Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Hello, Friends



Today I lost an hour of sleep. I love sleep. What the fuck is going on.

Oh yeah, my name's Rusty. I'm not sure if you remember me... but you should.


What the fuck has gone on? I'm somehow in Winnipeg... Dustin Penner is 4th in NHL scoring. I have a raging boner. How many of those things would you have predicted a mere 2 months ago? 1? That's right... 1. My massive boner.

Moving along



I just figured I'd take a quick moment to reacquaint myself with you lovelies. I've missed you oh so much. I've been the busiest I can remember this last few months. Fuck work and responsibilities and all the cock slobbing that comes along with it. As I mentioned earlier, I'm in Winnipeg right now. Yay!

There are a few things I've realized about the Peg:

1). That episode of The Office when Michael goes to Winnipeg on business with that golden quote that went something along the lines of "Who would want to go to Winnipeg in November" Agreed.

2). The Oilers actually had a game on TV that I could catch out here... for this I am thankful. Even if they walked out with a grande total of 0 points.

3). Thank fuck there is a bar downstairs that actually draws some tail. I spent the last couple hours drinking away the pain that was the Oilers game. During those precious hours I was surrounded by actual hot ass. WTF eh? Winnipeg has a lot of large women... annnnnnnd a lot of nativeness.... I don't expect a whole lot of anything out here, but tonight I was proven wrong. I had me a run-in with pretty much the sexiest piece of ass I've ever seen. The best part was her and some friends were with all of their BFs... Ya boy R. Shacks was sitting alone like a douche pounding brew after brew. Everytime I looked over I had 1 of the 3 skankies staring dead in my eyes. Must have been the Oilers hat.



I love hot asses and thought I should share that with you all. I don't much love Winnipeg, but at least I was entertained for a little while.

OH yeah... I was writing a list.

4). I got a schooner of beer, followed by a pint of beer for.... $9.70 Ummmmm what? Nothing pisses me off more than going to somewhere that has PST and finding things actually cheaper (ie. Timmies coffee) but fuck me. Under $10 for a decent amount of booze at a bar. I guess I should take the sunshine when it comes. Even better, after I dropped my $10 and told the server I was good... not once, but twice I was found to say I'm done... only to come crawling back for more hootch within minutes. I guess that's what I get for deciding not to bring chronic with me. I guess that was a smart idea... *shoots self*

I'm done with the list. Winnipeg is weak, but there's some decent parts. Mostly just that skanky goodness that looked like Elisha Cuthbert, but with a better smile and an ass that just didn't quit. If you watch the Score (which I do not, except for tonight), there's this chick on there that makes Evanka look like a hoaglie bo-fug. (That's right js... check it out). Oh yah.. the chick in the bar tonight looked like the chick on the Score, except like a cross Elisha Cuthebert.. and sexy.

The best part for me.... well... I'm out of here Friday night. Off to Toronto. For a whole weekend on the company without any work. Holy fuck will I take advantage of that. Downtown T-dot with a hotel to my lonesome and everything paid for. If I don't bag me a Toronto skank on Friday night... shoot me dead.

Holy rambling, rambles.

Here I go getting all giddy spewing my inaudible rambles to you all. I guess what I'm trying to say is... I've missed you. I want to post tits for you. I want to strut nude for that chick on the Score. There's so much I want to do.

I'm in the dot on the weekend, so I'll try and sneak my camera phone ways in the Zanzibar. I stayed across the street from that filth hole and didn't go. This weekend, I will go and expose myself to Ontario's finest strippers.

Enjoy the rest of the week, you sick fucks. I know I will. Please love Rusty.

Also,




CONGRATS JEANSHORTS THE OILERSNATION SLAYER!!


Sackbeatings, BCBs, Weekly exposure on the nation.... jeanshorts has been carrying this place on his back, and the lazy "writers" here on JSBM had better give him some love. *swooooooooon*

Towel Boy has also taken over the nation-waves... what a pile of handsome that gentleman is. Keep on keeping on, and such.

Congrats to Big Daddy Dakin for whipping it out each and every BCB. Goodness.

Congrats to Rusty for being alive after all these weeks. HOoraY!



Did I mention I have a raging erection?

Good.

*kisses*

9 Say Your Piece:

David S said...

Rusty lays up his first post in a while and you lazy bastards don't even chip in with a nice stinky fart.

*Squeezes one out. Admires scent*

A salute to Rusty and all things NSFW!

And I agree that JS has been busting his balls with content lately. Nice job, man!

Rust bucket said...

Haha I just re-read my post. Fuck I love booze and skankies. Being right next to the university of Manitoba has been a blessing in disguise. I have a new love for this skuzzbucket city. I knew chicks in downtown toronto were whores but Winnipeg is overly slurry too. Just gotta be in the right hood. Edmonton girls can lick it. Damn ratios and wutnot. Anywhoo. Ppl don't love rusty for the words I spew. Moreso the spew that cums along with my smut. Less talk more rock

David S said...

No doubt the smut helps.

Librarian Mike said...

Uh, hey fellas. So I guess this is the place where people can get their nut, so they're on their best behavior over at ON. Count me in, if there's room (just don't tell my wife I'm here).

Dakin said...

You gotta pay the piper his toll before you partake....

Dakin said...

Librarian Mike:

You have it right though. Around here we usually follow this thread as well as the ON thread at the same time. Here you get to say what you feel, and then you go over to ON and translate it for the masses to read. Here is an example.

On JSBM-
"Oh my fuck BIG SEX just made my loins spontaneously combust. I want to have his children. Yes I would allow babies to shoot out of my dick hole if it meant that I got to take a sip of his holy manganays straight from the tap."

On Oilersnation-
"It is so nice to have Sheldon Souray back in the line-up. His booming shot from the point was sorely missed on the PP and he scares everybody with his Pure manliness. Damn he's sexy"

At Lowetide-
"Since 44 went down the Oilers' corsi/GFX60 to the power of Nine qual-comp divided by PI has seen a dramatic slide. It's good to have an "actual" NHL'er back in the line-up to handle the "toughs."

Librarian Mike said...

Dakin:

You forgot Eklund: "I'm hearing rumours about Souray being on the market (E4)

David S said...

Ha ha! Nice take on Lowetide
Travis....buuuuuuurrrrrnn!

In all seriousness, I read just about every article he posts. But holy man do those guys take themselves seriously.

Dakin said...

Oh for sure, don't get me wrong.... I read Lowetide religiously. I was just more or less making fun of myself for being a little in over my head for the most part when I am there.

Post a Comment

Tell us what you think