Guess Who's Back... Ummm... Hello? The Missing Piece of JSBM

Alright... I know. I haven't written fucking anything in a long time. So sue me. I've been living on an island, and Internet is expensive around here. Okay? Okay. I forgive you too. Don't think I don't see you all bad mouthing me to your neighbours. I see it. I can feel it, all the way from Thailand. So here I am with an update. Read it.

So I'm a dick. I promise you all updates when I'm traveling and I don't do it. So now that I've got some time, and it's raining, I'm going to tell some stories. I'll try to keep them quick and to the point, or they'll just ramble on for centuries. Let me tell you friends, what you're about to hear are the greatest tales in the history of the world. Either that or you'll be really bored.

Let me start by saying I'm still in Phi Phi. I still work at a bar, and I still get fucking rat ass drunk every single day. Awesome, no? Let me tell you something about Tiger Bar, they've installed a weekly segment called "Playboy Night" and it's basically us getting oiled up and stripping for the females. (Ask Jeanshorts, he can confirm the awful pictures) Let me tell you this about Playboy Night, there is not one dude in the bar. It's all females, and they all love oiled up boys in speedos.

What we do on Playboy Night is ram the bar with chicks and then strip for them at the end of the night. They go insane. In the bar we have camera phone video (which I'm trying to get my hands on) of girls getting fucked in the bathrooms, and giving blow jobs upstairs. This happens every single Monday gentlemen. Drunk sluts love oily men. It's as factual as gravity. It's a miracle of modern day science. Unfortunately for yours truly, I've been shackled down by a woman. I was only able to be a bad bad boy for one such Monday.

WHATTTTTT????

I know friends... I didn't expect it either. She's an Aussie girl with the sexual appetite of the JSBM Nation on Megan Fox Fridays. (Do we still do that around here?) I can't keep up with the girl. It's amazing. But worry not friends, that is not to say that I've been such a good boy. Before she came from a land down under, I scored kills with the English, the Irish, the Swedes, and other Aussies. It's been a freak parade for ol' baggedmilk in the past few months. As it sits now I am resting the gun somewhere between 25 and 30 kills. I will have to do the math.

Friends, this is my vow. I found a new place for the world wide web. I can access you all from anywhere on the planet. And they give me a discount. So I WILL start doing a regular segment from Thailand. I was just discussing this with Jeanshorts, and I have many stories to tell you all. Playboy Night was just a taste of the debauchery that takes play on Phi Phi Don Island. I want to tell it all. What I have coming for you in the upcoming days/weeks are tales of gun shots and fist fights, black eyes and public indecency. I will tell it all. Stay tuned.

-baggedmilk