Everybody Poops

You know what's fucking disgusting? When you are in the washroom at work and you can hear the chicks washroom right beside it. Everybody poops apparently. I'm pretty sure that there isn't anything in the world that makes me want to puke more than a a chick with scutter bum. Now none of you really know me but those who do, know that there is one thing with me that you can take to the bank. I have a serious issue with shitting. I don't mean with me, the plumbing is all working down there, what I mean is that I have an issue with girls shitting. I don't know why. It's just fucking disgusting.

I have a real psychological problem it. Long time readers know how I feel about a clean ass what with the baby wipes and all. I wanted to post a link to that thread where we went off about the virtues of using baby wipes for the final touch on your ass but fuck, I can't find that post. Feel free to browse the JSBM archives for it and have a laugh at some of the old classic threads. Fuck Jeanshorts and Baggedmilk used to be prolific.



As I was saying, girls taking a shit is pretty much the grossest thing I can think of. It's like how they say that "no matter how hot the girl is, there is always a guy that is tired of fucking her." To me it's, yeah Megan fox is hot and all but she takes really greasy shits. That's seriously what I think about. Megan fox sitting on the shitter and letting it fly. Have you ever smelt a girl fart? What is up with that? It's fucking weird.



I go to great lengths to avoid having to deal with the reminder that girls do shit. For instance, when I am in bed and my lady goes into the bathroom I literally plug my ears and hum. She's probably just taking a piss but I don't want to take the chance of hearing anything. I never look into the toilette for fear of seeing streaks... I know I am fucked but dammit, it turns me off. What am I supposed to do to fix this problem? I just want to keep going on pretending that girls don't even have an ass hole.

Speaking of girls' ass holes... No I do not want to fuck them. Every time I have ever been with a new girl, why is it that my buddies always ask me "did you fuck her in the ass yet?" Fuck no. Why would you want to stick your dick in something so gross when there is something so absolutely amazing only an inch away.

"But it's tighter Travis..."

Man up boys, if you didn't have such a needle dick you wouldn't be complaining about a loose pussy. haha My buddy was dating this french chick a couple years ago and she was a bit of a slut. She asked him to fuck her in the ass! And they had only been together for a month or so. That's hilarious. So he starts fucking her bare back in the ass and he's loving it. He's fucking away and he can start to smell a little bit of nastiness which is to be expected. You know when you are fucking a chick in a good session and you get that little froth build up around the base of your cock? Yeah, he looked down and there was literally a shit froth around his cock. He pulls out and his dick looked like he had dipped it in mud. I'd fucking cut my dick off. Why would she ask him to fuck her in the ass if she wasn't fucking clean? That would turn me off forever. FUCK!!!



When I met my girlfriend I actually told her "I will never try to fuck you in the ass but I do pick my nose." Just laid it out on the line.

Back to the original idea of the thread, I'm in the washroom and I can hear a bad case of vibratto coming out of some chicks ass in the next room. Obviously I'm picturing some fat hideous hairy chick but as I walk out of the the bathroom, she exits at the same time and our eyes locked. She was gorgeous. But you know what? She may as well have been a man because I'll never be able to look at her the same again.

Fuck.

-Dakin