The puck officially dropped on the '09/'10 season tonight, and it's time to throw down some thoughts on how it will all play out. Now, I'm not like the Towel Boy, who is undoubtedly from the future. I could have gone for the easy score and just asked TB how this would all shake down, but he's far too reclusive... a vicious price of fame. Luckily for you, Trusty Rusty is on the case.
If you know something about anything, you will want to get Vegas on the phone...
TSN marched out their fancy panel that came to the following conclusion:
Eastern Conference
1. Boston Bruins (NE)
2. Washington (SE)
3. Philadelphia Flyers (ATL)
4. Pittsburgh Penguins
5. Carolina Hurricanes
6. New Jersey Devils
7. New York Rangers
8. Montreal Canadiens
9. Toronto Maple Leafs
10. Ottawa Senators
11. Buffalo Sabres
12. Florida Panthers
13. Tampa Bay Lightning
14. Atlanta Thrashers
15. New York Islanders
Western Conference
1. San Jose Sharks (PAC)
2. Vancouver Canucks (NW)
3. Detroit Red Wings (CEN)
4. Chicago Blackhawks
5. Calgary Flames
6. Anaheim Ducks
7. St. Louis Blues
8. Los Angeles Kings
9. Dallas Stars
10. Columbus Blue Jackets
11. Edmonton Oilers
12. Nashville Predators
13. Minnesota Wild
14. Phoenix Coyotes
15. Colorado Avalanche
Here's how things will actually shake down:
Eastern Conference
1. Boston Bruins (NE)
2. Philadelphia Flyers (ATL)
3. Washington Capitals (SE)
4. Pittsburgh Penguins
5. New Jersey Devils
6. Montreal Canadiens
7. Carolina Hurricanes
8. Buffalo Sabres
9. New York Rangers
10. Ottawa Senators
11. Tampa Bay Lightning
12. Florida Panthers
13. Toronto Maple Leafs
14. Atlanta Thrashers
15. New York Islanders
Western Conference
1. Detroit Red Wings (CEN)
2. San Jose Sharks (PAC)
3. Vancouver Canucks (NW)
4. Chicago Blackhawks
5. Anaheim Ducks
6. Calgary Flames
7. Edmonton Oilers
8. Nashville Predators
9. Columbus Blue Jackets
10. Dallas Stars
11. St. Louis Blues
12. Los Angeles Kings
13. Minnesota Wild
14. Phoenix Coyotes
15. Colorado Avalanche
There you have it. You can now point and laugh and call me names. I do, however, fully expect to be crushing a frosty beverage when the playoffs begin, watching the Oilers face Dany Dickface Heatley in the first round. IQWT
I must also submit my picks for:
Star: Dustin Penner
I was having a tough time choosing between a few options, then realized I was hungry and grabbed a sandwich. I then realized a donair would be a more delicious choice, which led me to choose Dustin Penner who will blow your socks off this year.
Goat: Tom Gilbert
Everything in my head points immediately to Steve Staios, but I chose not to since Uncle Steve is playing with the sexiest piece of man-meat to grace these parts this year. One thing I vividly remember last year was the countless times that Gilbert was standing near the net, doing sweet fuck all, as the puck was gently placed in the basket. Gilbert makes up for his softness with his offensive flair, but I have a feeling Goaty McGilbert will have me yelling profanities at my TV more than I'd like to this year.
Thoughts?
*KERZZZORK-POOF!!*
ReplyDelete(steps out of time machine)
(reads Admiral Rusty's predictions)
(shakes head at predictions leaving Rusty to wonder if it was a headshake of "holy fuck he was right" or a headshake of "sit down kid before you hurt yourself")
(steps back into time machine)
*KERZZZORK-POOF!!*
Dustin Penner has nowhere to go but up, thus a decent choice for star. I mean, you pretty much can't lose.
ReplyDeleteGilbert for goat? Not sure about that. He's committed to shooting more, and his last pre-season goal looked strangely laser-like. Think you might have stepped in some poo on this call.
Thanks for the content Rusty. I guess we could give Jeanshorts a pass as it seems he's doing a decent Jim Lahey imitation, letting the liquor do the talking this week.
Any of you sods going to be at The Pint on Saturday?
Every fucking time they have a party I am working. I work six days on, six days off. 50% fucking chance but every single time I am working. If they gave us more than a weeks notice then I could arrange something. It's a long trek for me to get down there. Fuck.
ReplyDelete@Dakin ...Yeah...I can't go either. I practically live in another PROVINCE!!! *turns off melodrama*
ReplyDeleteCan't go anyway, I'm playing actual hockey that night. First game of the year! Fuck am I pumped. New stick, new helmet, new visor....I'm good for an extra 3 or 4 goals this season! FUCK YEAH!
The Pint has been advertising the snot outta their opening. It'll be lined up big time. I'd be surprised anybody could get in past 6:00. Since I like to avoid the happy hour crew, my guess is I won't get in anyways. Prolly end up at Hudson's downtown for the game. Man, the chicks in there later at night are simply outstanding!
ReplyDelete@ David S - I got a good laugh this morning when I reviewed my picks and went "What the fuck was I thinking??"
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I still cling on to my hope that 3 of the NW teams will make the playoffs and the Flames will be battling with the Oilers for 6th and 7th.
As far as Gilbert goes, having Sexy and Lubi eating the larger minutes and with his lack of intensity and knack for standing around the net in our own zone... BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sexy and Lubi.... Fuck that gives me a Boner.
ReplyDelete@ Dakin
ReplyDeleteDo you think they should play together?
Or, you happy with the Staios/Souray - Vish/Smid - Grebs/Goaty pairings?
hahahaha i just said Souray and Lubi should play together... awesome.
ReplyDeleteI've actually heard a few people bringing up the Souray rumours again saying he's quietly letting it be known he wants to be closer to his kids. I will die a bit inside if that pile of handsome leaves this town. He's got to get his cup ring first.
No it's just the words "sexy" and "lubi" make me giggle. I think it's quite obvious he wants out. His comments about the team make that seem so. He's clearly not happy.
ReplyDelete