Look how happy we were at one point!I want to take you guys back to a couple weeks ago. Oct. 22. Rexall Place. The Oilers are down 4-1 half way through the second period. Well wouldn't you know, our heroes came back, scored 5 unanswered goals, and Penner and Hemsky finished the night with 5 points a piece. Those were good times. Great times even. The Oilers had won 5 of their last 6 and looked to be picking up steam. That is until the next game, when everything got derailed. Since that game the Oilers have lost 9 of 11, and have looked mediocre at best, for the most part. I still have some hope left though friends. Over the last 3 games the Oilers have finally started competing, playing close to 60 minutes of competitive hockey, and have been consistently out shooting teams (just, you know, disregard the fact they're 0-3 when out shooting teams. Fuck). Sure things look bleak and shitty right now but at least there are positives to take of the last few games.
The Oilers roll through Ohio tonight, looking to right this ship against the Blue Jackets.
Steve Mason got fucking shelled the other day against Detroit, and hasn't been playing like the Calder winner we saw last year. I really hope he doesn't turn into another Andrew Raycroft, cause I really like this kid, and I'm just going to chalk it up to the dreaded sophomore slump. But man he's been inconsistent this season. So thankfully, with Mason's up and down performances the Jackets are starting their back up goalie tonight. What? Who's their back up? Fuck sakes. Well looks like it's going to be another goose egg for the Oilers.
Seriously though if this team doesn't figure out how to run a fucking power play, and soon, they are not going to win many games from here on out. The last two games the power play has been fucking painful to watch. Dakin you might want to cover your ears here, but fuck man, someone needs to tell Hemsky he's 19 spins along the half boards followed by trying to pass the puck through a 5 sticks and a 1 inch hole just isn't working anymore. Every team in this league is just going to let him spin around in circles at the hash marks because he's not in a position to get a good shot off, and they can worry about clogging up the passing lanes. IT'S NOT FUCKING WORKING! Remember the Colorado game last week? When the Oilers scored like 5 goals on the power play? WITHOUT HEMSKY. Look, he's clearly nothing but good for this team, but the power play unit as a whole has to keep moving the puck around, and moving themselves around. That's going to open up shooting lanes. Not trying to force a cross ice pass for a one timer. Teams have figured that shit out. They're on to us. They're crafty like that.
The Blue Jackets don't have a stellar record either, but they are playing more like I hoped the Oilers would be. They're 5-3-2 in their last 10 and they're keeping pace with both Detroit and Chicago. I guess it helps when you've got a legitimate franchise player and have good depth down through the rest of the team. I wonder what that's like.
If the Oilers win tonight, they'll head back home with 5 out of a possible 10 points on this road trip, which isn't great, but isn't terrible either. Really I wouldn't have been surprised if they had only gotten 2 points. So if they show up at Rexall with 5 points going into a 5 game home stand I think we'll be okay.
jeanshorts prediction: Oilers 4 - Jackets 2.
GOILERS!
IQWT
-jeanshorts
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120 Say Your Piece:
Brigade up and running with plenty of time to spare. ;)
GOOILERS!!!
YAAAAAA Stortini!!!!
YAAAAAA Strudwick!!!!
So I completely lost track of time, and booted up a game of NHL10. Then during the second period I was like, huh, wait, what time was the game at again?
OHMYGODIMMISSINGIT!
Thankfully it looks like I haven't missed much.
God it's good to have Big Sex back.
I hope he manhandles Nash tonight the same way he manhandles me in my dreams!
Just got home from work. I think my feed's all fucked up because all I see is Joey in a Home Hardware commercial...
I'm not going to lie, I ended up going back and finishing my NHL10 game through most of that period. But the last 6 minutes or so that I saw were pretty fast paced. Nice to fucking see.
That was a good 1st period. Did you at least win?
I did. I'm in the second round of playoffs in my Be A Pro. And we had just gone up by one in the second. So I really didn't want to lose the momentum.
My fave was NHL '02. The commentators were hilarious, and it featured "Librarian Mike" in my rookie campaign. I scored 104 goals as a rookie, and made Ethan Moreau into a 40 goal scorer.
...and I was a defenseman.
haha. Yeah. I still do that sometimes, but I've slowly started cranking up the difficulty and making it more realistic.
But really though, how am I supposed to bang Megan Fox if I'm a third liner chipping in 25 goals a year? I need to bring it like Gretzky!
I don't know how much of a puck bunny Megan is, but Elisha Cuthbert seems pretty eager to give it up for mongoloids, so being a third liner isn't so bad. *wonders if she lets him wear his helmet in the sack*
Actually, Dion probably makes her wear one too. I'll bet he's a big donkey puncher...
Seriously, how any woman finds Dion Phaneuf attractive is beyond me.
HOLY FUCK. Khabby is standing on his old ass head!
Seriously is anyone still complaining about signing him? Maybe in like a year or two we can complain, but fuck man he's been the only constant so far outside of Penner.
1 shot in 5 minutes for the Oilers. Nice. Back to the original game plan I see.
SERIOUSLY!!!! Fuck man the reffing is absolute shit, both ways, tonight. I guess you can't play defense anymore.
Nice play Moreau. Awesome. Definitely earning the C once again.
FUCK you thecpatainethanmoreau. Could you be further away from our own net? ...Fuck...see? Stop taking penalties...retire!
Give an assist to the refs and Moreau on that PP goal.
http://www.boycevoice.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/goat-know-your-goat.jpg
Cassie Campbell pisses me off so much. I used to think she was pretty sweet, until someone thought it was a good idea to put her on TV. Now I just want to punch her in the throat.
@ LM
Moreau is the Pin Bone.
...donkey punch...her in the throat?
What do you know, they shot the puck on the fucking net on the power play and they got a goal. Although Hemsky probably should have passed the puck like 14 more times there instead of shooting.
I think the fact that he didn't do that cute circle move 12 times threw off the CBJ defensemen. Yay, Penner!
OH MY GOD KHABBY!!!!!
*starts shooting loads like Spider Man all over the room*
I fucking hate those assholes three or 4 rows up from the glass, that stand up and wave at the camera. Okay budddy, we get it. You're at the game and you want your dickhead friends to see you. Sit the fuck down.
Sometimes I wish it was legal to kill people based on their stupidity.
You mean it's not? Oh-oh.
*sees a douchebag stand up as the puck goes into the zone* Oh, good call JSBM. *Reconsiders stance on Eugenics*
the Kyp man? Come on Kevin Quinn. Stop trying to be cool. Just call the fucking game.
Time for the wisdom of kypreos and maclean....
Horcroff? MacLean you fucking mouth-breather.
OK, I want an fucking iphone aleady, stop teasing me!
RAMP IT UP!!!!!
That makes more sense. I thought they said ratch it up.
Hey, I found a bigger goat than Moreau:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfEWg9nkeqQ
No one will ever be as sweet as pronouncing names as Grapes.
Bieska
Kabarlee
Chaira.
Fuck I can't think of some of the other ones. But man he's awesome.
Goddammit Sully. I could have scored that motherfucker, and I can't even skate!
If I was Sully I'd be breaking my sticks on the bench after every shift. God dammit that's got to be even more frustrating for him than it is for us.
How can he shot 5 times harder in a shootout then during the game???
Hemsky with the D!
All right guys. Get Sully on the point and we're as good as up 2-1.
Fuckya!!!!Vish!
Fuckin eh boys.
So let me get this straight. Rather than trying to do nothing but cross ice one timers, the Oilers started throwing pucks on net and they've gotten 2 powerplay goals? WEIRD!
Sestito's playing? Uh oh.
God it's so fucking nice to have Big Sex back.
And not just for the eye candy!
Souray's playing great tonight. 2 points...all he needs to do to get the 'Souray hattrick' is beat the other team's toughest guy up and teabag him when he's bleeding on the ice.
Holy shit! 2-1 already! That must have been one helluva first per...
*silence*
*rummages pockets for that last JSBM mini smoke bomb*
WHO THE HELL SAID THAT?????
GHOST!!
I am going to KILL Liam Reddox.
FUCK. Stupid tipped goals, all season long. Not Cool.
REDDOX!*single tear runs down MacT's face*
Special Teams are making the difference for both teams. Unreal. Uncle Gary must be loving all the power play goals tonight. It really shows who the better team is........
Who are these guys in white shooting the shit out of the puck?
WHY THE FUCK does Hemsky only play with this kind of piss and vinegar against the Jackets?
I'm surprised there aren't more Oilers related deaths every year. The way this team flip flops can't be good for anyone's heart, and the amount of broken ankles from jumping off and on the bandwagon has to be astronomical.
BTW JS, your pre-game write-ups are getting pretty fucking good.
What I meant to say was 'Great save, Khabby!' *gets nervous*
Oh sweet it's game time! Alright it's going to be a gooder tonight... wha.... it's ... wait, what the fuck is happening? I'm on night shift now.
Well, thank you. I've been trying to find actual stats and shit, rather than just writing "Columbus fucking suck but Edmonton has been sucking more lately. Nash is a fag," etc.
Ahhh, the infamous Moreau blind behind-the-back-leading-to-an-opposition-break pass.
Classic stuff.
Don't be harsh. Moreau totally nailed that pass once in 2001.
What the fuck, is this garbage behind the back pass shit contagious? Brule with the same boner! Fuck boys, LOOK WHERE YOU'RE PASSING!
Yeah JS, I was expecting to come here and jump right into the thread but instead I had to read for five minutes first. It appears you have a lot more free time these days.
And breath....
What? Nash ISN'T a fag?
@Dakin
This one kind of got away from me today. I was like, shit what am I going to write about? And then 15 minutes later I have 800 paragraphs. It happens. It's like mental diarrhea. Once it gets going it's hard to stop it.
Travis - I had the same embarrassing thing to. Fucking goddamn work.
And retarded 5:00 starts.
OT. Souray will get the winner....with his cock!
OT Prediction: Big Sex sticking in the back of the goal.
What, are you two sitting in the same hotel room together or something?
Fuck me. Penner looks...fast!
@ JS
It's kind of like coming up with an idea for a post here. A whole lot of nothing and then an idea will come and it just wont stop pouring out.
Alright Cogs, time for a little of your patented OT magic!
David S said...
Fuck me. Penner looks...fast!
Well that's a fuck of a lot better than Penner looking FAT eh? eh?.... YA!
AAAAARGH. Phew.
What a fucking game!!! HOLY SHIT BALLS!
Damn, Smid is looking good out there.
Remember when Smid was the shitty one and Grebeshkov looked like the future? What a difference a summer can make!
Ok I want a shot by shot of the shoot out.... CAN SOMEONE DO THIS FOR ME???
Shoooooot Ooouuuuuuut!!!!!
Oh wait. Garon.
Fuck.
Phewwwwww! Was that OT like 30 seconds long?
Another fucking buzzer goal. WHAT THE FUCK?!? DO YOU WANT ME TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK OR SOMETHING?
So I'm just going to go ahead and predict a loss from this shootout. Fuck.
@David S
Shit, forgot about that.
@ Mike - Yeah. I was just thinking that Smid is looking pretty damn solid. Maybe even...sexy?
Funny... I was just thinking that Souray was looking pretty solid....
I'm here all night folks.
Fuck I'm nervous about Nash. He's due for one tonight.
Huselius comes in real slow, tries to make 100 moves and then takes a backhand from the goal line. No goal!
Was he trying to deak out the blue line?
Fuck.
Sully comes in, makes a decent move but the puck flips up and he barely gets a piece of it.
Sully with another great shot right into the goalie's pad. What a sniper...
FUCK.
Tyutin comes in slow and puts one through the wickets.
1-0 BJ;s
Tyutin in the 5 hole (that's what she said)
Penner loses the handle and the hash marks. BRUTAL.
Rick Nash coming up. Fuck.
Seriously?
Mike: Comment of the night!
Penner got caught thinking about food...
Nash shoots it right in the crest. Khabby keeping this one alive!
HEMSKY SCORES!!!!!
We're going to extra shooters!!!
Garon psychs out shooters. You should see how fucking far he comes out to challenge. You gotta be at a game to appreciate it. I'm surprised they never show it on TV.
HEMMMMMMMMSKY!!!!!!
DANGLES!!!!
Hemsky up high, where dad hides the porno!
He actually beat him low if you can believe that!
But, that one, that one went high. Fuck.
Laser top shelf.
BJ's up one.
FUCK! Brule stopped.
What the fuck is with Quinn trying to milk the drama in the shootout?????????
Although I don't mind Brule getting a chance. Fuck.
GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OHMYGOD that was so fucking close. God dammit.
Shit that was close. Damn you Garon!
Welp...
Brule with the nice moves, but Garon stays with him.
And it's one point for the night...
Thanks for the play by play guys. Much appreciated.
This wouldn't have happened IF THE GOD DAMN GAME HAD STARTED AT A PROPER COCKSUCKING TIME!!!
Thankfully those cock sucking cowboys have left Rexall and we can get back to watching games at normal times.
From what I saw in the bars around here this weekend, more than a few cowboys were going to get THEIR cocks sucked. Don't quite get what chicks see in those dumb fucks.
Breasts.
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