
Oh, hey look it's another game day. Normally I'd be super jazzed for such an occasion but with the way the Oilers have been playing as of late I can't find too many things to be excited about. Half the defense is out with one ailment or another, everyone's continuing to be ravaged by the flu, Quinn is still forced to juggle the lines to try and figure out a way to stop the bleeding until everyone is back at 100%, the entire team has looked insanely shitty and slow the last 4 games and the Detroit Fucking Red Wings are in town.
Actually it's probably not a terrible thing for the Oilers to be playing the Wings tonight. Detroit has looked incredibly lackluster through 10 games so far. I guess that's what happens when you make it to the Stanley Cup Finals two years in a row. The hangover is bound to take it's toll sooner or later. The biggest flop for Detroit thus far has been their goaltending. Chris Osgood has always been one of those goalies that no one can figure out if he's good or not. On one hand he's won 3 cups, is 10th all time in wins, and he's won 2 Jenning's Trophies. On the other hand he's had incredibly talented teams in front of him, has had plenty of stretches where he lets in 3 or 4 goals on 10 shots and has had far too many nights where he looks like he should be wrapping up his career in the AHL. All I know is that right now he looks shitty and that can only mean good things for the Oilers tonight.
Vishnovsky is out with the flu but thankfully Quinn finally got as fed up with Gilbert and Grebeshkov as the rest of us and has split them up. So instead of those two coughing up the puck 30 times a game hopefully that number will be reduced to somewhere around 25 or so. Quinn has also decided to split up the Gagner - Hemsky - Penner line, instead going with Shawn Horcoff back as the 1C and trying to rekindle the 2008 magic that was the kid line of Cogliano - Gagner - Nilsson. If the first 13 games, and really the last season and a half, have taught us anything it's that Shawn Horcoff has looked really terrible offensively. So this could go one of two ways; either Penner and Hemsky continue to roll and they finally give Horcoff a much needed spark, or Horcoff brings both of them down and this team continues to slowly spiral down the shitter.
And I really, really, really need Patrick O'Sullivan to kick this fucking monkey off his back and start potting some goals, because otherwise I'm going to look like an asshole for picking him as my star. The Oilers haven't scored a goal in 2 games, and haven't managed to score a goal 5 on 5 in the last 3 so it's time for somebody, anybody to fucking step up and turn this teams fortune around. Fuck, things look bleak right now but there is no way that it can stay like this forever. Eventually everyone's going to get over this super flu and we'll have all our regulars back in the lineup and things will start clicking again like they were at the beginning of October. I hope tonight is the night where the ship starts to right itself again. If not we may be in for a long November. You know how I know things are going bad for the Oilers right now? My dad was sending me text messages yesterday, beaking me about how shitty the Oilers are and how the Leafs are turning things around. That's how bad things are.
jeanshorts prediction; Oilers 4 - Wings 3. BOOK IT!
IQWT
GOILERS!
-jeanshorts
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Bonsignore Citizens Brigade: Wings @ Oilers
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Visnovsky out. Souray out. Noscorecoff on the 1st line. Detroit across the faceoff circle.
If I didn't have to work tomorrow I'd be in the drunk tank by 10:00.
6-3 Detroit. Sorry boys. Don't see it goin' down any other way.
I'm not holding out too much hope for this game either.
But all that means is if the Oilers win it's going to be that much sweeter!
Ah JS ever the optimist. That'll change when Poo Czar shows up and wants to bend you over the couch.
I agree with jeanshorts' tweet. Stamkos scored one sexy ass goal. My goodness.
Fuck I still don't like Steve Downie. Although I hate Ruutu more. Such a toss up.
So has Towel Boy changed teams? I'll miss those sweet photoshop skilz.
BTW - internet feed has the fucking Ottawa game too.
LIKE I EFFIN' CARE!!!!
I think he's more freelance like J. Willis. Will write anywhere there's room to put down words or something.
At least we get MacT.
Yeah... I was shocked to see TB tearing up the nation, and even more shocked to find my beloved Crushers in 864th place in the pool.
Fuck sakes... I don't read the rules and just fly through my picks, then realize I picked Daniel instead of Henrik and you don't get to pick again. Fuck my silly self.
Alright, plan 1 tonight; shoot the fucking puck. All the time. From everywhere. Detroit's goalies are garbage so far.
Although knowing the Oilers they'll probably make Howard look like Roy tonight.
YYYAAAAAA JACQUES!!! GOOD START BOYS!!! WWWHOOOO!!!
YEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZIRRRRR!!!!
Wow did Brule fuck that one up...
Haha beauty shot by Brule. No wonder he was drafted so high.
JFJ!
I love how they show Babcock going..."Who the fuck is that guy?"
So, is 19 - 67 - 22 our new number one line?
Horcoff is Charmin soft tonight.
Fuck I like Peckham a lot. Once he learns how to play solid defense at this level he's going to be a killer.
Look at the fucking grit out of the cute kids! I love it!
Holy shit Horcoff got the puck out of his own end without giving it away! PROGRESS!
Chorney or Peckham?
At least we have options haha
Come on Penner, move those fucking hamhocks faster off the ice.
Two many men? Fucksake.
*Too*
Tard.
Man I love Ray Ferraro. Almost makes Gene Principe's pun routine palatable.
I'm sober... that's not right at all.
He's easily my favorite color guy on TV. He calls it exactly how it is, but isn't a douche about it like Glen Healy. He doesn't shit on guys unless they deserve to be shit on.
Ferraro and Mac-T. Can't complain about that one bit.
Good to see them get McIntyre out there to police those bastards taking runs at our smurfs.
Khabbi! Khabbi! Khabbi! Khabbi!
Fuck is it just me or is this way more fun when the Oilers don't get scored on 13 seconds into the game?
And they're actually skating and hitting today! It's a fucking miracle!
The only way Macintyre should be out there is if he's doling out Rexall Reminders.
Man if Jacques keeps this up he's going to pot himself a hat trick tonight.
What the fuck is up with all those Detroit jersey's behind both benches?
Looks like the guys are getting their zip back.
PENNER!!!! FUCK YEAH! GOALS!!!!!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU DUSTIN, YOU SEXY YOU!!!!
You should see when Montreal is in town. Place looks like the old forum.
Penner!
I just wanna fuuuuUUUUUuuckkk you. No touching and rubbing Hemmer you got a woman that love. You. Don't need ya all in mine.
I just wanna fuuuuUUUUUuuuckkk you. We can't be kissing and huggin, Penner you got a woman that Love. you. You need to give her your quality time.
I love how the crowd quieted down for Horcoff's name and then picked back up for Hemsky.
Holy shit Gagner! THAT would have been the goal of the year!
If they would have played this way the last 3 games we'd be leading the West right now. Fuck it's nice to see but it needs to happen more consistently.
What the hell man, my dad is still talking shit about the Oilers inspite of their 2 goal lead. Typical Leaf fan I guess.
Dude - they were running on fumes. Actually fumes of fumes.
WWWHOOOOOOO!!! GOALS!!! GOALS!!! GOALS!!!!!!!!!!
1 too many passes.
Wait... no.... that one worked
FUCKIN EH!!! CROSS-SEAM THAT BITCH!
You know... I was at the game a couple years ago when Horcoff scored 4 assists in one period against the wings.... Maybe....maybe....
Jesus.
I'm so fucking happy right now. Makes up for this bullshit week!
*drops pants and waits for Poo Czar to arrive*
So I guess Babcock is thinking he fucked up giving Osgood the night off.
I guess Howard must have been drafted in like the second round or something. Not like all those 8th rounders that turn into Detroit superstars.
Remember last year when Pierre McGuire was raving about how Howard was the goalie of the future?
While you're waiting.... hello.
Where's Stortin tonight? Don't effin' tell me he's sitting for Macintyre.
What the fucking cock hell balls cunt shit piss fucktard does "effin" mean?
"Fucking". OK nutbag? Ha ha!
Weird, Moreau lost a battle for the puck.
Maybe he's having an off night.
Ladi Smid is the shit.
Grebs really needs to stop playing the puck down the middle and right in front of his own net. It scares the shit out of me every time.
"Two assists for Horcoff tonight, doubling his point total for the year."
Ahhh-ha ha ha ha!
Fuck man I'm not used to seeing this many good bounces for the Oilers way. I like it.
Can't ask for a better opening period.
I'm so glad we didn't lose Smid.
Are they going to talk about Penner's No-Trade Clause costume? Because it sounds amazing.
I can't wait to see what Mac T says about Penner...
Like I said over on ON, I think the swine flu somehow made Smid better.
Holy fuck, those two wives were smokin!
Holy damn... That was a tasty Oilers wife on the right.
haha fuck. I still have a soft spot for MacT. I'm so glad he's not the coach anymore but I'll never get tired of listening to him on TV.
I fucking love Mac-T the person. The coach, not so much... but he's quality.
"I'll take some of the blame but certainly not all of the blame har-har-har"
I've been at games where the Oilers wives and girlfriends had one of those charity tables out. You wouldn't believe the quality. BONER!
I don't know, I don't think it's too hard to imagine that really in shape, rich, professional athletes have hot wives. Minus Moreau. Uuuugggghhhh *shudder*
Howdy howdy fuckin' partners!
Can't stay long...got go play real hockey.
Pretty sweet fuckin' game so far eh!?
The Wings look shockingly pedestrian tonight...I like it.
Guarantee Keith Premeau is one of the only players that still has lingering effects from a career full of concussions.
It's a fucking full contact, high speed sport. And you get compensated fucking WELL to play it. Get over it and keep your head up.
Even sweeter now that you've popped by to say hello. *swooooooon*
OHMYGOD YOU GUYS ITS THE TOWEL BOY!
*faints*
MOTHER FUCKING OILERS HOCKEY, BITCHES!!!
OHMYGOD THE POO CZAR TOO???????? Now it's a party!
*shits his pants and starts eating it*
HOLY FUCK!!!! TODAY IS FUCKING AWESOME!
HEMSKY LOVES US TOO!!!
HEMMER! WHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING AYE BOYS!!!!!!!!
Holy fuck, many goals! Many posts! So much reading and catching up!
More turnovers by Big Bert! I love it!
Another point for Jr. Sexy.
Hemsky! Ha ha!
I guess it doesn't really matter who's playing with them, Penner and Hemsky are the ones propping up the center.
PRESSURE! PRESSURE! PRESSURE!
Keep the pedal to the floor Quinn. Let's bury them.
Time for a Gagner hi-lite reel goal.
I love Boner-inducing Oiler hockey way more than abdomen-gut-wound-raping-AIDS-cock Oilers hockey.
Hemmer is feeling it. Me likey.
Fucking Dangles!!! I love it.
FUCK YOU DARREN HELM!
Yep.
Well, shit.
That'll learn me for spewing rampant fucking joy and optimism.
That's a shame.
So the Wings DO realize they are playing a hockey game. I guess we should tighten up the defence.
Imagine how fucking rad Smid would be with Hemmer's neck scars...
And if he got involved in some kind of sex and or gambling scandal!
Not much to worry about, what the hell have the goddamn Detroit Red Wings ever won???
*What's that? 4 recent cups you say? Regular season domination and such? Well...*
Shit the kid line is looking pretty decent if I do say so.
How else would he get the neck scars without the sex and gambling?
asdfjhbgewohtiouryGGGOOOOOOAAALLLL!!!!
GGGOOOAAALLLSSS! GREASY GREASY GOALS!!!!!!!
HORCOFF?????? OH MY GOD SAY IT AINT SO!
WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! That was fun to watch. Give that man a raise!!!
WHOA... Didn't Penner score that? Shit. Don't give that man a raise!
Scorecoff?
Did anyone else see that 400 lbs Gorilla fly off Horcoff's back after that goal?
Fucking finally.
Who would have thought that putting together lines that kind of worked in 2008 would be the key to the Oilers success tonight.
Holy fuck, if Wolf Eys wakes the shit up, that's some good goddamn news. Like, drunken 18 year old twin sisters not named Daniel and/or Henrik passing out drunk in your back yard. That makes 'em your property, right?
Well, everyone knows that chemistry in hockey is wildly overrated. I think both Willis and Lowetide would concur... IN BED
First Line - check.
Kid Line - check.
Goalie - check.
Holy fuck Stortini is playing?? Is this his first fucking shift?
Lowetide and Willis? Hmmm...I wonder who'd be the bottom?
So every time Mac-T does an Oilers game Penner will get at least 4 points? I can live with that.
Poo Czar- How were you able to see my fantasy like that?
Sperm filled ginches - check.
Well I don't know what Lowetide looks like, so, I think we'd be safe in saying Willis would catch. Or maybe they'd rotate. Do gay guys do that? Like one guy gets to be top every monday, wednesday and friday?
DAkin - I AM INSIDE YOUR MIND! Y'know, rather than just your anus.
I've seen Lowetide on Staples site. I'm pretty sure he's Willis' dad.
Just imagine the baseball talk and stats breakdown during/after coitus.
Oh shit. Bad guys goaled.
Well if Chorney didn't have bad luck he'd have no luck at all.
Still like that kid.
Chorney. Fuck.
Back to the AHL with you.
Poo Czar- That's WAY fucking better than a reach around.
Zatsoup? Nice one Cuthbert.
I really want Peckham to fight Claude Lemieux again.
Remember when Claude Lemieux hit Draper or Maltby or whoever from behind in the playoffs that year and was like an inch away from killing him?
Good times.
Those Avs/Wings series were so fucking awesome.
Dakin - Yeah, I'm a real lover like that. I touch your mind and your large intestines. But I leave only one of them glazed like a truckstop donut.
Here JS, click on this mega fucking link. This is Lowetide AKA Alan Mitchell.
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://communities.canada.com/edmontonjournal/cfs-file.ashx/__key/CommunityServer.Components.PostAttachments/00.00.14.80.30/Lowetide%25201.png&imgrefurl=http://communities.canada.com/edmontonjournal/blogs/hockey/archive/2008/01/14/oilers-top-line-are-also-defensive-dynamos.aspx&usg=__ovy8NFH5OUq4BK8QOyA2-ofS_wE=&h=638&w=388&sz=326&hl=en&start=1&sig2=Xnj93WRy3JvoYxvCn1h1gA&um=1&tbnid=17vDZArNgbGeoM:&tbnh=137&tbnw=83&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlowetide%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26rls%3Den%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1&ei=gVbqSpT_E5TIMcyOvakN
the caramel corn from costco makes my ass quiver it's sooo damn good.
If/when the Oil make the playoffs, I'd LOVE to see a bloodbath series with damn near anyone, but preferably the Godless Flames. Though with a lineup featuring this many abject pussies, that's neither likely to happen, nor a good idea.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA holy fuck. No wonder he knows so much about 1930's baseball. He looks older than my dad and my dad is old as fuck.
So yeah he'd definitely be the top purely based on seniority.
Poo Czar- Rusty trombone?? Please. Let. Me. Do. It. To. You.
HAHAHAHA That was awesome. And Osgood and Roy started chucking. Draper's face was the size of a beach ball. Who'd have thought that this year the Avs would be on top the West, and Detroit would be below the mighty Oil.
See? Could be Willis' dad, no? Just add glasses or something. Though he looks like he'd be a great throwback hard-drinkin' kid-hittin' type of dad, like Judd Nelson's dad in Breakfast Club, with the cigar burns and whatnot.
Absolutely. He's definitely backhanded a few women across the mouth in his day.
Quinn looks like a circus clown with that Prince Purple Rain tie and that 3 piece Oliver Twist era suit
Huge work by Sully.
FUCK NILSSON! Still trying to play himself off the team I guess.
Nilson: *HACK HACK COUGH COUGH ACCKKKKK
Dakin - didn't you pull a rusty trombone on me last year during our 2 man show during a Blues game or something? If so or if not, make yourself at home my friend...
PAT QUINN IS A SAINT!
Oh boys. We're letting them mount a little too much momentum here.
Tighten up the D.
Don't mind him, anonymous must be from Toronto and is still trying to pick up the pieces of his life after yet another Leafs loss.
sometimes I want to poke Nilsson's french speaking eyeballs out of his head and skull fuck some sense into him
"Mount" Heh heh.
Nilsson is Swedish BTW.
Poo Czar. That is correct. We did that. I think I gave Carmen a GT snow racer too. Fucking good memories.
But I'm pretty sure he speaks French. Actually that's still one of those mysteries I'm trying to solve. Just exactly what fucking language Nilsson speaks. Depending on whichever word he's trying to say he's got like 8 different accents.
i would like to start off by saying i am hard as a rock as i type this...i have missed you boys lately...working in this fucking eastern standard time is killing me....i read the posts...still see david is selling the boys short...not to be an ass...but i wish he would take that shit elsewhere.....your in oiler country
I gotta give both Quinn and Ferraro props for those ties - Prostate Cancer research ties. Anyone else here stepping up and growing a dirty molestache for Movember?
I'm not going to lie Justin, I don't think any of use forsaw this team winning tonight, and playing in this dominating a fashion.
But yeah if David S keeps this up I'll have to take him out back and teach him a lesson, Pat Quinn style.
molestache hahahaha
David S is just a misguided soul, lashing out when he knows not what else to do. Luckily we know the answer: hard drinking + aggressive masturbation = Optimism!
Poo Czar, I volunteered to perform rectal exams to help out.
If my grandpa taught me anything it was that aggressive, self hating masturbation is the cure for anything.
OK. Well fuck I figured no way tonight. But I'm always glad to be wrong when the Oilers pull off another Miracle in October.
"Pat Quinn style"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UWpW-Z3BmY
That hit was the single reason Bobby Orr had to retire early. His knees buckled so hard that they were never the same again!
I love it when the fan reaches over the glass and lays a haymaker.
Smokin' in airplanes and punching players over the glass. Those were the days.
*drops trou, lets Dakin see how many condoms he can dig outta that orange spider leg rimmed abyss*
David S- Post that at ON incase people never saw rock em' sock em'
3 goals up. Whats the over/under on us winning?
Those WERE the fuckin' days. I watch Mad Men and curse my birthdate. Boozin' at work? Harassin' broads? Helmetless goalies? Good fucking times.
Even with the 3 goal lead I'm still nervous.
I think we need 2 or 3 more insurance goals just to be safe.
Goalies must love it when O'Sullivan takes a shot. Another nice fresh muffin for them!
wouldn't it be awesome if Theo Peckham's last name was Huxtable?
Weeeeak.
Look at that fat Mexican behind Quinn in the Wings jersey. Who the hell let him in the building?
Holy shit I can't believe we didn't get scored on there!
i mean Rusty's wrists aren't just limp. They're busted from being on his hands and knees all night.
JESUS FUCK!
Stop the bleeding. Fuck sakes.
Good Quinn rip em a new fucking asshole. God dammit.
Well, shit.
*Hello Geico? Yes, I need more insurance...*
Right? RIGHT?!?!?!
Fuck you guys...
Ferraro calls it 5 seconds before its in.
I love the guy and hate him at the same time.
things will be just fine...know how in know? i member my 84-85 boys in the exact same silks...i know i know...quit living in the past oiler fan...i say fuck you
FUCK SAKES! FUCK YOU BERT! YOU PIECE OF SHIT! GOD DAMMIT!
OH FOR FUCK SAKES! SON OF A BITCH BERTUZZI YOU COCKSUCKER
Oh good Christ
Oh, boy.
Fuck me, the neanderthal scores. F'n bullshit. We can score but we can't play D. And we shoulda had JD in.
FUCKSAKES!!!!!!
Well it IS the Red Wings after all.
You can only go so long without Souray and Staios before you pay.
Did Stuart just kick Gagner??
Here we go. Time to fuck up some Red Wing faces and get a little fire back in our step.
@david
well i was with you until you said the greek
Don't worry fellas, this is usually the part of the game where Gilbert dials up his physical game and DOMINATES. Right???
"We shoulda had JD"?????
I just pissed myself. That was the most hilarious post of the night!!!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHEN I WENT PEE!!!!
I'm calling it right now, Stortini is due for a big goal and now is his time to shine!
Dakin - did it burn again???
HAHA worse than that!
Staios isn't a defensive whiz, but he settles things down. Besides, Detroit hasn't seen the ring-around tonight. Might surprise 'em.
JS.... How about Hemmer for the trick?
And with Staios back in the line up he can pick up the fucking up slack so Gilbert and Grebs don't have to do it so often.
I'm not sure if icing the puck in the third with Detroit down by 1 is a great idea.
I just like to make super outlandish predictions, because when they come true it makes me look that much cooler.
So with that, I guarantee Marissa Miller is going to kick down my door within the next hour and hump me until my dick falls off!
@ JS. Exactly.
Uh oh. Dakin, are you peeing green Miracle Whip again???
*injects self with experimental HIVN1 shot to be safe*
I think Ferraro is going to make a sweet fucking coach one day.
Then again, I can also picture Ferraro having more than a bit of O'Sully's dad's rage in him...
I think I would make a sweet fucking donair one day.
FUCKKKKKKKK
GOOD FUCK NO!!!!
FUCK! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! FUCK!
Cue the meltdown.
Did the flu kick in during the intermission?
hahah this fucking SUCKS! Fucking bunch of fucking fuck ups!
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