weird gray area. They're better than the shitty teams, but not good enough to be lumped in with the contenders. Thankfully though I can't really remember the last time a middle of the pack team made some kind of unexpected, Cinderella-esque run. Especially during the Olympics.

This game should be more interesting than that Norway game, but there's no way Canada loses this. In fact it won't be near as close as the Swiss/USA game on Tuesday. Canada is going to impose their will early on and never look back.

jeanshorts prediction: Canada 7 - Switzerland 0

GO CANADA GO!

IYWT

-jeanshorts

40 Say Your Piece:

  1. Oh yeah, did anyone watch the speed skating relay thing yesterday? In one of the qualifying races, the Canadians led the entire way, but the Chinese were right on their ass the entire race. Then on the last lap whoever was calling the race was like "Canada is easily going to take this one home". Then two seconds later the Chinese skater wins the race.
    Apparently CBC should always cover the Olympics.
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  2. Man these periods are fast without having commercial breaks every 3 minutes.
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  3. What the hell? NOT AGAIN!!!!!

    This powerplay is seriously horrendous. Maybe Mike Green shoulda made the team after all.......
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  4. I love the Swiss!! Thank you!
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  5. Brodeur has looked more Swiss tonight than anyone.


    Cause, you know, Swiss cheese? It has holes in it? Get it? RIGHT? SWISS CHEESE?

    Oh god please don't shit this game away.
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  6. Holy fuck, outside of that one Crosby chance and a half a Getzlaf chance the boys have looked horribly mediocre this period.
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  7. What? THAT'S NOT JDD IN NET??????
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  8. How sick would that replay/picture been if Crosby would have scored there while leaking from his face?
    I don't even like Crosby that much but I would have gotten that shit tattooed on my back!
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  9. I thought that space was reserved for Seguin.
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  10. Simple solution to that problem: become super-morbidly obese.
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  11. They're not gonna beat Hiller from 50 feet.
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  12. Holy shit! Hiller brought his A game tonight.
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  13. Apperentely they aren't going to beat Hiller EVER!

    That was a fucking sequence of saves. My word.
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  14. I am so pissed off that I woke up early, and what ESPN asia is showing is God damned women's snowboarding. I hate Asia, Asians, and all things rice.
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  15. If we lose tonight, I'm pretty sure Travis is going to be fighting someone.
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  16. I guarantee that Asian coverage is still better than the NBC coverage. If you love watching your country win medals AFTER they've already told you the results, then you'd be loving NBC.
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  17. BM - http://atdhe.net/10173/watch-switzerland-vs-canada
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  18. I've seen more legitimate penalty calls in 2 games of International Hockey then I've seen all season so far in the NHL.
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  19. Seriously, who the fuck is running this powerplay? It should be a guaranteed goal every time this team has an extra man on the ice.
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  20. Goes to show you how important a good goalie is. RIGHT STEVE??????
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  21. Thank god we locked up a former Stanley Cup winner.
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  22. "Guaranteed goal"

    Ah-hahahahahahaha!!!
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  23. Thank god he doesn't drink.
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  24. DIRTY GOD DAMN PLAY NASH!!!!!!
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  25. Barely escaped by the skin of our nuts.

    Fuck that was hard on my brain/heart/penis.
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  26. "Crosby does what he does best. Takes the world on his shoulders."

    Uhhh, what about the first shot, when he missed?
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  27. How do all those little kids get seats? Aren't tickets like $1000 a pop?
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  28. Rich asshole parents have rich asshole kids.

    And actually the round robin games are decently priced. Or, well they were when they first when on sale like a year ago.
    A lot of the lower bowl seats were only like 200-300 bucks which isn't outrageous whatsoever.
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  29. Shouldn't there be a "Righteous Sack Beating - Olympic® Edition"?
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  30. I had it all planned out too. I woke up early to watch the game, but then but fuck Asian ESPN decided that figure skating was more important. Fucking asians.
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  31. Reading all these ridiculous articles on how this is the "worst Olympics ever" because a few things have broken down and the weather is the warmest it's been in 100 years is making me really think about writing some kind of diatribe. And then I walk 4 blocks down the street and I could care less what anyone has to say because this is the most awesome party I'll probably ever attend in my entire life.
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  32. Well you'll be happy to know that figure skating is also going to be shown in America instead of the USA/Canada game.

    In conclusion you should just never come back.
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  33. You'll be happy to know that I'm home in two weeks, and I'll be happy to know that you won't be there.
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  34. So Lubo does amazingly well playing 25 minutes a game surrounded by decent players. WHO KNEW???
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  35. Holy shit. Cheryl Barnard is RACKED!
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