Does anyone know if they've started making the Dustin Penner bronze statue yet?Alright, I'm going to level with you guys here. I've been up since 5 am, for actual work purposes. I'm balls tired. I went for a few beers after we wrapped up, which is not helping my energy level one bit. I'm going to try my damdest to watch this game but it's going to be an uphill battle, as I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open as I type this.
The Oilers face the Avalanche tonight, and the Avs are going to be looking for blood after not only a loss to the Oilers last time out, but they're also reeling after an absolute shit kicking at the hands of the god awful Canucks. Our boys continue to lose, but have started to pick up their game. So it's a weird fucking dichotomy (that's for you Dakin). It's super nice to see them play exciting hockey for a full 60 minutes like they did on Columbus. It makes the loss a little easier to swallow since they, you know, tried really hard and all, compared to 90 percent of the games this year where they've looked like they had just been bag skated minutes before the puck drop. Being the optimistic Oiler fan I am I'm going to take this as a great sign that they've finally gotten over this flu bullshit, and with Souray and the gang back in the lineup I'm expecting this teams fortunes to change right quick. I can't fucking wait till Stone and JFJ finally come back. Seriously, who the hell ever thought they would say that? Unreal.
The game is on TSN tonight (SURPRISE, no PPV!) which is pretty sweet. Although we have to put up with Pierre McGuire for 2 hours, which is more than enough to drive entire towns to suicide. You think maybe the hockey gods will smile down upon us and not only give us Ferraro, but an Oilers win???? *passes out on the floor*
jeanshorts prediction: Oilers 3 - AVS 2.
GOILERS!
IQWT
It's nap time bitches.
-jeanshorts
Posts
152 Say Your Piece:
GOOILERS!!!
WAKEUPJEANSHORTS!!!
JS? Hey JS. Hey you.
*nudge*
HEY JEANSHORTS! WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!
Watch Budaj have a career night.
Just watch.
DIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!
Make up call on Penner.
My god Tom Gilbert is soft. Oil of Olay soft.
Gilbert you fucking pussy. Argh!
SCORECOFF!!!!!!!
Sweet!
God dammit Gilbert you fucking pussy...*sees Ronaldo's post*Ninja'd.
Whew! I was worried Gilbert might break a nail for a moment there.
He's standing there chanting to himself "thumb on the outside of a fist, thumb on the outside of a fist..."
Jesus Christ Tom Gilbert is absolute garbage this year.
HOLY CRAP FERRARO??? AM I STILL SLEEPING??
I hate Gilbert SO much right now it hurts.
Must be a JSBM staff Christmas party tonight.
@David S
Oil of Olay soft? Nice. I'm going to go with 'Soccer soft'. Yeah, I went there.
Sorry gents I tried so hard not to fall asleep. I made it to about half way through the pre game show. I was like "Hmm I wonder if Bob McKenzie was an annoying hockey daZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"
And I woke up just in time to see Tom Gilbert watching another hockey game from in front of his own net, and to hear Ray Ferraro's angelic voice.
Darren Pang is such a fan of himself!
He looks like a can of crushed assholes...and apparently he's only 27 or something.
Given that you hold down a job and double-shift between the home site and ON, I don't think anybody could raise shit if you missed a shift JS.
Dakin on the other hand, that boy should be picking up the fucking slack. Ha Ha!
For some reason, I really want to go out and get some Oral B....
Good job Microsoft. Showing a family of dorks as "PC" people.
Smooooth.
Damn, that Olympic torch really does look like a joint. How appropriate for Vancouver. haha.
They're building a Sydney Crosby museum? What the fuck man. I respect the kid but seriously, when is enough enough?
Wow the power play looking stellar tonight!
Enough with this hot one game, cold 5.
Ha Ha. Ferraro hacks Gilbert to pieces.
Buuuurrrnnnn!
BBBRRRUUULLLEEEE!!!!!
WWWWWWEEEEEEEEE!!!
The little buddy line SCOOOOOOORES!
Nice. Softie. Awesome. FUCK!
I thought JDD was making progress??????
Well, I DID have the Delorean as my goat, so...
Look at Stortini battle! If only the good players had his work ethic.
Jesus. Zack is starting to look surprisingly effective.
^Well THAT was awkward.
GAH HEMSKY! Always pass when you have an open net. ALWAYS!
PP!!!!!!
Power play = a sure goal!
Let's try no to piss away this pp boys.
I could take 40 games of Ray Ferraro. Guy calls 'em straight.
Someone should check Budaj's hand, there is no way it's not broken.
What the fuck is O'Sully doing shooting the puck BEHIND THE NET??????
Well clearly shooting it from anywhere in front isn't working, so he's trying anything. He might as well start taking bank shots like Sundin and Gretzky in those McDonalds commercials.
The TSN crew sound amazed by the suckiness of the PP.
That was some sweet perimeter passing there.
World class I'll bet.
TOO MUCH perimeter passing?????? SAY WHAT????
ZOMG HEMSKY NOOOO!!!! Fuck.
Holy shit! Hemsky off the post!
JS - Maybe you should just get rid of the "Baggedmilk" part of your sig because, well, you know...
*softly sobs into forearm*
Well fuck. I mean....fuck. This is getting tiresome.
Whhooo. Fuck that was a laser beam.
I've been thinking about getting us seperate accounts for a while, even when that sack of shit was still in the country, but I figure it's just too much work. So for now, we are still one.
Mrs Deslauriers? I've got some bad news for you...
FUck Ya Storts!
Storts mo is soooooo greasy! I love it.
Brutal fight.
And seriously, no one should ever stick up for Moreau. They should tell the other teams to hit him as hard and as often as they want.
OH SHIT. Head up Moreau!
Stortini should rock the mustache 365.
The was totally an elbow. And of course the world class nhl refs miss it.
Seriously how did two refs not notice a guy leading with his elbow parallel to his face going in for a hit?
Funny thing is, that Colorado dude just pulled a Quinn.
Pat Quinn is going home with a referee in his trunk tonight.
Took one in the mouth there from Big Sex.
Really starting to wonder why I woke up from that nap. Probably should have just kept atter till tomorrow.
Fucksakes. This game is going to get ugly fast.
"Going"?
Bit behind there bud.
Both Zack and Moreau are gone now.
WE'RE FUCKED BOYS!
So I guess maybe JDD ISN'T the problem?
A goal? For the Oilers?
Gotta be fake.
SAMWISE. Thank god! Comeback time.
THAT'S MY STAR!!!!!
Oh JDD's the problem alright. Don't ever doubt that.
Holy fucking shit.... I actually found a way to beat the system and I can watch the game online at WORK!!!! HAHAHAHA too fucking bad it is my last shift here....
Oh well, i will apply this new found power at the new place. Only problem is that is makes it hard to follow this thread and watch at the same time....
Whatever, the rest of us do it, even on the PPV games.
NO EXCUSES!
Oh my god I am a computer RETARD!!! I just found out that I can minimize and watch at the same time!!!!
Just read that Big Sex fighting Moreau quote JS..... That is the funniest thing I've read in some time.... well played.
You know what, I have no idea how no one thought of that until today.
I'm some kind of genius or something.
Penner officially needs a new stick manufacturer. Oh, and hello you bunch of big sexy jerks.
JS: The Moreau vs. Souray comment on the nation was glorious.
HAHA yeah it was solid gold. Especially because I can get the mental picture.
POTULNY!!!!
I'm excited to watch hockey again!!!!!
Fuck YA! I still hate gilbert though, this doesn't change that.
The Towel Boy???
BONER!!!!
AND GOAL!!!!
Potulny should just play nothing but the Avs.
I love Penner so much, makes my pants tight.
Sam is a god damn surgeon behind the net.
Trying hard not to get overly sexual about Penner....
I'm a little bit uneasy about the insane amount of sticks he breaks.
Well hello there Mr Dakin.
I guarantee he couldn't break MY stick....
Ah fuck there it is.
A little bit of JDD redemption there.
OH FUCK!...PENNER! The Horcoff/Hemsky cycle was magical there.
That was what you call a first line shift
Everything is slowly starting to come together. And I mean SLOWLY.
Maybe by 2013 we'll have a tea
PATTY OOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
have a team that competes every night.
DADDY BEAT ME SCORES! Finally!
SULLY! I was just about to bad mouth him too. Sweet!
O'SULLY!
That big monkey finally came off his back.
HAHA I'm a minute behind! I was wondering what the fuck you were talking about Patty OOOOOO!!!!! haha
Now he can go another 90000 games without scoring a goal.
Ha ha! JS with postus interruptus.
Is there still horse shit on the ice in RX1 tonight? Jesus it looks like fuck.
Jesus christ good thing we've got gumby in the net. Now if only he would learn to follow the puck.
Cumiskey has Cum on his jersey.
It's true. No lie.
Look at Stoll! Why on earth did they ever trade him????
The ice at RX1 is shit by about the 12th minute of every period. Its quite embarrassing actually.
Now if we had ice girls, you'd be looking forward to the snow building up.
Do they play that "I WAAANNNAAAA KKNNNOOOWWWWWW WILL YOU BE MY GIRL" song every fucking game? That song makes me want to rip my ears off my face.
I bet Gilbert is behind this somehow.
BIG SEX smackdown.
I dunno, but if I were Horcoff, I woulda shot that puck dead in the slot.
BIG SEX!!!!! Please do that to me!!!!!
I bet Gilbert wants somebody behind him right now.
If you know what I mean. And I think you do.
I think I may...
I need another wine spritzer.
Hey did I hear someone make vague references to gay sex?
If I was at RX1 right now, I'd totally leave early to beat the rush. This game is in the bag.
...yah.
I thought they were pretty "to the point" refrences....
Nice play Horcoff!
God dammit Reddox, stop working your way into my heart you son of a bitch!!!
I'm going to give him the venefit of the doubt... bad ice.
It's funny, it must be cuz I'm watching this game on TSN. But every time there's an offside whistle I expect to hear McGuire yelling "OFFSIDE! OFFSIDE!!!! THAT'S OFFSIDE!!! offside.." over top of Chris Cuthbert's call.
Gotta give it to Reddox, he busts his ass. Unlike Gilbert, who prefers busting in asses....ZING!
I think we've had to suffer through Nilsson to really appreciate what Reddox is. Fucking Ginger...
Pierre McGuire just wants to share his insightful commentary and wealth of knowledge with the rest of the world okay?
How else would we know who played a good game, or when someone had TOO! MANY! MEN!
FUCK YOU HEMSKY PASS IT TO PENNER!
OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!
OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!
OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!
OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!OILERSWIN!
Thank you Dangles for not fucking that shit up.
HEMSKY!!!!!!! Yep.
And I may have been wrong about Liam Reddox. In the good way.
Nice of him to hit THAT wide open net. Phew.
Did Penner get a point tonight?
Finally...an actual honest to god win. The boys played like a sack of shit on the PP and for parts of the game...but I'll take it. Sack of shit and all.
Why the fuck would Colorado call a time out down two with 13 seconds left?
ROLL OUT THE CARPET!!!!!!
What the fuck is with this team? We douche it up on the road and kick the ass of the team that beat Calgary just last night.
Seriously. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure my heart is going to explode by the end of the season. Either be sweet, or be shitty. YOU CAN'T BE BOTH OILERS!
Dicks.
Plus, 2 points. Minus, haven't traded Gilbert yet.
What's wrong with Comrie?
There's a Swedish senior men's league team that has high hopes for Gilbert.
Up against the belly high.
He's still got the flu or some shit.
I'm glad he didn't dress tonight. He looked like absolute ass in Columbus.
Comrie is still sick. He's been battling the flu combined with his asthma. Little dude went for blood tests today. *shudder*
Yeah I know he looked like ass lately but you have to assume it is the health issue.
Yeah, that's what I meant, sort of...
I'd rather him get healthy and come back and make a difference instead of trying to play sick and wasting a roster spot. So a guy like Nilsson can get a chance........
Uhh, maybe he should just play sick.
HaHa still thinking about that BIG SEX and Moreau fight..... god damn that was funny.
Jeanshorts And Baggedmilk said...
"So a guy like Nilsson can get a chance........"
Please don't joke about this, I can only take so much.
Is there anything more depressing looking than boiling up some hot dogs while wearing sweat pants and a dirty shirt?
I love being a bachelor!
Fuck i love boiled hotdogs. Don't get them much anymore but they bring back memories...and the shits.
Here is what you do.... Take the weiners and cut them up into little sections. about 2 weiners is perfect(giggity) then drop them into boiling water with a box of Extra Creamy KD. In about 5-7 mintues the noodles will be ready. Keep them a lttle firm (giggity) and mix in the cheese and milk as per your tasty desires. That is Bachelor living at its finest!
Extra creamy (giggity)
Man I could eat KD and hot dogs every day.
I'd be 700 pounds, but man I'd be happy!
Seriously, how hilarious is it that the Leaf's expectations going into this season have been crushed so incredibly horrible. It's so sad it's funny!
Fuck Brian Burke!
Fuck now I am hungry. Good thing the boys are busy cooking me up a going away feast tonight. Curry.... I love it.
The Leafs are such a sad sack now that I no longer find joy in it.
Just changing jobs or moving out of Fort Mac entirely?
See, I was like that when they were like 1-10. It was so bad. But then they won a couple games and got Kessel back, and they started to get cocky again, so for a few weeks I can bask in their misery. Until they lose 9 more in a row. Then I'll feel bad again.
Dakin said...
The Leafs are such a sad sack now that I no longer find joy in it.
No way, I love it, especially because Burke traded away their picks..haha..what a douche.
Good point. I forgot about the chosen one.... You're right, FUCK THE LEAFS. hahahah
Ronaldo, yeah I'm just changing jobs. Been wearing the orange hard hat for 9 years and then the company that has a seaSHELL as it's logo offered me a fuck of a lot more to go there. This in turn gets me one foot in the door to get a transfer out of this lovely place up here in the North and closer to the holy land.
Okay, I just got home from work. How bad did these fuckers lose toni...HOLY FUCK! THEY WON? YAAAAY!
It was fucking ugly though...
I know. I saw the interview with Horcoff after the first. Fuck...
I can't believe O'Sullivan scored though. Did he just pick up the puck and dive into the net head-first?
HAHA it was a wide open net from the slot...
Librarian Mike said...
"I know. I saw the interview with Horcoff after the first. Fuck..."
No shit. I am so thankful that I'm at a hotel without HD. Even so, I'll be having nightmares of that close-up. *shutter*
@ Librarian Mike -
AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!!!!
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