Righteous Sack Beating - Oct. 19, 2009

Take this Rob Schremp's NHL career!

According to my calender it is in fact Monday. And I know I said I would try my hardest to get the Righteous Sack Beating's up on Sunday's. But, I'm sorry. I got distracted by football, baseball, and some intense games of NHL 10. Well, I did finish it on Sunday at like 11:50 pm. I just figured at that point I'd save it to brighten up your Monday morning. So without further ado, and only a day late, here's another Righteous Sack Beating served up hot and fresh for that ass.

Sack Beating to all the Robbie Schremp fans that have gone into seclusion. What happened? You guys were so fucking vocal when Schremp was an Oiler. Preaching that he was going to be the next great offensive dynamo for the Oilers. Complaining that everyone from MacT to Patrick LaForge were somehow behind Schremp not getting a fair shake. I was hoping as much as anyone else that he'd somehow break out and score 60 goals a year, but enough is enough. While signed with the Oilers, he had played 3 seasons as a pro and managed to put together a staggering 3 points in 7 total NHL games. Now I don't know about you, but if I were to think of someone who was a first round draft pick and was supposedly amazing at putting biscuit in basket, I'd imagine they'd play more than 7 games in 3 years. But that's just me. This guy couldn't even crack the line up in 06-07, on a team that was begging for a young superstar to step up, especially after the Ryan Smyth trade. Instead he toiled away in the minors, putting up decent, but disappointing numbers. This was also a full year before he was passed on the depth chart by Nilsson, Cogliano and Gagner. Finally, and to the relief of many people including myself, the Oilers put him on the waiver wire and the lowly New York Tavares' snatched him up within minutes. How has this future 50 goal scorer done so far? Well in 5 games, while eating up top 6 minutes, he's managed a futile 1 point. 1 fucking point. I bet it was a second assist on a dump in or something too. Maybe I'm not paying enough attention but I haven't heard word one from any of the Schremp supporters since. No one making excuses about him being a slow starter. Nothing about playing on a crappy Islanders team. Not a fucking peep. There's no one to blame now but Robbie Fucking Schremp. Sack Beating to those of you who cried the name Schremp until the bitter end. At least you'll always have those youtube videos.

I was going to dole out a Sack Beating to Roberto Luongo for his hilariously lackluster play, but knowing my luck as soon as I posted it he would have went on a 6 game shutout streak. So I'll just leave it at this; continue to do what you're doing Bobby Lou. It's making my life so much more enjoyable (that is until the Olympics, when I'm going to need you to stop any and all rubber that comes within 20 feet of the team Canada net. Thank you).

And finally, a second Sack Beating in a row to the NHL and it's referee's. This whole microphone-on-the-ref thing the NHL stole from the NFL is absolute garbage. In football at least it makes sense. There's a million things going on at any given time, and the rules can get pretty complicated and technical, so a lot of the time it helps when the ref is explaining exactly what is going on. But there is absolutely no need for it in hockey. What's the point of having the ref announce the penalty over the PA, when the arena announcer is going to do it again 20 seconds later? That's what he's fucking there for. And the long winded explanations they give are fucking atrocious. "After reviewing the play, the Minnesota goalie reached back and stopped the puck just before it crossed the red goal line, and therefore, as per the rule book, the goal has been disallowed. We will now proceed with a face off and resume the game." Give me a fucking break. Remember way back when, circa 2006, when the ref would get off the phone and wave his hands horizontally? That's all anyone needed, and every single one of us knew that meant no goal. You know why? Because there's only two fucking signals. If the goal counts, the ref points his right arm out. If it doesn't, the ref waves both arms. It's so simple even an American can figure it out! But I guess wise, old Bettman doesn't see it that way. By pandering to the lowest common denominator, or people who don't know the game, you're alienating the other 95% of your fan base that do. The sad thing is this type of shit is going to get far worse before it gets any better. Mark my words we'll see a resurrection of the Fox-trax® puck, or some other incarnation of it. They're already testing out technology to follow the track of a baseball during MLB games and it's only a matter of time before little brother NHL grabs onto something similar. Get rid of the mic's on the refs. It's ridiculous. Sack Beating to anyone who thought this would be a good idea, and to anyone else who hasn't tried to put an end to it.

-jeanshorts