Holy Shit A Black Guy! I'm an avid reader of Puck Daddy. It's grouped in with my daily blog reads along side the likes of Oilersnation, this is why you're fat, Chatelaine, Ranger Rick and Buttman's Anal Super Site (which, by the way, is a pretty brisk read IFYOUKNOWHATIMEAN!) I'm also a glutton for punishment. By that I mean for whatever reason I always seem to gravitate toward the comments section underneath the posts. Maybe it's a force of habit thanks to Oilersnation, but I can't seem to stop myself from at least scanning over what some of the douchiest fans in the league have to say about a myriad of topics.
I'm sure we all saw Johnny Boychuck give Matt Stajan the birthday bumps on Saturday. It was a sick hit. Just absolutely crushed him. Kind of reminded me of Scott Stevens. Anyway, as is the norm with every single body check these days it seems, the much talked about "head shot" came to the forefront once again. I've already talked ad nauseum about this topic so I won't get into that here. I did, however, come across a hilariously stupid comment from one of the faggy, anti-body contact crusaders (the first part is him quoting someone else);
"My favourite comment on the headshot debate came from, who else, Don Cherry:
(paraphrasing) If that's a head shot, then every time Chara hits someone, it's a headshot.
Gold."
If Chara keeps his elbows in to his body, then no, it's not. If, like Boychuk, its the primary spot of impact, or like Richards its the ONLY point of impact, then yes.
I'm just going to let this hilarity speak for itself, but come on man. You anti "head shot" crusaders have to make up your fucking mind. It's shit like this makes it pretty clear you've never played contact hockey before in your life, and therefor you should have no say in what should, or should not be legal in the NHL. I'm almost as bad at math as I am at keeping this blog afloat, so I'm not going to march into Austan Goolsbee's office and tell him how I think the best way to fix the shitty US economy is. I just wish you assholes would go away and stop watching hockey so the rest of us can enjoy seeing a guy get his clock cleaned because he tried to cross the blue line with his head down, without having to hear about what a monster Johnny Boychuck is for the next week and a half.
Wait, is there an Oilers game tonight? Huh, so there is. The Oilers are playing the Blues, and I'm going to go out on a limb here and predict a big, fat, sloppy loss. SURPRISE! Thankfully I'll only have to suffer through the first period before it's off to the land of ice and snow. I'll see you guys at the airport!
jeanshorts prediction: St. Louis: 2 points - Oilers: Pat Quinn punches O'Sullivan in the eye during the second intermission for shooting the puck wide on an open net on a break away.
GOTAYLORHALL!
IQWT
-jeanshorts
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77 Say Your Piece:
I just now realized that all 3 Blues in that picture are former Oilers. It's like a god damn revolving door.
Happy Jew Christmas! I'm already half drunk...
Holy shit, today is Jeanshorts' return to the frozen tundra! Fuck man, you're in for a psychological readjustment. There's god damn snow everywhere, and I hope you're bringing your insulated flip flops. Ha ha!
Anyways, so yes, another debacle in the making. Despite what my head is saying, my heart says Oilers 5-3. I mean, a team can't possibly play crappy this many homes games in a row can it? CAN IT?
*crickets*
The sweetest thing is, normally I bring my giant, fur hood lined, super warm parka with me. But since I'm hoping over to a tropical island in January, I have no room for it. So I already guarantee I'm going to freeze my balls off. I hope my friends like to hear me complain! (they don't).
Oh well, it can't be any worse than when BM came back from his first round in Asia, and he stopped here for a week. The weather was around 10 degrees or so most days, and he had like 8 layers on and was still shivering. Fucking pussy.
BRAD LIKES BOYES!
For that reason, and that reason alone. the Oil win win this bitch.
Also, cowboy the fuck up and cherish some actual goddamn Canadian winter!
Nice of Gene to interview Cogs while he's standing between 2 jocks straps. Classy!
I bet Dakin could scrape up some Shell insulated coveralls for you. Yeah, that would work just fine. Heh heh.
Would they be crusted with puke and sperm both inside and outside? Of course. But still - free coveralls, right?
You think both of us would fit into a pair of coveralls at the same time?
Oh man. You're going to have Poo Czar jizzing before the puck drops!
#reload
Both of you in the same coveralls?!?!?!
Jizz prediction fulfilled!!!
So it's DOOB-nik? is it?
I can get behind cheering for a Big Doob...
Fuck, how awesome would it be to have a beer with Kevin Quinn and Gene Principe and hear them crack horrible jokes about each other all night?
I hope Backes beats the shit out of Horcoff again. That would help me meet my jizz quota.
They'd be too busy eating human flesh to satisfy their demons to really visit during the beer.
Or making out furiously.
Or 69ing.
hahaha I picture that being the most awkward man on man sex of all time.
I can't imagine how badly DD is shitting his pants right about now.*
*Dakin isn't in yet, so I can still mention shit.
Is Dubnyk wearing some kind of Christmas themed mask? Or does he always rock this gay snowflake design?
I think you and Dakin in those jizzy coveralls will be more awkward...
Nice pass to absolutely no one Jacques. Stick to throwing hits that put you out of position.
WoW! I guess not much passes for hooking these days.
It's like the shittier the Oilers play, the more collars Quinn wears. I'm pretty sure it's so his head doesn't explode off his body.
What the fuck man. I've seen better goals than that one on the outdoor rink. Fucking garbage.
It's a good sign when 2 of our best D-men fuck up that badly. It's going to be a long night.
Oh my fuck that was a weak goal DD!!!!!!!!!!!
Well at least the pressure of working on his first NHL shutout is off DD's back.
hahahahahaha. fuck. Nice play Horcoff/Penner.
I hate to say it, but Horcoff is a line killer.
What the fuck. That's the third time already that someone on the Oilers has made a pass to absolutely no one. Jesus Christ take a look.
Nice PP, did we cross the blue line?
GOALS!
Nice play boys. THE KID LINE IS BACK! PLAYOFFS!!!!
What the fuck Gagner, LET STONE HAVE THAT ONE!
Did you see that, that wop Cogliano interfered with Gags' glass jump.
Gagner and Cogliano!!!!!!!!
Man I love those guys on the same line.
Coliacavo and Cogliano in a race for the puck. That's a whole lotta greasy Italian sausage.
It was Cogs goal that Gagner finished off. Not really cool to do the glass jump on that one. Sam wouldn't do that to his best friend.
O'Sullivan on the other hand - SMASH THAT GLASS!!!
Fuck man, someone get Stone a goal!
DD has about the gayest mask I've ever seen.
I don't know, this one is pretty gay
http://www.infoterror.com/internet_activism/media/images/hedonism.jpg
^ Dude.
The wife on those stupid all weather windows commercials sounds Asian. Which is probably why she sounds like such an annoying cunt.
How the fuck is this guys name Arash? He's whiter than I am.
Atta go hockey central panel, you just jinxed the shutout. Epic Fail
Don't you guys have the market cornered on hot Asian chicks? I figure every guy from Van must have a permanent boner for Asian tits. Although maybe that's an urban myth.
You know, I don't see a whole lot of white dudes with Asian chicks out here. They usually stick with their own kind. I think it's mostly because 80 percent of them are fresh off the boat.
And I am not a fan of Asian girls. I find maybe 1 out of 1000 hot.
I love how fucking cheap Safeway is. I don't even remember the last time anyone in the NHL scored five goals in a game, but if an Oiler does it you're still probably not going to get the money? That's so fucking lame.
Fucksake. Man am I going to be glad when we get an NHL goaltender back between the pipes.
Right through the wickets again. I guess the downside to having a 9 foot tall goalie is his 5 hole is bigger than BM's mouth. (he has a giant fucking mouth, physically, to go along with the fact that he never shuts the fuck up)
Yeah has two between the legs, don't they teach you something about that in goalie school. But Jesus, that two where a guy can chill out right on top of the crease and our D just has a look at the guy, but doesn't touch him.
hahahahaha. What the fuck Kevin Quinn you got BOTH fighters wrong?
Whatever happened to the days when you could smash the opposing player in front of your crease? Now its the pussy zone.
BDP making amends for that last St. Louis goal!
When the fuck does BM come back. I and I thought he was going to write more often.
Penner! Noice!
Yeah man. I hate to say it, but I miss those BM reports. Now he's got a girlfriend and everything goes to shit.
He was supposed to come home yesterday. But then he decided to stay until February. And then he figured it was going to be too cold, so he pushed it back to March. And now we have a friend going to Thailand with her boyfriend so he's probably going to push it back again to party with them. I'd be surprised if he actually came home at this point. He fucks a hot girl 3 times a day, gets smashed while he works and lives on the beach. Why am I still here???
And yeah he keeps telling me he's going to stop being such a lazy piece of shit and write some more, but I guess it's a little hard to get motivated when you have to pay for internet in 20 minute increments or whatever.
Don't worry though I've got a few ideas on the back burner right now in regards to him telling all his ridiculous stories. So you'll hear them eventually.
She's marrying a handi... SO YOU"RE SAYIN I HAVE A CHANCE?
What was all that one in a million talk?
I always picture female athletes having clits that are bigger than my dick. Probably because of that gross Chyna sex tape. Fuck it still haunts me.
Fucking Baggedmilk is all I have to say.
That Winter Classic is gonna be an awesome way to work off a five-alarm hangover.
Isn't it at like noon? Why the fuck do they have them so early? Daylight schmaylight. How the fuck am I supposed to get up that early after a 19 hour drinking binge?
Is it just me or has Souray been pretty much invisible tonight?
Ah yes. The requisite 2nd period giveaways.
Oh! There he is.
Fuck.
JESUS DUBNYK!!!!!
JESUS TITTY FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!!
Beauty goal by Smid.
Well, on that note, it's time for me to head the fuck outta here. See you faggots later!
Have a good trip you little bastard!
Ah shit. Better throw the backup in.
Oh. Right.
This is turning ugly fast. The old school in me is yelling LINE BRAWL.
Quinn post gamer should be interesting.
I feel bad for Quinn. No NHL goaltender, a lineup with too many AHL'ers, no help coming. He's fucked.
Yeah me too, he definately cares about winning and hates losing. It just seems like he is in the minority. Not saying all the players like losing, but some just seem OK with mediocrity. Add to that a borderline AHL team as it is = Quinn having a stroke mid game.
Too bad Dubnyk's parents couldn't make up here from Lethbridge tonight. He will need his mom to clean his soiled sheets.
Oh man. This is tough to watch.
Agreed, at least make it look you care guys...
I feel so fucking bad for Dubnyk. I'm getting exactly what I want here in another loss but fuck. Poor kid.
At least he now knows how much works he has to do before he gets his next shot at the NHL.
That would be alot BTW.
Wow.... fucking awesome. Dear Steve Tambellini, uh dude, listen.... I think you can tell by now that this team fucking sucks balls. I don't know if you got the memo or anything but uh, It's YOUR job to fix it. You wanna maybe try a little?
What the fuck happened??? 7-2?? That's hilariously bad.
On a more positive note, who is this new chick on Sportscenter because I'm pretty sure I love her.
You keep talking about this new hot Sportscenter chick. Name? Link? Pics?
Welcome back to snow country Jeanshorts! Looks like you were able to avoid the paparazzi at the airport because I didn't see anything in the local rags about your arrival. Although you got in after press deadlines, so I suspect there'll be a shitload of coverage tomorrow.
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