Fast Forward To The 50 Second Mark
If that shit right there doesn't motivate Mike Comrie to go out and score 5 goals and beat up a few guys then I don't know what will. Speaking of Mike Comrie, the Oilers are in the nations capital tonight to take on his former team in the Senators.
The Senators have been playing just as mediocre as the Oilers this season, but they don't have the injury excuse to fall back on. What's going wrong in Ottawa? I have no idea. It looks like the departure of Dany Douchebag is making a difference on the scoreboard, which isn't surprising, but unfortunately for Sens fans, as positive as they tried to be in the offseason after the Heatley trade, it's pretty clear they got hosed, and hosed big time. Milan Michalek has been doing alright, leading the team in goals with 7, but just as I predicted Johnathon Cheechoo has completely shit the bed and has managed to put up a Robbie Schremp-esque 2 points in 14 games.
The Sens other big acquisition came last year in the form of Pascal Leclaire, and it looked like the Sens finally had a clear starter between the pipes for the first time since Dominick Hasek rolled through down on his retirement tour. I don't know if it's the team in front of him that's been sucking bag or what, but from the little I've seen this season Leclaire has looked spotty and inconsistent. One game he'll be standing on his head, making great save after great save, and the next game he'll left in 5 goals. Let's all use our collective karma and hope that Leclaire is on a down swing tonight.
The Oilers played well against the Av's on the Sunday, playing as close to a full game as they have for the last 3 weeks or so. Although they gave up a shit ton of shots in that second period, but what else is new. Seriously what is it about the second period that makes this team shit the bed 9 out of 10 times? Are they thrown off having to go the other way? Fuck man, if this team can start stringing together full 60 minute efforts they'll slowly start to dig themselves out of this giant hole they're presently in.
There's still a shit ton of injuries obviously. Apparently Taylor Chorney's mustache could only help him so much because he's out with a bummed ankle, but it looks like Smid is drawing back in which is fucking nice. Steve Statios, who I stand by as my pick for Goat this year, has been playing really well in his first 2 games back. It's probably just the fact that the rest of the D outside of Smid and Vish have looked like absolute garbage, but it's been nice having someone back there that isn't afraid to block a god damn shot and has the ability to clear the puck out of his own zone. Ryan O'Marra is getting the call tonight, and if he plays anything like Potulny and Reddox did on Sunday we should be in good shape. Speaking of Potulny I hope he continues to impress, and maybe eventually we can get rid of some dead weight on the bottom 6. Someone, hmm, I don't know, maybe an Italian kid that grew up cheering for the Oilers? Look I fucking love Fernando Pisani. And he's had horrendous luck with injuries so I'm still willing to give him a pass for a few more weeks. But if he doesn't get back into game shape soon we have to cut the chord. It is nice to see the kids from the farm coming up and making an impact, no? Who says we don't have depth!
*please god don't make us call up anymore Falcons, PLEASE!*
The last Oilers game I went to was on December 30th, 2008. JSBM arrived in style to watch our mighty Oilers take on a Senators team that was on a 7 game losing streak or something ridiculous. We should have known the night was a write off when someone kicked the cord out of the wall and they couldn't get the lights to come back on for well over 40 minutes. The only silver lining was that we ended up crushing about 5 RX1 beers before the puck even dropped. Liam Reddox scored 2 goals and the Sens, surprise surprise, ended their losing streak with a 5-2 win over Edmonton or something like that. I don't remember I was pretty smashed.
Moral of the story is the Sens are probably going to win tonight. But anything is possible right KG? They surprised me last game and I'm hoping for two in a row.
jeanshorts prediction: Oilers 3 - Sens 4. That's right, I'm trying reverse psychology on this one.
GOILERS!
IQWT
-jeanshorts
Posts
134 Say Your Piece:
Its the Oilers. They have a habit of breaking opposing teams out of slumps, so 4-2 Sens. Cheechoo with 2.
Good. Now that I've said that, the Oil will prolly win in a walk-away.
Aaaand its a god damn PPV. Again. Fuck.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
This Penner guy is pretty good huh?
Now seriously, WHERE THE FUCK CAN A GUY GET A FUCKING INTERNET FEED!!!!
What do you know, I shit on Cheechoo and he scores his first goal. Maybe I should start shutting the fuck up more.
HOLY SHIT WE OUT SHOT SOMEONE!!!!1
Internet feed:
http://www.justin.tv/nhl_live
Click on the little box in the lower right side. Full-screen goodness. Looks like a decent feed too.
Seriously I'm buying you a hooker when I come back into town. LOVE YOU!
Its a fucking great feed hey? Somebody is keeping the Oilers lawyers busy tonight.
That great thing is right before I saw you posted that, I stepped out of the bathroom just in time to hear Tencer say "It's not some kind of cash grab. It's so all the games can be on TV". Okay. 16 PPV games isn't a way for them to make extra money, hmmm.
If it wasn't a cash grab they wouldn't be 30 bucks a piece.
That was on Gilbert. Holy shit that guy is soft. Buttah soft.
I think it was more on Brule, watching Foligno skate to the net.
Although I do like Brule a lot more than Gilbert. So, yes. FUCK YOU GILBERT AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL QUAFF OF HAIR!
Holy shit someone outside of Edmonton playing Cotton Eye Joe????? Is that allowed???
If it wasn't a cash grab, the Oilers would have some of the blackout games on their site like they did in pre-season.
Well, that is if they gave a shit about their fans 1% as much as they SAY they do.
Brule. Glbert. Same thing.
TRADE BAIT FUCKERS!
And I was talking to my buddy on the phone in the first and he was telling me that advent of NHL PPV's basically came about during the dark "Save Our Oilers" campaign or whatever when the team was hemorrhaging money. And they found out they could charge people for a few PPV games and that helped alleviate some of the money problems. But now it's just fucking out of hand.
Are we winning the ice hockey contest??
I see we are not. Fuckers.
Well we're not losing. So, PROGRESS!
If Chris Neil scores I'm going to punch a hole through my own face.
Fuck Penner - O'Sullivan is looking pretty damn nice tonight. Seriously how awesome is Penner? He's making everyone on his line look good every game.
Anyone else think the Hobgoblin looks like the "rape-y" Russian henchman from a second rate 80's cold war action movie???
He looks like every bad guy from Eastern Promises.
Or any Russian MMA fighter I've ever seen. They all have that weird face and nose combo.
And those fucks man, they are ugly as sin but they have so many ridiculously hot Russian broads to choose from because they don't know any better.
*starts flipping through a Russian Mail Order Bride book*
Eastern Promises - Best naked fight ever. And that weird pointing at his throat maneuver? No idea what the fuck that meant, but that shit was intimidating as hell.
God, Russian chicks are AMAZING.
Look at the fucking hands on Penner! I pretty much can't leave Alberta after Christmas without a Penner jersey in my suitcase.
Anyone see the chat feed to the right of the game? Sweet fuck. Between old perverts trying to jack off to a fucking hockey game, I spotted this gem:
"fisher is a dumb christian"
haha fuck Justin TV is fucking sweet.
Sometimes a bunch of my buddies will get together, and we'll get smashed and go onto the channels where it's just people sitting in front of their computers. And we'll try and get them to do weird shit and if they don't we just start talking shit to them. And they take it way too seriously. Amazing.
Agreed with the love of Penner. I can relate to a smartass beer swilling doanir lover who just doesn't like working hard or living up to potential.
What the shit is this justin tv? I'm a first-timer over there...
It basically started out as an Asian dude attatching cameras to himself and bringing a laptop everywhere so he could "life cast". Literally people would just watch him go about his daily business and shit. And then somehow it turned into what we have now, with people streaming movies and TV and sports and shit.
But there's still people that "life cast" and just sit in front of their computer with the webcam on and talk to strangers. It's fucking weird, but awesome.
That sounds horrific. Unless one was terribly stoned. Which explains your affinity.
*realizes it's a 2 man party in here now, removes pants and pours gravy in lap, hoping Dakin won't mind*
haha yeah when my friend first showed me how he would go and fuck with people I was like, ugh, this is so lame, why are we still doing this. And then after a few beers it started to become more fun, and once you find someone who will either do everything you ask them to, like put weird shit on their heads or whatever, or find people that will fucking argue with you and shit it starts to become really fun.
And again beer really, really helps.
Don't be dissing justintv. Without it we'd be huddling around the radio like in the days of the Wiserhood. That or getting shit-faced drunk at the bar on a Tuesday night. Hmmm....not bad idea. Not bad idea at all.
And yeah. Those Russian bride sites are OUT OF CONTROL!
You crazy kids with your wacky internets! I'ma bookmark it and fuck around in there, JSBM style. See if I can get someone to stick a carrot in their ass.
Well, some of us don't work tomorrow (thanks soldiers!) so I'll be getting drunk like a married man - with Presidents Choice beer in my basement.
"Ninja Assasin". Ha ha!
*Strokes chin in deep thought* Hmmm...might be good.
A few people I know saw it at VIFF a few months back and said it was pretty awesome.
And it's those Wachowski fucks, and if there's one things those dudes know how to do it's shoot ridiculous action scenes!
Further insight from the justintv game chat:
"Kadri going to the same Mosque as 3 of the 9-11 Terrorists"
Fuck, this is awesome.
Fuck you Poo Czar. You and your "don't work tomorrow" shit. Fuck I hate you guys.
*Wonders how well he can pull off "How about I take today off, hit it hard tomorrow and rock the presentation on Friday."*
Its a a Wachowski brothers film? Aren't those guys the idols of film biz guys like you JS?
Sorry Mr. S. If it makes you feel better I'll sleep in until just before the moment of silence, just like me Grandpappy would have been disgusted with. Shit, I think I'm gonna play Call of Duty all day tomorrow!
Fuck you third man on the Sportsnet panel.
They penalize people for slashing and cross checking and hitting from behind but all that shit happens EVERY FUCKING GAME.
You aren't going to get rid of these freak concussions just by making it a penalty.
Fuck I hate these fat fuck reporters who have never played a game in their life preaching about how they need to change this and need to change that.
RE: Ninja Assasin: It was directed by the guy that directed V For Vendetta, and produced by the Wachowski's. And the director is butt buddies with the Wachowski's and shot a bunch of shit with them for all the Matrix movies and stuff.
And, I mean I guess they are pretty sweet. They do make movies for a living right? But outside of the first Matrix all their movies have been garbage.
Wow, Sportsnet is gonna milk the fuck outta this Danton shit.
To be fair to the Wojechowheskiskichoski Bros, Speed Racer was an underrated good time. 'Course I was high off my tits, so that probably helped considerably.
Yeah, I actually haven't seen that one yet, but the only way I'd be able to watch it is if I was under the influence of something. I'm sure then it would be kick fucking ass!
I just hate the second and third Matrix movies. They were so bad.
You might as well let the hitting thing go before you blow a headshot yourself.
Man. Those rolling comments at justintv are freaking hilarious.
Did that Speedy Glass guy just say "Did you see this shit?"
Matrix 2 and 3 were such a letdown. It's like they stole George Lucas' handbook on how to fuck up an unfuckupable franchise.
NERD TALK!!!
More giveaways at our own blue line! Fuck yeah!
Moreau passes to Staios and the puck comes out of the zone. WHO THE FUCK WOULD HAVE CALLED THAT ONE??
I can't even read those comments on JustinTV anymore. At first I laughed, but now I see they're just idiots. And not the good kind of idiot like I am.
It's a competition of who can be the most retarded one in the room.
And most of them have no idea they're playing.
Seriously don't they teach computer shit starting in elemntary school? I know I learned it way back then.
Why people still tawk lyke dis u fckn faggot nigger, is beyond me.
FFFUUUUCCCCKKKK COGS. Beauty wheels though.
COGS! Last year that woulda been in!
LOOSEN UP MAN!!!!!!!
Holy fuck! ITS A CHANCE-O-RAMA!!!!!!!!
These fucking guys man. They need to throw all these snakbitten guys (cogs and sully mostly) into a room and let them fight it out until they finally get those god damn monkey's off their backs.
Like Dakin said - those are big monkeys.
Is it too early to officially declare Cogs as Todd Marchant2.0? Cuz that shit looked all too familiar...
Ha! Big monkeys. He killed that one.
I'm calling O'Marra with the game winner right now!
And fuck Cogs needs to use those rocket boots far more often.
I'm stunned that O'Marra was called up. Didn't that fucker get sent to Stockton last year? Anyone who wasn't good enough to make last year's Falcons team that is currently playing for the Oil fucking terrifies me.
Well, a solid 50% of Oilers fans last year wanted to tie Penner to the front of a train and run him out of town last year, and now those same people are lining up to suck his dick. So, a lot can happen over a summer!
Huzzah for Steroids!!!
Least surprising chat line so far:
"I have been banned by HF boards like 20 times"
"he's rubbed off by Grebeshkov." we could all be so lucky.
haha I just saw all that HF boards discussion. I literally looked at that place once for about 2 minutes and I have never went back. It was that fucking bad.
Poo Czar are you talking on there as FalconsOilers or whatever? Because I like the cut of that guys jib!
I too once visited HF, looking for news on trade deadline day. NEVER AGAIN.
aswlhjfkjhl;ljkhasgFUCK
FUCK YOU CHRIS NEIL!!!!
Yeah that's definitely a good goal while Neil is sitting on JDD's chest. FUCK YOU.
Not me my friend. I can barely type, let alone chat.
Don't you have to go punch a hole in your face?
Rlmfsdklm mufdsmlkmsd flimefhipm.
*thats my impression of me talking with an imploded face*
Seriously. Fucking unreal. Okay so he got pushed into JDD at first, but that doesn't explain why he was still laying on him and falling all over him.
He has a well documented amorous affinity for Goatfaced Frenchman. As such, it's legal.
Somebody wearing a black jersey better get their fucking teeth knocked out of their mouth before this one is over.
JDD has been weak and tentative this period. That one had the stench of inevitability on it. Too bad because I thought we were playing a decent road game so far.
This would be a good time for Penner to rise up and take over this game.
WWWHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!
Have you seen the lineup? It's like a spoiled 6 year old's peanut butter sandwich - lacking crust my friend.
The only way anyone loses teeth is if they trip in Gilberts hair.
GGOOOOOAAALLLL!!!!
Brule! i've always had faith in him (don't look back at any previous posts)
At least JDD didn't let in a goal like that!
And that my friends, is what we like to call Karma.
Fuck. Yes.
Brule's Snakeskin 'stache is working wonders. I hope these kids keep them shits all damn season, Anderson/Fuhr/Huddy style.
For the record, Creme Brule is my star for the year. DOOOO IT GILBERT!
No shit. Chorney was on one of those lame ass Oilers.com fluff pieces and he was saying how his pops had a picture from when he played for the Pens, and like half the team had sick, Dave Babytch-esque staches and how he thinks the boys should bring those back. I'm all for it!
Clouston looks like he takes it high and hard.
Is it kinda sad that I'm glad Hobgoblin won't be in net for the final minute? Fucker's been snakebit this year.
LOOK HOW GOOD GATOR LOOKS! He looks like fucking what's his fuck from that shitty Wolverine movie!
WE STILL LOVE YOU GATOR!!!
Yeah Sully, awesome. Instead of going around the other side of the net where no one is, why not turn around and try and throw it in front while 4 Sens stand there.
You're making me look fucking stupid!
ha! one guy there said Jason Smith is "retireded". That's pretty good - especially for that group.
HOLY SHIT! Strudwick with two plays to save goals, two games in a row! What the fuck is going on???
Sudden Victory? What the fuck is this, Fox Sports? It's sudden fucking death you cunt.
Why the shit was Potulny taking that draw??? Seriously, someone needs to see if Adam Oates wants to earn some of that money he was willing to give back...
It still gives me a hard on that Stortini has more goals than Spezza.
Just exactly what the fuck is Potulny doing taking the FO in our zone with 1.6 seconds left?
Are the Oil outshooting someone for the second time this year??? Holy shit!
Umm, O'Sullivan, Gagner, Cogliano, Comrie, O'Marra, and umm, Penner were all tired?
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT! I'm all for letting the boys play but come the fuck on. That's a clear penalty.
That was holding on Cogliano - FUCKERS!
Sick effort by Penner.
If there was some kind of all-skating league where nobody had sticks, Cogs would be a perennial allstar. As it sits, he's Marchant.
Staios with a pass off the boards to himself!
How sweet would it be for Comrie to get the winner?
And then he kicked down my door and we had a threesome with Hilary Duff, but eventually we kicked Hilary out and it was just us!
Wait, that was a dream I had.
Nevermind.
*fap fap fap*
Hey garbage Sens fans, stop fucking booing everytime one of your players get touched. Your team has been hooking and holding the Oilers all OT. Let it go.
Y'think the Sens fans are wishing they had Penner instead of Cheechoo right now?
Any idea how Le Baaaaa is in shootouts?
Well if he's as consistent in the shootout as he is in the rest of the game, we got a good shot!
Comrie in the SO? That would be sweet, sweet revenge.
I CALL ON THE POWER OF THE 'STACHES!!!
Storts looks fucking killer with that porn/trucker stache.
Prove Papa wrong Sully!
Here we go Sully. Do papa proud.
WWWHOOOO!!!!!!!
Wooo!
Le BAAAAAA!!!
Oh god JDD.
That was brutal by JDD. Nice move by Kovi, but fuck.
God dammit.
Penner looks better driving to the net with a dman draped over him. That just looked awkward.
FUCK COMRIE! You were supposed to score there to make it a storybook ending!
Well, that was a balls move L'il Brick
FUCK YOU SPEZZA! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!
Fucking Goat! LE BAAAA!!!!!
I'm sorry man. JDD look shitanus in that SO.
Man, is it just me or did JDD look uninterested the entire game? Like he just didn't give a fuck that he was even playing.
Winning goal goes in off his fucking junk. That's Goateriffic stuff right there.
Plus side - 3 out of 4 points so far on road trip with Falcons lineup
Minus side - JDD
JDD looked 10 shades of bad tonight. Maybe he's got the flu or something, but holy shit did he reek.
He looked like he thought it was practice or something. Even the Ottawa color guy was talking about how disinterested he looked. But he tried to spin it like he was all cool as a cucumber or some shit.
I guess he's not used to playing more than 2 games in a season.
Atta boy Poo Czar. Always looking on the bright side. Sexual side too I suppose. Heh heh.
Regardless, we walk out of the building with a point so that's cool.
Holy fuck boys. I don't want to alarm anyone, but I called the score! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON TONIGHT? Is it a full moon or something? Jesus Christ.
Maybe we should put Reddox in net. At least he gives a shit. Better than leaving one like JDD.
*Scrolls up to top of page*
Jeeeezuz. JS DID call the score.
*Backs off slowly, throws down patented JSBM mini smoke bomb® and slinks away, cowering in fear*
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