Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Bonsignore Citizens Brigade: Oilers @ Sabres


Is it just me, or has there been a shit ton of hockey so far in this first month? Not that I'm complaining, but I'm only one man! If only I had some compadres who also wrote for this here website........
Oh well, a boy can dream can't he?

The Oilers roll into the hell hole known as Buffalo, New York tonight. And I'll be dammed if our boys didn't string together 2 solid games in a row so far on this road trip. They've already gotten 3 more points out of it than I thought they would, so I sure as shit hope they keep this whole "let's try playing hard for once" thing going.

The Sabres though have been pretty hot all season. Hmm, so I just checked out their stats side by side, and the Sabres only have one more win than the Oilers. And they've played 4 less games. Seriously who the fuck makes the schedule? Do they just get a retarded guy to go in there and put stickers of team logos all over a calender? The Oilers seem to play every 2 days but the Canucks had like 9 days off a few weeks back? God dammit Gary! Anyway as I was saying Buffalo has been playing pretty well this season, up until the last couple games. They've dropped 3 of their last 4 and you all know what that means. Tonight is the night they break out of their slump and win a game! Seriously what is it with this fucking Oilers team? Need to score your first NHL goal? Play Edmonton! On a 9 game losing streak? Turn your fortunes around with an easy win against Edmonton! Haven't scored in 837 games? Just wait until Edmonton comes to town and you'll almost get a hat trick! Isn't that right Brendan Witt?

Look for my new man-crush Dustin Penner to continue manhandling the opposition in their own end. I'm calling a 3 point night for him tonight! We're still missing somewhere between 7 and 1230934280 players due to injury, but all the call ups have looked really good so far, so let's hope this trend continues.

The only bad thing about living on the West Coast is 7pm Eastern games. Seriously 4pm is no time to come home and watch hockey. It just feels unnatural. It's almost like a matinee game. How am I supposed to get liquored up before the puck drop? Fuck. And I don't want to cause mass hysteria, but, I correctly called the score of last nights game. Just my luck right? Fuck. Not tonight though! I'm stacking my odds!

jeanshorts prediction: Oilers 45 - Sabres -800. BOOK IT!

GOILERS!

IQWT

Oh and the game is on TSN tonight for once, thank fucking god. Wait, that means we get Pierre McGuire doesn't it? Fuuuuuccccckkkkkkkk.

-jeanshorts
Hatched by Jeanshorts And Baggedmilk at 4:00 PM
Labels: , , , , , , ,

94 Say Your Piece:

  1. LET'S FUCKING GO BOYS!!!!!!!

    I love how they always make it a point to put MacT on the panel during Oiler games. I'm surprised they don't stick him in a fucking Penner jersey.
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  2. Goalie battle going on tonight in Long Island.


    Where the fuck is everyone? Work Schmurk.
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  3. HOLY FUCK STAIOS! 2 huge plays in a row.

    My Goat and my Star are both making me look really stupid.
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  4. Wow. Helluva BCB you got going on here js. Maybe put out some punch and pie, see if that helps attendance.
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  5. You know, I'd write a few more of these here BCB's if I hadn't been burned 3 times now after writing a long kick ass intro only to have you beat me to the punch....
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  6. Well look who showed up to the party. Couple of fags huh?

    PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!!
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  7. *Gets in from "Schmurk". Turns on TV and computer. Checks ON/JSBM. Eyes blink*

    Holy fuck that JS is posting his ass off!

    *Visions of internet royalty cheques flooding JS' mailbox*

    God damn! Zack Stortini is becoming a goal mouth menace!
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  8. I won't. I was cooking supper for the family... you know... 5:00 start and all.
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  9. I know. I was like where the fuck is everybo...oh wait everyone has to, you know, get home from work, talk to their "families", eat "dinner". Whatever. Fuck you guys.
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  10. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!

    Well, I guess that's what happens when they get 30 scoring chances to the Oilers one.
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  11. On second thought, maybe I shouldn't say "ass" with Poo Czar and Dakin in the room.

    *sweatpants boners*

    Oh for fuck sakes. Every time I light up a comment those Buffalo cocksuckers pop one.
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  12. This is clearly one of those games where nothing fucking good is going to happen.
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  13. Is it just me or does our PP looks like it has some sexiness tonight?

    Nope. Hemsky gets stripped. Nothing to see here folks.
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  14. The PP has been good for the first minute, and then garbage for the second half.

    Well, that was clearly a penalty on Staios......
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  16. OH MY GOD ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????????
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  17. So I was just thinking how many stars that chick had on her face in JS' ON post. One star for every time...???

    I wonder if bingofuel was thinking about that one.
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  18. We really needed that one.
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  19. Well I made that picture and posted it all by myself.

    FUCK BINGOFUEL!

    Just kidding, love that guy.

    Seriously O'Sullivan I'm going to hug you for hours and hours if I ever see you because you need a god damn confidence boost.
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  20. Hooray for being in Winnipeg... At least I get to watch some hockey and booze out here. Oh, and there's a bad-ass slide at my hotel. Too bad I'm not 11 again.
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  21. Are the chicks still 11? That's all that really matters.
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  22. How did you hook that deal up with ON you sneaky fucker?
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  23. I'll find out soon once the Oilers make their triumphant comeback and I can go creep poolside. NOw that the Oilers have my full attention... SCORE SOME FUCKING GOALS!!!

    Jr. Big Sexy.. get to it.
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  24. Looks like the boys are going for the greasy goals tonight.

    Ahhh Dustin. Nice one man!
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  25. @Dakin

    Wanye pulled up to my house with a dump truck full of pennies. How could I say no????
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  26. Pleeeeaaaase goal!!! PLEEEEAAASSSEEE!!!!
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  27. haha now you have "deadlines" haha

    ABOUT FUCKING TIME SULLY!!!!
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  28. 1 too many passes.. Whoa.. nevermind WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! PATTY O!!
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  29. I'm pretty sure I just had a stroke, because it looked like O'Sullivan actually scored a goal.
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  30. O'Sully!

    Man we're working our nuts off. Hope we get something out of it.
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  31. Clearly you missed the first period.
    Or more precisely the last 10 minutes of the first period. It looked like regular, mediocre Oilers hockey.

    But they haven't played terribly in the second surprisingly.
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  32. So The guys are sayin' O'Sully has like 55 shots so far this year. Is his goal:shot ratio really like 1:55? Sheesh.

    Oh yay. Yet another "hits to the head" discussion.
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  33. I wonder if anyone has brought up the fact that not all players are the same height, and that some guys faces just happen to line up parallel to other guys shoulders?

    Also I'm definitely not getting sick of hearing about nothing but headshots.
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  34. Why are there what look to be cum stains on my TV? I'll need to write a note to the cleaning lady requesting she de-cum my TV. The weird part is the TV is on the other side of the room nowhere near any chairs or the bed. Fuck hotels are gross. Maybe it's just Winnipeg.
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  35. hahaha. Well what else are you going to do in a Winnipeg hotel other than cum all over the TV?
    Why change your routine just cause you're on the road?
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  36. I think they should talk about the Leafs. What are they up to lately?
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  37. Well, just going on the way my friend and my dad talk about them, I'm pretty sure they've just won the Stanley Cup.
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  38. I usually launch my Hotel loads on the curtains. Not sure if that's more or less classy...
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  39. Are you standing in the window with the curtains open while you're jerking it?
    Because then I'd definitely say classy.
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  40. Has anybody ever seen anybody else having sex in a hotel? like if you look out your window across to another room? or have your heard people banging down the hall?
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  41. Hey guys. I'm back. Just had to clean off my TV during the period break. I miss anything?
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  42. Depends on the view. Abandoned lot full of vagrants? Elementary school? Definitely standing.

    Ft. Mac? Crying in the dark, laying on the floor, arc it on the drapes.
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  43. There is this like long term stay hotel across the street from my building. And I've seen more than a few people banging it out in there. Blinds open, lights on. It's pretty sweet.
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  44. Hmmmmm TV or curtains... that is a tough call. A little bit of A and a little bit of B, I'd say.
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  45. Seriously guys I think I have pink eye. How the fuck does that happen? I wash my hands like 10 times a day and I'm pretty sure I didn't shit on my pillow.
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  47. My buddy got what looked like pink-eye and it turned out he had some sort of blister/herpes thing behind his eye. You may have eye-AIDS.
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  48. Eye AIDS??? IS THAT WORSE THAN REGULAR AIDS??? It has to be right? It has a noun in front of it. Swine Flu, worse than regular flu. Bird flu, worse than swine flu. Super SARS, worse than Mega SARS.

    Actually I usually get pink eye once a year for some reason, but I'm still always surprised by it. I got it super bad in grade 12 and it's never completely gone away.
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  49. Did Rusty stick his AIDS cock in or around your eye/face area???
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  51. Good hustle Strudwick. Fuck.

    Yeah I must have been in the same timezone as Rusty or something recently. That's the only way to explain this herpes looking mess on my face.
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  53. Why the fuck are Gilbert AND Pisani out there on the PK??????? They couldn't even combine to get the fucking puck out.
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  54. FUCK GILBERT! Only you could fuck up a 3 on 1. God dammit!
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  55. How many fucking times does Gilbert get a chance to clear the puck and end up shooting it RIGHT ONTO THE OTHER TEAM'S STICKS?????????
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  56. We're not going to beat this goalie with beauty shots 30 feet out in the high slot.
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  57. Yeah that wasn't blatant at all. Fucking Moreau.
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  58. WTF, Moreau with a penalty?!?! WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!?!?!
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  59. Y'know what'd be sweet? Goggles with a shorty...
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  60. Moreau penalties = game crushers
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  61. Gilbert.

    Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!
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  62. So uh... IamSam is kinda good looking....
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  63. I'm still skeptical about it. But yeah if that's her, BONER!
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  64. What the fuck man. The one time Gilbert finally decides to play physical he takes out a guy no where near the puck.
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  65. Looks normal... not TOO hot so it's believable.
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  66. NO WAY is that a girl. Sorry fellas.
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  67. Yeah like I said I'm a skeptic. And her horrible typing and nonsense sentence aren't helping anything.
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  68. Fuck that was pretty fucking brutal.

    They should all get on the ice in a prayer circle like those kids in the OHL after that one kid died from turning his back to a hit.
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  69. Beware internet avatars. The hotter they look the hotter they aren't.

    Reddox??? Whew. No biggie. Thought it was 83 for a minute there.

    BUT WE GET 5 GLORIOUS MINUTES ON THE PP!!!!!!!!
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  71. Hey David S, by that logic, all of us must be complete stunners. Except for Dakin. That guy is an internet hoax.
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  72. When that Lambadias kid or whatever crushed that other kid into the boards and the kid was in critical care. He didn't actually die, but I just like to blow things out of proportion.

    But when that kid was laying on the ice waiting for the stretcher both teams got on the ice into like prayer circles or some shit.
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  73. I'm pretty sure Dakin isn't even real. He's used by some guy in the Congo to try and steal all our information.
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  75. If we don't win this with that much PP time, Pat Quinn is going to have a stroke.
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  76. OH MY GOD SULLY!!!!! God dammit. Fuck man.
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  77. O'Sully - post.

    Oh. My. Fuck.
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  78. HURRRRRY UP AND SCORE! Do they realize there's less than a minute left?
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  79. Yeah but thank god it's only the second period.


    WHAT?????

    *passes out*
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  82. Sheldon Souray cannot come back soon enough.

    That is all.
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  83. The good thing is that only the PP looked pants shittingly bad tonight. Good sign I think.
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  84. I hate to say it, but the PP looked WAAAAY better without Hemsky on it.
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  85. David... You shut your fucking mouth about my boy. If it looked bad it's because everybody else fucked up.
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  86. It's probably a little skewed, considering by any measure Ryan Miller is way better than Craig Anderson, but I will say this; things looked WAY more simple and seemed to work way better without Hemsky spinning in circles on the hash marks looking for a perfect pass to the player standing on the back door.
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  88. @Jeanshorts:

    x2.

    Sorry Travis.
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  89. I hate you guys. Next you're going to try and tell me that Sheldon Souray isn't a colossal man mountain of awesomeness. That he does't make your pants explode off your body because your dick gets too hard too fast every time he adjusts his jock.... That he doesn't makes you question wether or not you'd give up a night with 72 virgin 18 year old women for one hour with him.. You guys are crazy.
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  90. Which comedien has that joke about Muslims, and how they're fucking stupid for wanting to fuck 100 virgins when they get to heaven. How it would be so messy and unsexy and they'd all be crying and shit.
    So clearly I'd take an hour with Big Sex.
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  91. Whoa there Travis. Just whoa.

    Souray?

    Too far man. Too far.
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  92. haha I don't think there is anything in the world that sounds better than an hour with Big Sex.
    ReplyDelete
  94. Where's a JSBM smokebomb® when you need one?
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