Umm wasn't Dakin supposed to grace our eye's with a post yesterday? What the hell happened? We're not mad at you, just disappointed. Anyway enough with all this Dakin talk, it's game time bitches!
Red hot Anze Kopitar leads his not so hot as of late Kings into Rexall tonight, and thankfully for all of us Captain Canada is still on the shelf with a bummed leg or something. I say thankfully because you all know he's due to come back here and beat his old record for fastest hat trick any day now. That only leaves Matt Greene and Jarrett Stoll to come in and doll out a little "you probably shouldn't have traded me" justice. The Kings have lost 2 in a row and according to NHL.com are ready to hit the panic button. Come on Kings, really? Try winning 2 games out of 13 and them come talk to me about this "panic button". You've got a solid line up all the way through, Kopitar is firing on all cylinders, Doughty is scary good and you've got decent goaltending as far as I know. Try winning a few games with half the Springfield Falcons in your line up would ya!
The Oilers finally won a game on Monday, and aside from the shit kicking by Chicago have won their last 2 of 3 at home, so I've been lint rolling the Stanley Cup carpet just in case they decide to finally string together 2 wins in a row! Seriously though it was great to get a win, but it wasn't the greatest effort we've seen so far. Two goals in 7 seconds and 3 in the first period was amazing, but the rest of the game was more of the same we've seen all year. Getting shelled with shots and having the goalie bail us out. Like I said I'll take the win, it was nice to see JDD post up a goose egg, but they can't let the foot off the gas like they did if they expect to win games against, you know, good teams. I don't care what Tyson Nash has to say, the Coyotes aren't that good. They are alright and have a lot of young talent but they are still a few years away from being a legit contender. Fuck you Tyson Nash. Go back to Japan.
JDD is getting another start tonight as old man Bulin ices his tweaked back, and according to Gregor Pat Quinn is leaving the lines the same as last game. Which is crazy because so far this season the MacBlender® has had nothing on the MagicQuinn®. Dubynk's still taking shots in warm up, but I would really like to see him get a chance between the pipes during one of the back to backs this weekend. He's not waiver exempt next year or whatever, so unless someone gets traded at the deadline this year we're going to have another goalie clusterfuck to sort out. I'd really like to see which one of the young guys has the edge. JDD has looked alright so far but I wouldn't be surprised at all if Dubynk was ready to challenge him A La Rolli Vs Garon a couple years ago. Maybe if all my dreams can come true both goalies will look rock solid, and we can ditch Khabby off on someone. Not that I don't like Khabby, but I'm all for the youth movement. And besides that will free up some space to sign Kovalchuk in the summer right? RIGHT???
jeanshorts prediction: Oilers 6 - Kings 2. Doughty with both Kings goals cause I like that kid a lot.
GOILERS!
IQWT
-jeanshorts
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Bonsignore Citizens Brigade: Kings @ Oilers
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«Oldest ‹Older 1 – 200 of 216 Newer› Newest»You idiot. The "youth movement" is the reason we're in the shithole night after night. Ha ha.
Kopitar scares the living fuck out of me. He with his evil goal scoring ways. Supposedly the Kings' winning odds go waaaay up when he scores in a game.
5-4 Oil in a hotly contested goalie battle. Penner with 2, Gagner with 3 points. Book it!
^ "Goalie battle" as in who is least shitty.
Yeah, Gagner, Cogliano, Smid, JDD. They're the problem. YEAH OKAY! Next you're going to be telling me we should trade Hemsky!
The problem is the Moreau's, Pisani's, Staio's, etc sucking up all that money and space on the ice.
Actually, I've got no quibble with the kids and Smid. Its all the other guys we're developing who are taking the place of, you know, NHL'ers.
As far as Hemsky goes, I may be shitfaced drunk once in a while but I'll never speak about trading him. That and I can't tell when Dakin has off days and is back in town. Something tells me he'd crush anybody within earshot of a Hemsky putdown.
Jesus christ I've had TSN on for all of 3 minutes and I already want to punch my own teeth out thanks to Pierre McGuires constant jacking off of all things Brian Burke. "Thank you so much for sharing. What a story of courage and love, blah blah blah". Like Brendan Burke is the first person to ever come out of the closet or something. Fuck.
That's nothing. The intermission just started.
Seriously is it that big of a story? How was Burke supposed to react? Even if he was as big of an asshole in his personal life as he is in his professional life, was he supposed to like snap his kids neck on the spot? Let's say in the back of his mind all he can think about is how ashamed is he to have a gay son, does anyone realistically think he would come out and act like that publicly? He'd be booted out of his coushy GM job faster than you can say "dad, I'm gay".
Dudes have been coming out to their dads for decades. Why is this one different? Because Brian Burke acts like a cunt in the media? Fuck off. If his kid played for the Leafs, then okay I can see that being a story. But he's a college kid. Get over it. I guess it's a slow news day, what with the lack of headshots.
Burke is a media hog. That's what its all about. Not much more.
Although I just caught the last few minutes of Gregor's show tonight on the way home. Brownlee pretty much said that the NHL is homo-phobic, like any male pro sports team.
Yeah I completely understand that. But Branden Burke doesn't play in the NHL, nor does he have anyhting to do with it other than the fact that his dad works for the Leafs and his brother's a scout.
I don't know, it just seems to me like it's another chance for the media to talk adnaseum about how awesome Brian Burke is.
And like I said they're acting like Brendan Burke is the first gay man to ever come out of the closet. It's a good story but it's been blown way too far out of proportion. Again, must be a slow news week.
We get Steve Staios and LA has Matt Greene.
*I'm not lovin' it*
God Matt Greene was so fucking funny. I miss that guy. It stings twice as bad because he turned into a pretty solid shut down d-man.
Kopitar is coming into this game in a slump?
Oh man. We're fucked.
No, no. Kopitar is on fire. Frolov is the one that's in the slump. So we're going to be just fi......nope. Still fucked.
The Edmonton Oilers.
"If you're slumpin', we'll get you jumpin',"
I blame this whole slump busting thing on all those fucking Slump Buster pictures Wanye used to post on ON back in the day. I'm pretty sure he used that same picture like 40 times 2 seasons ago.
Oh yeah. Had to bring it up.
Where the fuck is our god damn Dakin content®? Man I was looking forward to that shit. Cocksucker! First it was Santa Clause. Then Britney lip syncs, then its Dakin with his "epic post coming up boys".
IS THERE NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD?????????
Fuck sakes Drew Doughty is a doppleganger to one of JSBM's friends. It skeeves me out every time.
Last time I partied with said friend he ended up face down on the dance floor covered in his own puke. Needless to say he knows how to party.
I'm not used to Gene doing an intro straight up. Its kinda creepy,
The funny thing is though when he's talking normally like that he still pronounces words like he's trying to make a pun.
"I know where LA is, but I have no idea where SLO-VE-nia is".
God I love Jacques. A lot. Get that kid some points!
Bbbbboooorrrrriiiiinnnnnngggggg.
This is what I imagine the late 90's Devils playing the Jacques Lemaire coached Wild would look like.
This JDD guy is starting to grow on me.
Which, I guess, were both coached by Lemaire.
So what I'm trying to say is.......
*wanders off into the middle of the road*
You know, these passes up the middle look like they're slowly starting to work. They should definitely start doing that way more often than they already do.
You mean those juicy stretch passes that keep getting intercepted?
Yeah. I mean they're only getting intercepted 80% of the time, which is a huge step up from 90%
Seriously dude. This is WEIRD.
BBBOOOOOOOOOOOO. Brutal call by the far ref. Garbage.
Don't you guys have some JSBM comment bots or something?
Bots? Comments?? JSBM?????
Say what?
Come on Cogs, I like that you're mixing it up, but drop the mits boy!
You know its an ugly night when Ethan Moreau is your best player.
Maybe it's a good sign that he's finally starting to "understand" things the coaches are telling him. And that being useless out there isn't the best way to help your team.
The Rex? God dammit Kevin Quinn I want to like you but you're making it awful hard.
I didn't really say "epic post." More so I said I have a post about drunk old dads coming up. The delay is because it just isn't that awesome. I'm sorry. It's coming.
Brian Burke's son is gay?
What else did I miss?
Sorry Dakin. But there's no way "a post about drunk old dads" could be anything else than epic.
But I do admire your quest for awesomeness.
Absolutely nothing.
JDD is playing pretty well so far.
But other than that, the fact that there has been 17 shots between the two teams this period is astounding.
This game is sleepy-town.
I keep thinking "these are games we should jump on" because those points sure come in handy down the stretch.
This one day in the summer I swore to god I saw Liam Reddox at Safeway. Dude had red hair and freckles and translucent skin, and an Oilers hat. But he was like 6 inches too tall to be him. But man did I give him a stare down just to be sure.
WWWWHHHOOOOOO!!!
BIG SEX!!!!!!!!
BONER JAM!!!!!!!!!
Potulny!
Oh shit it was a nice tip by Potulny. That guys is definitely playing his way on as a regular. Love that shit.
Nice of Sportsnet to not put the goal up on the board. Keep things on an even playing field.
Oh there it is.
Did he have the "crazy eyes"? Because that's the giveaway.
I'm will settle for nothing less than something covered in awesomesauce.
Speaking of Awesomesauce.... BIG SEX!!!
Man I'm likin' Smid's game these days.
No doubt. He's making it look like we only got slightly raped in the Pronger trade.
The more I see that replay, the more I think this game should be 2 nothing.
"Bad call, he drilled him into the boards!" No shit. When did hitting someone into the boards become illegal again?
I can't see why that goal was disallowed....
Because the ref thought about blowing the whistle at one point. DUH!
That is such a fucked up rule.
It's fucking stupid. They must have put it in this year and decided not to tell anyone. If they keep that shit in next season I'm going to stop watching hockey.
Except when the Oilers are playing.
HAHA fuck hockey.
FUCK! Softy. God dammit. I knew this hot start by JDD was going to mean bad news later on!
And a black guy to boot! Something about Mike Grier.
If nothing else, that goal should wake this game up because holy shit does it look like they were boozin' it up at the Baccarat last night.
See how is shit like that not a major penalty? But Ovechkin hits a guy straight on into the boards and he gets the boot?
Welp.... it's a good thing I am not in Rexall place right now because you'd see me jump on the ice and kill Handzus.
Hemsky. Shiiiiiiiiittttt!!!!!
Well at least he'll have a nice relaxing Christmas.
I bet that guy in front of Gene is fighting the urge just to turn around and start murdering.
Boarding should be an auto 5.
A shot on net would be nice.
So the Kings have one of the worst PK's in the league. What's the over under on Edmonton scoring? I'm thinking we're not the favorites here.
That was some pp bling there boys.
Man the internet sure is quiet tonight. Did this game put everyone to sleep or what?
Shut up Gene. Just shut the fuck up.
God Horcoff is terrible. He can't even poke the puck in from underneath the goalies pad. TRADE HIM!
We're the only team I know of that plays down to their opponent. Must give Quinn ulcers.
Gagner you goon!
Look at the pedostache!
What the fuck man he got nothing but puck there. God dammit. Fuck I hate refs.
I want to see some famous people being penetrated.
That is all.
The even up!
Hemsky is out? I thought they said he was out there for the PP right after the hit?
And for once I agree with DeBrusk, someone better cave in Handzus' face.
Uh oh Hemsky.
My offer of Murder upon Handzus is still valid.
Why is Patty O'bail-out's back to the play? WHY????
What the fuck man, we need to start getting this game thread shit right. It seems that during games when the Oilers play awesome I barely watch the game cause we are all talking to god damn much. And then boring shitfests like this, it's a three man party. Get it together boys!
CLOSE TO THE VEST!!!
*rips his own face off*
That 9 second power play probably isn't helping our numbers any.
I can bust out the sexual if you'd like.....
A three man party eh? As long as we all have BIG SEX masks on our faces..... FUCK YEAH!
@ JS - I'm worried about the culture at JSBM lately. You may need to have a closed-door meeting with your leadership group. You'll say a few things. They'll see a few things. Air it out.
That's some Eyes Wide Shut kind of shit right there. Although can you imagine a room full of Sourays?????????? Only in my dreams!
FUCK YOU REF!
HAHA see a few things.... air it out... hahaha
JS I imagine a room full of Sourays every god damn minute I am awake.
So a pick is interference now? Sonofacocksuckingmotherfuckerslutcuntbitch.
The league wants to get rid of "head shots" but still calls a penalty if you touch a guy without the puck. #contradictory
Yeah, I went all Twitter on this bitch.
This cannot turn out well.
God Souray's mean face is fucking intimidating. I'd hate to get in trouble if I was one of his kids.
Man the refs have been pretty brutal both ways tonight.
Well THIS is exciting.
Being in Love with Souray is a tough. When he busts out that men face, it will fucking destroy your boner and make you fear for your life. But when he lets that wild mane of hair flow free... all is forgiven.
So you think we should start planning our shit fest for December or what?
I'm thinking either the 28th or the 30th, since there's games on that night, and that way we don't actually have to talk to each other.
What's a pretty central spot? Hudsons at West Ed?
I think it would have to be the 28th. That would probably be perfect for me. I gotta give my buddy a call in a few minutes to find out if I'm working that day or not. New schedule and all.
The chicks are WAAAAAAAY better at Hudson's downtown. Then there's the fact nobody with any self respect goes to WEM to drink. Plus the cops are wicked around there.
That chick was a ditch pig
Yeah that's why I figure we should try and get something nailed down here soon so everyone can make sure they get work off and shit. I think maybe we'll go somewhere closer to Jasper Ave since that way I can just walk from my buddies and not have to drive back to Morinville and die on the highway.
I'd want to go somewhere where we could actually shoot the shit. Not to be gay or anything but I'm not there to pick up chicks... haha
How about the Pint? I know the Nation does all their shit there now so I guess it must be alright, right?
Done. I haven't been there yet.
Earl's Jasper has a pretty good setup.
And then after the game we can head down to The Bank!
*starts re-dazzling his Ed Hardy shirt and hat and pants and underwear and condoms*
The Pint might be OK. Haven't been there yet. Odd since I only live a few blocks away. I've heard its a bit of a sausage roast, but that should make Dakin's wife feel a bit better. Ha ha!
Ok I'm in for the 28th!!!!! Lets fucking do this!!!!!!!
haha, well I'm all for picking up chicks 24/7 but like Dakin said I'd rather have a place where we could shoot the shit and watch hockey with wings all over our face. And that way I can wear my 1992 Oilers sweat pants.
There's a bar on Jasper Ave called On The Rocks that refuses entry to anyone wearing Ed Hardy gear. I shit you not.
Yeah a lot of clubs around here don't let people waring Ed Hardy in either. They say it's because a lot of gang people wear that shit, but I think they've just come to their senses and are trying to limit the douche factor.
I'm sure we can get some of the Nation boys to pop by if we get a plan in place. Fuck I'm pumped now.
Absolutely. I'll finalize some shit or whatever and I'll post a bulletin on here and hide it inside next weeks First Star Worst Star on the Nation.
Well Poo Czar isn't here tonight. So I think you meant "I'm excited now".
Fuck yeah. I need to forewarn you though. I will be fucked up. But as I will talk about in my post soon, I can handle my shit.
hahahaha No man, I'm pumped. Why do you think he can't talk? He's a little busy right now.
Well I'll be in town by myself all day so I will most definitely be getting fucked up by myself waiting for all you clowns to show up.
Fuck you Dakin, I'm going to be waiting outside for the bar to open with a Big Bear in a brown paper bag!
HAHAH oh fucking big bears...... Memories.
Bah!
This is one of those sleeper games we end up losing in the last 5 minutes. You can just feel it coming.
I bet that Gagner crossbar is going to come back to haunt us that's for sure.
So. Tie game? HOCKEY!
Also? Penises!
Ricockulous PP tonight.
What is that kids name? Cocklianov?
Poo Czar!!!
Trying to get caught up on all the posts. Decent game? What the shit did I miss?
Is this a hockey thread or a hate crime thread?
Astroglide!
You in on the 28th?
Decent game, if by decent you mean crazy fucking boring. I think there's been maybe 5 scoring chances between the two teams so far. And Hemsky got hurt. So. Fuck.
What the fuck do you know. Matt Greene got his first goal AGAINST THE OILERS! FUCK YOU FATE!
Matt fucking Greene. Jesus.
David S said...
Bah!
This is one of those sleeper games we end up losing in the last 5 minutes. You can just feel it coming.
Travis Dakin said....
Fuck you.
Seriously... Matt fucking Greene?
"Matt Greene with his first of the season"
But of course.
WHAT THE FUCK JDD YOU ARE 9 FEET TALL! HOW DO ALL THESE PUCKS KEEP GOING SHELF ON YOU????????
That's the problem JS... He's so fucking tall he keeps getting beat top shelf under the arm.
If we lose this one, we'll have richly deserved it. Holy BRUTAL batman!
Even if we win this won we deserved to lose it. Garbage effort all around.
I'd really like one of those Patrick Stefan type moments again. I was watching that "Best damn sports show" and they had that as number 2 on their 50 craziest sports plays of all time.
Pat Quinn is going to be ripping some faces off after this one.
Sorry Travis. You could just see it coming.
FUCK YOU JDD!!!
I just found out today that Dubnyk is pronounced "DOOB-nik". We can be cheering for DOOB over a french cloven-hoofed freakshow? What goalie controversy?
Gagner is just fucking snake bit tonight! He's been in the right spot every time he just can't seem to put puck to twine. Fuck man.
well at least we booked a date together tonight... If we are looking for a silver lining.
Weird. Greene gets his first of the year. Frolov breaks out of his goal scoring slump. And the Kings break their 2 game losing streak. FUCK YOU OILERS!
Well at least Frolov broke out of his slump.
Well goddammit. I show up for 2 goals against in the last 5 minutes. You're welcome fellas!
And WTF??? Did Kopitar play the entire 3rd period?
Well who'd have thought that people tend to score when Poo Czar shows up?
Well, at least Martine looks bangable tonight. Though she's no Evanka.
COULD THIS NIGHT GET ANY WORSE??????
Anyone else want Simmons to call Principe his nigga?
Shitty, shitty effort.
Magnitude 9.8 on the ineptitude scale.
Well, silver lining is Hemsky is hurt. Maybe our powerplay will finally start clicking.
*slaps Travis in the face and runs as fast as he can*
You son of a bitch.
So are you fucking in Poo Czar or what?
FUCK! I just got caught up on the reading of the posts.
And guess what? I'm fucking out of town from the 23rd til the 2nd!
FUCKFUCKFUCK.
Jan 3rd work for everyone? FUCK.
Two nights in a row JSBM hammers ON in the post count.
OK. It was a couple of losers in a private chat session for most of it, BUT IT STILL COUNTS.
Oh god I'm a loser.
Well if makes you feel any better Poo Czar, I'm outta town from the 25th to the 29th. So I'll miss the debacle too.
We're all losers David. But in a FUCKING AWESOME way.
So, we're rescheduled then?
shitfuckshit
No it does not work you fuck.
David S- I fully expect you to be the picture perfect definition of a loser when I see you.
The only thing that eases the pain is that I'll be mountain bound, drunk on a snowboard for a week.
Wait so only me and Dakin are in town then? Well fuck. We need to work together here assholes!
I guess we could move it back to January?
And January 3rd does not work for me cause that's the day after my birthday and I plan on being inhumanly hungover that day.
Oh so it's just going to be me and jeanshorts? That's not gay.
So I guess the book on JDD is now officially "shoot high".
Dakin - tell your new seashell overlords you're taking a goddamn personal day!
*weeps openly whilst furiously rubbing mummified clit*
well fuck
You know what, fuck it. We'll have it the 28th. Just cause Poo Czar and David S have "jobs" doesn't mean the party won't be fun right? RIGHT??
Either way I'm getting drunk and watching hockey that day.
The only cure for being inhumanly hungover is getting straight-up Zombie drunk, amiright?
And I'll actually be getting back into town the night of the 2nd... That work better?
Wait, can we make it the 28th in Canmore? That'll work for me...
@ Dakin - JS and I made a mockery of the "gay" thing tonight for half the game. It was pretty uneasy there for a while, but we powered though it.
Canmore is only a 10 hour trip for me... Fuck.
And get your fucking tech team to fix this 2 bit fucking shantytown website! I got a new fucking computer just for these fucking BCBs!*
*perhaps not 100% true
Last time I went to Canmore JSBM got kicked out of 3 bars in Banff.
Needless to say I have fond memories of Canmore.
Well I'm getting drunk on the 28th and I'm going to be in Edmonton. Call Rusty and The Towel Boy.
Not workin' there buddy. Just outta town. My plane comes back late on the 29th. I'm off from the 23rd to the 4th. My god it will be sweet.
January 2nd Dakin? JS Birthday! Saturday night! Oilers vs Dany Fucking Heatly!
Well, whatever. I'm there from the 21st till the 5th so I'm sure we can have more than one "go get fucked up and watch hockey with guys you kind of know from the internet" nights.
Wow. David S and I have the same days off. *swoon*
Not looking forward to telling the wife - "Going to get shitcanned with some dudes I met on the internet!"
Just sounds inherently creepy, no? Though I do like the Librarian Mike explanation of "my Oiler friends"
I'm working then. I work on the 21,22,23,24..... off on the 25,26,27,28,29..... work on the 30,31,1,2,3..... Daughters birthday is on the 4th which is a Monday so the party will be on the 3rd.... uh yeah.
Basically I get fuck all of a break over christmas and the 28th is pretty much perfectly timed for me. God dammit.
I'm sticking with the 28th. It's just up to Poo Czar and David S to figure their shit out and make it out. BY ANY MEANS POSSIBLE!
But you make Ft Mac bucks Dakin. Don't you guys get paid in bullion?
I've missed all the Nation parties so far for work. Fuck that man we are doing this on MY TIME now haha.
David, they pay well yes but they also own you.
Option 1: Drunk on a snowboard with family and friends during week stay in Canmore condo, planned 2 years ago.
Option 2: Probably get videotaped being gang-raped behind a frozen dumpster.
decisions, decisions...
Wasn't there a Wanye Gretz line from the first Gathering of the Nation about him parading js and/or bm around like a prized pig? That shit made me laugh...
Yeah BM was like the golden child that night. Well, at the beginning anyway.........
I totally understand Poo Czar. There will be more opportunities.
Haha wasn't that the beginning of the temporary end of the Oilersnations/JSBM union?
Look Dakin, don't you tease me on this. There are only so many chances in a man's life to become a viral internet star by being dumpster-raped. My heart can only take so much...
New proposal: Baggedmilk Homecoming Shitstorm. Date TBD.
It was Dakin. It was. I'll fill you all in, well those of you that come to hang out anyway. And then after that I'll tell you guys the story about the temporary "dark time".
If the BM homecoming party is anything like that last one all it will entail is him laying on my couch and smoking weed all day for a week while I went to work. Needless to say it was one of our better parties.
Fuck, I've been waiting for some behind the scenes stories that somehow avoid being typed out on these here webs. I also wanna hear what the shit happened with the Lowetide/ON debacle.
Yeah I want to hear about that one too. It's probably super lame. But still.
OOOh gossip!!! my favourite thing. I can't wait to hear the stories.
Damn js, I thought being an Official ON Correspondent you'd be privy to all sorts of information. You do have Brownlee's cell # and home address though, right? Will he be there on the 28th???
Fuck that dark time was a tough time for me. Like a mutual friend of a divorcing couple.... Thank fuck for reconciliation.
All I got in my welcome kit was a vile of Wanye's blood and a picture of him having "relations" with Natalie Portman. And if wasn't even photoshopped. He literally cut his and Portman's head out of pictures and tapped them on. With duct tape. It was just a mess.
I think it was Wanye's blood anyway. He said it was........
So, the "dark time" we're talking about is the period after JSBM got unceremoniously dumped from ON? I'm fuzzy on the details, but I'm guessing there's some gold in there somewhere.
hehe... period
You think it was hard for you? I had nothing to do with us getting shunned, but I had to take it because unfortunately we come as a package. Ah well it's in the past and we can all laugh about it now. Although I'm not sure BM is 100 percent over it.
Did it taste like Bud Light and self loathing? Then it was Wanye Gretz blood... I giva a fuck if he shortened his name and dropped the flaming middle finger, the name doesn't work without "Gretz" on the end. Shit I still remember when that retard was just "Oilers Nation" and bingofuel was Spyncycle.
Sigh... Good olden times....
Oh shit, did this lead to his self-administered exile and international debauchery? Scintillating!
I'll just assume he puked in Amber's vagina or something.
Fuck I've been waiting to hear that story for a long ass time. It's going to be a gooder when we get together.
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