I have no idea what the fuck people's fascination with this Twilight shit is. So some vampire falls in love with a girl but doesn't turn her into a vampire but she ends up becoming a vampire cause she loves him or something? Maybe if I was a fat 17 year old girl I'd understand it, but I don't and I don't intend on finding out any time soon. Let me tell you though, these fucking Twilight fans are like something I've never seen before. When I was working on Peak Season (Monday's on MTV, watch it you fucking ungrateful cunts), the offices we worked in were at one of the big studios out here in Vancouver, and goth kids would sit around outside the gates all day just in case one of the Twilight people came out or something. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the Twilight movies were shooting nowhere near us. Actually fuck that, I did have the heart, I just didn't want to get my eyes scratched out by these fucking lethally crazed fans.
I also met the red head chick that got fired off the third movie at a bar one night, and she was fucking cool as can be. Bought me a round of shots and everything. If it wasn't for the fact that I was already there with another chick your boy jeanshorts probably would have had an even sweeter story about being rejected by a celebrity!
Anyway, apparently they showed a trailer for the new Twilight movie at the MTV awards a few months back and fat, ugly girls and gay dudes across the land completely lost their shit. Why? Haven't they already read the books like 50 times? They can't be surprised by anything they see in these fucking movies can they? That's like someone going into the Passion Of The Christ and coming out like "Oh fuck man I can't believe he came back to life at the end. That was such a surprise ending".
I'll tell you one thing, they're going to have to scotch guard the fuck out of theater seats across the world because if these bitches get this worked up over a 2 minute trailer then I can only imagine the amount of love juice that is going to be flying out of their clams when they see these werewolf dudes shirtless on a 200 foot screen for an hour and a half.
Please don't ask me how I stumbled across this, because I look up some random ass shit on the internet. When I'm not looking at porn or Oilers related news I usually find myself deep within the bowels of the internet. It's some dark shit. Anyway here's a sweet video compilation of some of the funnier reactions from fat bitches watching the trailer.
Look at that shit. If these chicks get this riled up over a fucking movie preview I can't imagine how they're going to react when some schmuck awkwardly inserts himself inside them for the first time. They're probably going to weep non stop for days.
Fuck Twilight, it's all Mormon propaganda anyway. But that's a story for another time.
-jeanshorts
Re: Reaction Video: Fuck. Me.
ReplyDeleteI totally read some article about Twilight being chock full of Mormon values and shit. It's even on the approved list of "books that won't send you to hell" for Mormons. The chick that wrote it is Mormon. Yah. Mormony mc mormon MORMON! YAH!
What a great post to start the week with. You sir delivered!
ReplyDeleteThat video was shit-pants funny too. I swear to god I can't figure out how people can get so fucking consumed by a god damn movie. Its like every shut-in chick in the world watches this shit. Now I suppose this explains their fatty-ness. But still, jesus people, get a life.
There's one part where there are two chicks in a living room or something, and one is wearing like red track pants and a green shirt. Those chicks look hot. But they're the only ones. I don't think I've ever seen a hot girl talking about her love of Twilight.
ReplyDeleteAlthough when I met that actress at the bar the only reason I found out who she was was because I was talking to these random girls from Calgary and they started to freak out when they saw her. They weren't anything to write home about but they definitely would have done in a pinch.
I think that should become our mission gentlemen; find a hot ass Twilight fan.
Lonely fat bitches creaming over a crap movie with bad acting, bad effects, and a shit script. Why? It's vapid nonsense they can project themselves into cause they're fat and lonely. Fuck Twilight and I hope the author dies a thousand deaths for inflicting her tampon of a book series on the world.
ReplyDeleteGot Oilers!!
My thirty-two-year-old friend is inexplicably obsessed, torturing me with her online searches for Robert Pattinson imagery and calling the movie sexy. My friend is pretty and has a very active social life, so it can't be based upon a void in her life, but I think Twilight is lame! Vampirism is supposed to be dark and gruesome, not pretty and drowning in the cheesiest dialogue.
ReplyDeletei think you guys all sound a little too bitter about it. maybe you are the "fat dudes" that are jealous because this young attractive movie star is stealing the hearts of the only "fat chicks" you might ever get some attention from. i think twilight is lame too, but daaayuum. who made you d-bag internet losers god?
ReplyDeletewow...just wow
ReplyDeletefuck Twitlight
ReplyDeleteI know that Twilight is the Gayest shit. And I known some real vampires show or Movie that is call hellsing and the main character is alucard if you guys don't known who is alucard is ? Here are the links of him in a video "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMTIny2Sc8E"
ReplyDeletePS he is a real vampire plus a badass. here is a fun video that alcucard kills Edward Cullun "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPTDflyt3yI"
"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srMqm5CcdIQ&feature=related"
"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLonfnhCKOc&feature=related"
People who take the time to bitc* about it and say how much they hate it 24/7 are just as bad, if not, worse. At least being obsessed brings them happiness, you guys are just bitter and annoying.
ReplyDeleteI am not defending the books or movies, cause frankly i dont find them that interesting, but seriously, both sides need to shut the fck up.