Thursday, December 3, 2009

Bonsignore Citizens Brigade: Oilers @ Wings

This has clearly been Photoshopped

So the game starts in a half hour you say? Well fuck. Sorry boys I've been really busy lately and unfortunately it looks like this place has fallen apart. Maybe I should think about recuriting a few more guys so I'm not the only person that writes anything.......

Is it just me, or has this break from hockey been kind of nice? Don't get me wrong, if I had my way the Oilers would somehow find a way to play every day. But with the ship sinking faster and faster every game, it's been fucking great to get a break from trying to deal with all this bullshit. 8 games in 14 days seems like a lot of hockey to squeeze out, so I'm sure the Oilers players are as relieved as anyone to get a few days off and not think about what a shit show the season has been so far.

The Oilers play Detroit tonight huh? The only good thing I can think of off the top of my head is that the Wings have been playing pretty shitty, by Red Wing standards anyway. Two trips to the Stanley Cup finals in a row look to be finally catching up to this troupe of soft Swedes. Combine that with Chris Osgood having one of his "I'm going to play like shit" years and it's been a rough ride so far, again, as far as Red Wings standards go. And by Red Wings standards I mean that anything less than being top 3 in the league is horrible.

Anyway I don't even really know what's going on going into this game. Everyone is still hurt I assume. The Oilers will lose spectacuraly tonight I assume. And Ryan Potulny will get a hat trick tonight, I assume. I'm already resigned to the fact that this season is a lost cause. And I'm glad. I would rather lose like the losingiest losers on the planet, and get a shot at one of the T's, than play decent down the stretch, and wind up in 9th, one point out of a playoff spot. At least this way we'll hopefully get something sweet out of the deal. But you know, even if they keep losing, as long as they come out and play with the same kind of jump that they did against the Sharks, then at least this season will be fun to watch. That's all I ask of you Oilers; play hard and make the games interesting to watch.

jeanshorts prediction: Wings 5 - Oilers 2

GOTAYLORHALL!

IQWT

-jeanshorts
Hatched by Jeanshorts And Baggedmilk at 4:30 PM
Labels: , , ,

27 Say Your Piece:

  1. Has anybody ever seen that Rammstein video for Mann Gegen Mann?


    Jesus that is a sloppy pile of awesomeness.....

    Thanks Towel Boy.
    ReplyDelete
  2. Men gagging men???

    They have this video for their newest single, and it's literally just porn. It's fucking weird. And they released a special edition box set for that same album, and it came with big dildos molded off their own cocks.

    Fuck Rammstein are weird. I wonder why they aren't huge in the states?
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  3. I've never paid much attention to them but The Towel Boy just posted that link on twitter and then I was sucked in to a world of german tehno and greasy men. A very dark world.
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  4. baggedmilk has this VHS tape of Family Values tour 98 or whatever. And Rammstein sings this song called "Buch Dich" or something. Anyway during one part of the song the singer whips out this fake cocks and starts thrashing it around on the rest of the band and it starts spraying like a fire hose I think. It's fucked up.
    Needless to say it's easily our favorite part of the video.
    ReplyDelete
  5. Well that's just showmanship.
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  6. Why are the comments still fucked up? I have to go out and back into the article to get them to show up.
    FUCK YOU BLOGGER!
    ReplyDelete
  7. God dammit I love Jacques. He doesn't even need to score a goal for the rest of the year, and he will still be one of my favorites.
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  8. That goal was all skill!

    WWWHHHEEEEOOOOOPPPP!
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  9. Fuck I can't play anymore. I'm taking the little one to the show. Interpret that as you will.
    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey boys! What's this shit? Oilers ahead? BY TWO?????

    No wait! THREEEE?????????

    JESUS H CHRIST!!!!
    ReplyDelete
  11. If O'Sullivan gets a hat trick I'm going to start shoving things up my own ass.

    Also, it's about god damn time.
    ReplyDelete
  12. Fucking guy. He shoots the snot outta the puck every time he gets it and nuttin'. This game he slides it anywhere in the vicinity of the net and its in. Maybe Willis is onto something about long-term averages.
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  13. What kind of ridiculous tear do we have to go on to make the playoffs? 7 points every 5 games to hopefully make 8th? So that means we're still in the Hall/Seguin sweepstakes right? Good.
    If this team plays well enough to come close to the playoffs and not make it, scratch that, even if this team makes the playoffs and goes to anyhting less than the finals, and we miss out on a huge, potential franchise player, I'm going to use my get out of jail free card and murder someone.

    Those cards apply in real life right?
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  14. Holy shit! What in the flying fuck did these guys eat the last few days? They're actually in this game*.

    *Up enough to still lose that is.
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  15. BTW - What happened to all the awesome posters on this site? Is JSBM the Springfield Falcons of Oilers blog sites where guys write for a while before they get poached by the big team?

    Dakin I kinda get because he's got a kid and a job in shitty Ft Mac. But Rusty? Towel Boy? And that fucker BM?

    Jesus fuck. Scared the shit outta me when I didn't see any god damn content the last few days. I figured you pulled the pin when you started getting those fat ON cheques.
    ReplyDelete
  16. No, unfortunately I've just been the perfect mix of super busy/insanely lazy. I also didn't get to spend much time watching Sportscenter or reading about goings on in the rest of the NHL, and thus, and so on, and hence, no article on the Nation this week either. I think I blew my wad last month when I was posting like I had turrets syndrome.
    I can't see it getting any better the closer we get to Christmas, but I'll try my best.

    Those other assholes though, no excuses. NO EXCUSES!
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  17. 4-1. I dunno. Think we'll make it to OT?
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  18. If we lose in a shootout I think we can call it a moral victory.
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  19. So I don't get it. You know we're all waiting for the third period breakdown. So there's 10 minutes left and we're doing a pretty decent job. What the hell?
    ReplyDelete
  20. Holy crap! They just replayed the Nilsson goal. And we want to get rid of that guy? FUCK!
    ReplyDelete
  21. The only thing with the Nilsson goal, he beat a barely sophomore d-man and an AHL goalie. It was a sick, sick move, but, yes, we still want to run him out of town.
    And, if he keeps scoring goals like that, imagine the return we'll get on him!
    ReplyDelete
  22. Stone, Nilsson and Stortini are going to make you eat those words muthafucka.
    ReplyDelete
  23. Uhhh..OK. We won, right?

    Funny. I almost forgot what that felt like. Hmmm...I think I have a boner coming on.

    Nope. False alarm.
    ReplyDelete
  24. WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. Wait a minute here. Whoa. Slow down. Okay.

    Who the hell is this "Rene" on the Score, and why is this the first time I'm hearing of her????
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  26. I don't know. I turned to the Oregon/Oregon St game, since the Bills game looked so fucking boring. And this game actually means something. Anyway some girl from the Score showed up named Renee Pacquette and man, she was easy on the eyes. Apparently she's some kind of comedian. And if there's one thing I like it's hot girls with potty mouths.

    AND ERIN ANDREWS WORKING THE FOOTBALL GAME! Best Thursday ever!
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  27. Merry fuckin' Christmas Jeanshorts...

    http://www.bite.ca/video/A-Very-BITE-Christmas-04-Renee-Arrives/
    ReplyDelete

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