Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Bonsignore Citizens Brigade: Oilers @ Lightning

Nothing Odd Going On Here

Why does TV hate the Edmonton Oilers so much? 67 games this year are on PPV, and the one tonight is streaming on the Oilers website? What the fuck? I understand no one cares about the Tampa Bay Lighting, especially the people of Tampa Bay, but come on. Just because the Oilers put forth a mediocre to shitastically garbagerrific effort on most nights doesn't mean we don't want to watch them on our 13 inch black and white TV. It's powered by a hand crank! What are the odds that this feed crashes within the first 3 minutes of the puck drop?

I'm not even sure what to write about anymore in regards to the Oilers. They've played well their last 4 games and are riding a 3 game winning streak. So one part of me is happy. But given the fact that they pretty much have to win 7 out of every 10 games for rest of the year to get a sniff at around 7th or 8th spot it kind of seems like a futile effort. I never like to see the team lose really, especially when it means the Leafs are making up ground on them, but I'm also trying to look toward the future. What number does Taylor Hall wear again? 91? Alright I think we can put that one aside for him. I'm going to continue cheering for the Oilers, but really, I'd love for them to lose every game from now until the end of the year. Hopefully they can pump Pat Quinn full of pharmaceuticals long enough to keep him alive for at least next season.

The Lighting are, well, who the fuck knows really. I know Lecalvalier got off to a horrible start, but has picked it up in the last couple weeks. And Steve Stamkos came busting out of the gates, but hit the skids lately, and is back in Rick Tocchet's dog house. He hasn't scored in five games, so you all know what that means! Look for Stamkos to pot at least 2.

On our side of the ice, Robby Nilsson has 4 points in his last 3 games, which has some people *cough DAVID S cough* starting to believe he is finally turning into the second coming of Kurri. But come on guys, we've seen this same old song and dance before. It's only a matter of time before he goes pointless in 8 games, gives up the puck that leads to a bunch of goals against, and you guys are right back to running him out of town with the rest of us. Sure it's nice to see him earn part of his ridiculous salary, but lest we forget last season. Or the season before. Or the season before that, where he was good at times, and then mind numblingly bad during the rest.

Maybe I'm just a cranky piece of shit. I don't like winter, there is about 3 hours of sunlight a day, I'm getting sick and the Oilers are shitty. Hopefully I'll be proven wrong. Hopefully Robert Nilsson will score 70 points this season. Hopefully the Oilers make a miraculous push and land in 7th spot and then go on a deep run. If that happens I'll gladly eat all the fucking crow that's put in front of me. But I'm not holding my breath.

If you guys need me I'll be figuring out weather Taylor or Tyler will look better playing with Eberle next year.

jeanshorts prediction: Lighting 4 - Oilers 1

GOTAYLORHALL!

IQWT

-jeanshorts
Hatched by Jeanshorts And Baggedmilk at 5:02 PM
Labels: , , , , , , , ,

91 Say Your Piece:

  1. Holy Shit. The Lighting PR girl is SMOKING!
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  2. I vote Taylor. But that ship seems to be sailing off into the sunset with these "inspired" fucking wins. fuck.
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  3. Holy fucking shit balls I have the game on TV!!!!
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  4. This game is over.... The fat lady is singing.
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  5. Look at me, I have "cable" and a "TV". I'm surprised I can even understand you with that silver spoon in your mouth.
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  6. And another HUGE crowd in Florida.
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  8. I have to live in this god forsaken hell hole of a town so that I can "afford" things like that. It's a trade off.

    Oh well there goes the slump for St. Louis...
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  9. What the fuck, if we win tonight we'll be tied with the Canucks?
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    God I fucking hate the Canucks. Maybe I do want the Oilers to make a playoff push, if only to make sure the Canucks don't make it.
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  10. I don't want the Oilers to make the playoffs for fear that they might have to play the Canucks or Flames. Can you imagine how ugly it would be if either of those teams beat the Oilers in the fucking playoffs?
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  11. But can you imagine the permaboner of beating either of those teams as an underdog in the playoffs? Worth the risk in my opinion.

    And wtf is up with the graphics and replays WHILE the game is going. Terrible.

    __DrPow__
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  12. I would probably just stop watching hockey for a season rather than having to deal with hearing "HOW FUCKING AWESOME THE CANUCKS ARE THEY BEAT THE OILERS IN THE PLAYOFFS OILERS SUCK CANUCKS ARE SO AWESOME!"

    But thankfully they are somehow playing just has terribly as the Oilers. AND they have to go on that insane road trip in February which should be even more awesome.
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  13. haha the feed is straight from the scoreboard in the building, so that's why we get all those amazing graphics and replays.

    I watched one of the pre season Oiler games on a feed like that and it was sweet seeing all the lame shit they do during commercial breaks.
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  14. The motherfucking dreidel shuffle! This game can't get much better!
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  15. *googles the dreidel shuffle*
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  16. *gets no results*


    What the fuck is the dreidel shuffle?
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  17. Some thing popped up on the internet feed, and it was called The Dreidel Shuffle. I think it's the same kind of thing as those car races for free car wash vouchers at Oiler games.
    It was just cartoon dreidels floating around doing something. I don't know I got distracted because I got so excited.
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  18. Are we talking about the Jew toy?
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  19. Is it a toy? Or some kind of religious honekydoo they use to summon Moses or something?
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  20. What does Moses do when they summon him?
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  21. I'm not sure, but I guarantee he crushes some mad pussy, with his whole "parting" abilities and shit.
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  22. Fuck why couldn't you say that on the nation?

    There it is JS, One of the cleverest things you'll ever say and I only I saw it.
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  23. Because ON bowed down to The Man! And now they have to suck on his balls, which means we can't swear or talk about cool shit.
    Fuck money, I'd rather be able to say whatever the fuck I want*


    *would actually rather take the money.
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  24. haha

    *remembers fondly the way it was in the golden age... Before the lock down.*
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  25. Hey guys! What the fuck, Jeanshorts on the "lets lose the last 50 games for fucksakes" bandwagon" again? Pfft!

    Anyways, 1-1 huh? Looks that Nilsson kid is doing OK huh? Not as sexy as a chick taking a shit in the next stall over, but pretty damn close. Haha!
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  26. From Tom Gilbert's blog "I have to watch Gossip Girl because Mike's girlfriend is on there."

    And because you are a grade-a homosexual.
    Seriously he can't be straight, can he? There's no way.
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  27. Fuck Steve Downie is a piece of shit. FUCKING FEED HIM STONE!!!!
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  28. Holy fight night!!!!!

    Yeah. Gilbert HAS to be gay. No other explanation fits. Yeesh!
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  29. I mean, I don't care who he fucks away from the rink, I'll still shit on him for playing like garbage, but man. A dude who loves shoes, shitty movies, girl-centric TV shows, wears his hair like he does, and is just generally really feminine, come on, who are you fooling?
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  31. Just like Tiger Woods. He's a super famous, super rich, black athlete. I'd be surprised if he WASN'T fucking every piece of pussy he sees.

    PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!!
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  32. I'm not sure if I'm going to get banned here for being happy the Oilers scored.

    Ruling?
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  33. YOU ARE NO LONGER INVITED TO ANY JSBM RELATED EVENTS!

    Like I said I'm so torn. Obviously I always want the team to do as well as it can. But the temptation of being in a position to draft a fucking stud like Hall or Seguin is overwhelming me.
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  34. I'm not sure anybody would give a shit about Tiger if he didn't work so god damn hard on that "Mr Perfect" image. Guess that plan is shot to shit now. Might as well start hanging out with John Daly.
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  35. That was Patty O'Shy-Away dropping his check. Lazy fuck.

    Uhh... I mean...whee! Another nail in the coffin!
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  36. That's the thing though. Sure Tiger's sponsors and the sports media love to paint him as this "can do no wrong", Christian values whatever bullshit. But I'm not sure if Tiger has ever overly fronted that he's some kind of saint.
    Dude is BFF's with Charles Barkley and Michael Jordan. Not exactly the poster boys for monogamy.
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  37. Seriously man. How do you miss that shit?
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  38. These Tampa Bay guys are so shitty they're throwing us off our game.
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  39. There's only about 50 people in the arena by my count, but man there seems to be an overwhelming amount of good looking girls. Maybe Florida isn't so white trash after all.....
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  40. SCORTINI!!!!!!!!

    Is that the gordy howe hattrick?????

    I can fucking get behind that.
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  41. i was certain stamkos was going to light up the oil.... is he playing?

    gordie howe hat trick for big bobby clobber!!!!!!
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  42. So is Stortini "Hack", "Smack" or "Whack"?
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  43. Stortini has the same amount of goals as Spezza and one less than Jason Blake.
    That's fucking amazing.
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  44. So I'm watching a game in glorious HD that's supposed to be available "only on the Oilers website". Makes me feel kinda dirty.

    I like it.
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  45. Well you're missing some real treats, like seeing the Dreidel Shuffle!
    And the CW44 FOUR ON FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    And some 80 year old bitch hating life while they play the Adams Family theme.
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  46. I'm watching the same feed you are. Just got home mid way through the second.


    "And likes to cuddle"? More like "and knows he has to cuddle if he likes to fuck."
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  47. Oh. Well SSSOOOORRRRYYYYY. Some of us have satellite dishes, cause we like living in the 90's.
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  48. Seriously, how the fuck do you get a penalty for getting run into the goalie? How are you supposed to avoid that?
    Fuck I hate refs.
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  50. Did you know you can get free HD if you hook up one of those old-fashioned TV antennas? Apparently its a pretty big deal in big urban areas like Vancouver.
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  51. Yeah I saw some youtube video or something on how to make one of those antennas. But I've got a satellite dish that still thinks it's connected to my dad's house back in Alberta. So, I'll take free satellite and like 500 channels I don't watch.
    But I think I may try that antenna trick one of these days.
    You only get like 3 or 4 channels but it'd probably be sweet for HNIC.
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  52. fucking schremp got a point.... the leafs SUCK
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  53. Jesus Christ O'Sullivan sucks. What the fuck happened to that guy?
    He needs a spark. Or a trade.
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  55. O'Sullivan always sucked. Its just getting worse as the rest of the guys get better.
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  56. I'm not so sure I'd call my store "Badcock".
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  57. Yeah no doubt. There is definitely not need for the Bad in there. It's a bit overkill.
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  58. COCK!!!!!!*

    *Gratuitous post count boosting.
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  59. It's way quiet here tonight. It went from one two man party to another.

    Everyone must be prepping for the Stanley Cup parade after this 4 game win streak.......
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  60. Yeah man. I'm getting worried the vaunted JSBM might have jumped the shark.
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  61. This website jumped the shark a long fucking time ago, let me tell you.

    It's just one of those weird times. Everyone seems to be busy, with "Christmas" and "families" and "work" and all that other useless crap.
    It can't be a new years eve party everyday though right?

    Or can it????
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  62. But seriously, ON is pretty slow too. Just a bunch of regulars posting up. I bet that Ogden guy already has 100 posts, 87 before the game started.
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  63. Jesus that was a useless PP. We lose this game and it'll be on that two shitacular minutes.
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  64. You think Ogden Brother and Ogden Brother Jr know each other?

    And yeah that guy should be on the ON payroll. He must have a slack job, or work nights. Because he is all over that place.
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  65. Well at least you have Party in the USA!

    And Hannah Montana.
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  66. WIN!!!!!!!!

    Ah-hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    *crickets*

    OH COME ON! Don't worry, there's plenty of debacles to come this year.
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  67. My icy heart is starting to melt, but I'll be dammed if I start to become hopeful! FUCK THAT NOISE!

    Like I said, best case scenario is they keep playing well like this, but end up losing one goal games. COME ON!
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  68. HAHA so this site jumped the shark eh? I as gone for the last two periods because of my kid's christmas concert. It sure is weird being on the other end of those things. So much worse....
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  69. I'm starting to think that if we keep cheering against them they may just keep fucking us to spite us. Then we can cheer? or what? FUCKING STOP WINNING!!!
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  70. That's what I'm thinking too. Everytime I have so much optimism and hope, they fuck me in the ass. So now that I start hoping for them to lose, well let's just say I haven't been able to put away the KY just yet.
    Fuck. Time to start cheering again? Because I guarantee as soon as I start to get hopeful one way or the other they are going to pull the rug out from under me! FUCKING ASSHOLES!
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  71. This team is such a pain in my ass. (wait, you just said that)

    I don't give a fuck if it makes me a bad fan but I was actually hoping that Tampa would score there. I know how this story ends and I just want to get to the climax. But for fuck sakes it would be really nice to actually get to enjoy these wins. You know, like the Habs fans and Leafs fans that are losing their god damn minds because of a couple of wins.
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  72. what the fuck is going on... souray fucks up and ices it, then moreau eats it at the red line, then horc loses the draw clean. It was a goat fest and not a fucking bad thing happened because of it. Thats fucked up!
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  73. CURSE IS BROKEN PEOPLE! Wait, Grebs is out, and the goats have been playing very ungoat like as of late. Maybe Wanye was right!

    *locks himself in his panic room*
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  74. The funny thing with Leaf fans is though, if they didn't give up their first rounder for next year, and got off to the same horrendous start, they'd be in the same boat we are. Would rather have Taylor Hall than a couple of extra wins in December.
    Right now they're just glad they can continue praising Burke as the greatest man on earth. And the fact that they are moving Boston out of a top 5 pick.
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  75. Wow, I'm watching Quentin Terantino on Leno right now. He is so fucking fat now. And did he go gay?
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  76. I've always thought Tarantino was at least bi. He's so fucking weird.

    I think I'm going to start acting like that asshole Death Metal Nightmare on ON and just complain about the Oilers all the fucking time, regardless if they're winning or not.
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  77. fucking burke is a total douche bag but hes bright enough not to give kaberle away for nothing and beauchemin is a fucking steal for that money. I think hes making less than grebs ffs.
    I despise the fat prick but hes not a total fuck up like I want him to be. the bastard.
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  78. Lets start a fucking shit list of people we hate on the Nation....

    -Death Metal Nightmare
    -HansBaurMesserschmittWatson
    -The Towel Boy
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  79. how about that handjobmessmypants fucker over there? his old man shoulda sent that load to the fucking sheets.
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  80. DAVID S (for now anyway)

    A lot of the time those guys are hit or miss.

    Hemmertime was so fucking annoying during and for like a month after the Heatly thing. All he would talk about is how awesome Heatley is and how shit the Oilers are. But he hasn't really said anything annoying for a while.

    Everyone else is pretty sweet though, aside from all the random trolls that seem to double by the day.
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  81. Oh and I'm not a Barry S fan either. I think he's been dipping into the sauce lately, because if he's not annoying me, he's posting shit that makes no sense.
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  82. that deep oil prick was sort of interesting in his own fucked up way. Pretty sure he lost a lot of perks when Katz took over which makes me suspicious he was one of those oilpatch minor partners that raped the oiler organization for suites and high on the hog shit even though they didnt pony up much cake. there were some out of Lloydminster that strutted around like fucking royalty during the 06 run.
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  83. hahaha I was just thinking to myself "You know, I don't miss him posting 20 nonsensical comments a day, but sometimes I'd get a kick out of trying to decipher what the fuck Deep Oil was trying to tell us".
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  84. I liked Deep Oil. It really entertained me.

    That Hatecoff fucker made me want to kill people.
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  85. I was really excited when Brownlee almost outted him the other day. I love a good conspiracy theory.
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  86. yah that WAS cool when brownlee had him by the pubes. In a way its kind of flattering to ON that a legitimate guy with a beef against Katz was using that forum to take his petty shots. Brownlee fucked up his vehicle LOL
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  87. Ha! That was a solid lunchtime read felas, thanks for continuing the retardation.

    And when the shit did Brownlee crush deepoil? WTF?!?

    Weird how we're all in agreement on who sucks over at ON. I just love you kids even more now.
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  88. Oh, and I fucking hate Sandra. Her continued use of "Desjarlais" drives me fucking batshit crazy. It infuriates me typing it now.

    CUNT.
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  89. Haha! Poo Czar, you were missed last night!

    Deep Oil was borderline slandering Katz and the Oilers at ON. Dude wouldn't let it go. Brownlee knew who he was, so he called him up and (I'd bet) told him he'd reveal his name if he didn't quit. That shut him up pretty fast.

    I'd bet Roughneck up above had it right on the nose. Alot of the junior shareholders were pissed when Katz closed the deal, even though they made out like bandits. My guess it was because Katz gave them their cheques and told 'em all to fuck off. Its a big kick in the nuts when you think you're the shit and a guy who IS the shit puts you in your place.
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  90. Oh yeah. JS - you're off my Christmas card list. Ah-hahaha!
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  91. That tigerunderglass guy is a real cock too. It looks like Brownlee is about to rip him a new one.
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