Bonsignore Citizens Brigade: Hurricanes @ Oilers

This still stings a bit, but it makes me laugh.

Winless in January. Say it with me kids "Winless, in, January". It's been 34 days since the Edmonton Oilers won a hockey game, or the way I like to think about it, it's been 34 days since the Oilers didn't lose a game. When do the Olympics start? At least then I can start getting super pumped up to watch hockey again, if only for 2 weeks.

Today was supposed to be a hilariously tragic battle of the basement as the (at the time) 29th place Hurricanes "blew" into town to take on the 30th place Edmonton Oilers. Well the Hurricanes have won 4 in a row, have a 7 point lead on the Oilers and sit comfortably in 28th, battling with the Leafs for who is less crappy.

The Oilers on the other hand are in a whole different tax bracket when it comes to the worst teams in the NHL. I was driving the DFF bandwagon pretty hard since about December, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine the Oilers being this horrendously bad. I'm not being sarcastic in any way when I say that I would not be shocked in the slightest if the Oilers finished the season with less than 20 wins. It's a pretty huge stretch, but it's already February and there's only 3 teams with less than 20 wins; The Canes, the Leafs and the Oilers. And with a Hurricanes win tonight that only leaves 2.

And it's not like the Oilers played nothing but the Sharks and the Hawks all January. There were more than a few winnable games. Hell there was like 3 or 4 games that they were winning, only to shit the bed in usual Oiler fashion late in the third, giving away another undeserved win.

I'm not normally one to buy into conspiracy theories, but perhaps David S is on to something here. How else can you explain both Zack Stortini and Mike Comrie being healthy scratches on Saturday? You're going into a game that everyone was expecting to be at the very least a hard fought, chippy, physical game, so you leave out your biggest agitator/fighter and a shrimp who battles hard, gets his nose dirty and isn't afraid to drop the mits? Yeah, makes perfect sense to me. All the cards were aligned perfectly for an Oilers win that night.....

Can anyone honestly say you're dropping 12 bucks tonight to watch this garbage on PPV? If you are then you must have lost your marbles a long time ago, or are some kind of crazy masochist, or you have way too much money to waste, and you should give it to me instead. I'm probably going to end up listening to this one via CHED so at least I can chuckle while Rod tears the team a new asshole for being this horribly bad. You think he wishes he would have retired last summer?

I think I'm just going to write a canned BCB post and just plug in the name of whoever the Oilers are playing that night. It'd probably sound something like this;

"The Oilers play the (insert team) tonight. And while (insert team) has been doing pretty lackluster lately sporting a (insert mediocre 10 game record) the Oilers are still haven't won a game in 2010, extending their winless streak to (insert suicidally large number). (Insert appropriate goalie initials) gets the start tonight, and against all odds he still hasn't packed his bags and sent himself back down to Springfield, where they've at least won games this month, let alone this year. We're in for another rough night tonight friends as (insert the names of players) are all hurt so the Oilers have been forced to recall (insert names of Edmonton Oil Kings/U of A Golden Bears/Panda's that no one has ever heard of) just to ice enough players for tonight's game."

Jarome Iginla viciously attacked Sheldon Souray on Saturday night, breaking Souray's hand with his face. So just in case we were all thinking "well at least this season couldn't get any worse", it did. Now, if we could all please stop thinking that, we don't need Pat Quinn keeling over in the middle of the second period after thecaptainethanmoreau takes another penalty behind the opposing teams net. It's going to be a long night tonight fellas, so lets all keep each other from clawing our own eyes out by making hilarious poop jokes all night. It's up to you to hold this fanbase together during these dark times.

IQWT

DFF

-jeanshorts