Good morning everyone! How are we feeling this morning? So let me get this straight, it's Sunday, the game starts at noon, and it's on PPV? There's no way we can lose this one!
Once again this is a preemptive strike. I don't love you guys that much to get up at 10 or whatever to get this shit up. And I'm not even sure if I'm going to be around for this game. We've been shooting a movie all weekend and barring rain we're going to be back atter tomorrow. So if I'm not here I'm putting Davi....uhhh...Dak....ummm....Rus....no.....umm, okay well you're all just in charge or each other. Try not to burn the place down please.
Our mighty heroes take on the Thrashers of Atlanta on this fine November afternoon. With the return of Kovalchuck the Thrashers have been on fucking fire. Kovi has 7 points in 2 games since coming back, and the Thrashers are coming off an absolute ass raping of the Kings on Friday. Evander Kane is also having himself a nice little season, it's just too bad no one will ever know who the fuck he is as long as he's playing in Atlanta. I remember watching Kane play his first ever game for the Vancouver Giants. He was like 15, a Bantam call up during the playoffs. And he did not look out of place what so ever. I was hoping the Oilers would trade up in the last draft to try and take a stab at Kane, but you can't have your cake and eat it too I guess.
Kovalchuck becomes a free agent at the end of this season, and how fucking good would he look in an Oilers uni? I just ripped a hole in my pants thinking about it. Him and Hemsky would probably put up like 800 points between them. Please hockey gods, you've fucked us around for a long fucking time (aside from the 06 run). If you have any decency you'll make this happen. Thank you in advance.
The Oilers continue to be streaky as always, but at least they've finally strung together 3 games of consistent hockey. They've already gotten 3 more points on this road trip than I thought they would, and it's nice to finally see them play above my shitty expectations.
I really have no idea how to call this one fellas. The Thrashers have gotten pretty good goaltending, Kovalchuck, Afinagenov, Kane, Bogosian, etc are all firing pucks in the net for them, and they haven't really looked shitanusly bad like we're used to.
On the other side of the coin the Oilers PP looked like absolute shit against Buffalo, but they've finally started outshooting teams, and putting together as close to 60 minutes of hockey as we've seen all year. I think it's going to be a close one. If Khabby can continue to stand on his head this one might come down to a goalie duel.
jeanshorts prediction: Oilers 2 - Thrashers 1
GOILERS!
IQWT
P.S BIG SEXY MIGHT BE BACK IN THE LINE UP TODAY! I'm going to say my prayers tonight and finish all my vegetables, and maybe Santa will give us an early gift!
-jeanshorts
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Bonsignore Citizens Brigade: Oilers @ Thrashers
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65 Say Your Piece:
Great news fellas, to the surprise of absolutely no one it's raining in Vancouver! So no shooting today. HOCKEY!
*crawls back into bed*
Wake me up when the puck drops. Actually, wake me up right before Gene starts firing off puns.
I have some freedom right now for the next 3 hours or so to take a nap. So... the question is: Should I take that option or should I sit here and join in on the circle jerk.
I'm no fool.... See you guys midway through the second.
I thought about trying to go back to sleep after I found out I didn't have to be in Surrey this morning, but I guarantee I would have slept through the game. So here I am, kind of awake. I'm just going to apologize in advance for not making sense during the game.
I'm not all that tired right now actually, it's just that these opportunities are ones you don't miss. It's like if you jerk off and are ready to pass out and some woman comes along and wants to fuck right then... Some how you rise to the occasion. Never pass up the opportunity.
You know what I don't understand? Why two dudes would ever want to partake in double penetration. One in the front, one in the back I can understand, but when one is in the ass and the other in the clam, and they are like rubbing against each other through that little membrane, and their balls are clanging together. Or far, far worse, when they both stick it in the same hole. Ugh how can you do that?
*trying to derail the thread before the game even starts*
It would be even worse if she was short and the guys were basically stuck looking over her head and into each others eyes.... Like they are fucking each other!!!!
What if one guy cums and his pulsing dick vibrating through the thin membrane cause you to blow your load at the same time?
Holy fuck the mental picture.
*Looks towards the heavans ans really starts to wonder what the fuck would make him think of stupid shit like this. I mean seriously... When is it too far?*
haha. I always crack up/dry heave when there's more than one dude, and they're standing around to give the ol money shot, and one guy goes, and like some of his seed like lands on the other guy. Ugh. Those guys have some fucking iron wills let me tell you.
HAHA I think we've hit a new record for early thread derailing. This is like in journalism how you are supposed to catch peoples attention with the first couple of sentances... If anybody strolls by here they will be hooked.
Remember when Staios played forward for the Thrashers?
Yeah....
I'm imagining an amazing hockey game being played right now. I can't see one or hear one so I can just imagine. I'm also imagining that it is 1985. Go team.
Keep that dream alive.
And for your sake, please don't listen to, watch, or read about the shitacular, uhh, I mean, amazing first period.
I'm just hammering away on the internet trying to outsmart these damn IT guys blocking every possible means of me watch/listening to this god damn fucking game!!!! fucking hell damn you place that I work.
BURN THAT MOTHERFUCKER DOWN!!!
We scored by the way. Horcoff from Staios. 2 goats make a right I guess.
Two Goats make a... baby goat?
This place is really flammable and would be VERY newsworthy.
Okay seriously, soeone needs to let the boys know Khabby is old as fuck, and he can't make these amazing saves all year. He will literally fall apart. He heeds a little support here guys.
Sex. That play was pure sex.
Gilbert taking a hit and making a good play! WHAT THE FUCK?
atdhe.net has it listed as 'Edmonton Oilers vs. Edmonton Oilers'. If that isn't a theme for this year's team...
And yet, I'm sure they'd still find a way to lose.
Its the Dakin vs. Jeanshorts show!
Well boys, she's shaping up to be a typical Oilers game. Get up, then let 'em come back in the last minute of the period. Mother fucker.
Still, at least we're not getting ass fucked 7-1 or something. Not yet anyways.
That was the first time all year that the second period was better than the first.
Baby steps here boys.
Maybe by March we'll be able to hold onto a lead!
I don't want to sound like a cock or anything, but aren't you asking for it diving in to an above-ground pool? I mean, those things are like 4 feet deep.
Souray makes a HUGE difference.
Fuck's sake. My feed died. What's the score?
2-2 at the second intermission.
Actually third is probably just starting up, but the only feed any of us could find has died.
Thanks for the update. I'll let you know if I find a feed.
Did someone say Souray and HUGE?
http://www.justin.tv//hockey_live
BBBAAAACCCCCKKKKK
Oh Travis.
Right.....holy fuck is Souray back? *gets a chub*
Fucking moustaches. Nice butt fluff, Gagner.
Man I want to try and fit my wiener and balls in Crystal Legeriers mouth at the same time!
Can we do it together JS?
WE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT THIS!
Actually we just talked about the butt and the ham wallet. So, I guess that means the mouth is fair game.
Maybe if we rub them together hard enough we can start a fire and burn your work down!
You know, I think Pat Quinn was talking about the 'wiener/balls double down' thing in the pregame interview.
Remember guys, it's only gay if you make eye contact.
that last exchange was so awesome that I just don't even know what to say anymore....
It did get quiet all of a sudden...
Never cross the streams.
One piece of advice I will take to my grave.
*cough cough* "Good talk."
Hey where'd everyone go? I thought we were going to triple team this bitch?
FFFFUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
Fuck.
What the asshole? Kozlov gets his first of the year to break out of a slump. What a fucking surprise.
Poo Czar isn't around today, so there's no way it'll really get gay.
Oh. My. Fuck.
Kozlov. Its always Kozlov.
Yeah thanks to Jeanshorts for recognizing and brining attention to the fact that the Oilers are first in the league when it comes to helping out other teams. They seeem to make a point of it now. It goes all the way back to Gretzky breaking Howe's points record here....
What I remember about that night was that they stopped the game so they could hand Wayne-o a bunch of prizes. Then they started it up again and handed the game to the Kings.
I was so torn in those years.
It was such a fucking weird dichotomy. Everyone was so happy that Wayne broke the record, in the barn that he built. But it tied the game for the Kings way late in the third. So strange.
HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THAT BLONDE CHEERLEADING!
Although, I think it was the next time they played when they set a record for penalties. That was one of the best games I've ever seen. Just goonery from start to finish.
Seriously Sully. How do you miss a wide open net from 15 feet out? FUCK!!!!!
Seriously. How the fuck did that NOT go in??????
that game was fucking magical. EVERYBODY fought.
On a side note: Kudos to JS for his frequent use of the word "dichotomy" in the last two weeks. I fucking love that word because it is hard to grasp the concept of. I too use it a lot.
Fucking Sully is the most snake-bit player I've ever seen.
Seriously didn't that guy go through enough as a kid? You know, with getting beaten by his dad and all. What kind of cruel world is this?????
So much for the "vaunted" Oilers PP.
Good christ.
Nice pass to the corner Hemsky. Fucking shoot!!!!
Well, fuck. Get the fuck off the ice you guys.
Seriously. Ugh. Can't win at home, can't win on the road. They have started playing better and things can only go up with Souray back in the line up I'm sure.
It's just so god damn frustrating. They're spinning the tires but aren't going anywhere.
Ales Hemsky makes our PP worse.
There. I said it.
Maybe its time for new tires.
David!!!!!
*shakes fist vigourously*
*waits till everyone leaves the room and then slides his dick into said shaking fist*
This is so depressing. I guarantee if the Oilers are this horseshit at Christmas, Souray will force a trade. I bet he'll want to go to LA or some other west coast up-and-comer.
Plus, he'll be in the market for better trim than 'Marjorie at the Yellowhead Inn'.
Don't you ever say anything bad about Marjorie! She is one in a million!
Hmmm...
*Considers the downside of pissing off Dakin*
Ales Hemsky is the bestest player in the universe. I would bend over for him ANYWHERE.
Hey, I'm not hating. Nobody works a kielbasa onstage like her. I'm just saying that she's not young anymore, and Souray's a busy guy.
Okay, okay. Come on guys. Let's all put our collective karma together and use our forces of evil to get the Cowboys a win, and for an Eagles loss.
I really don't want to kill myself today, but if at least one thing doesn't go right I may have to look into it.
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