Saturday, October 31, 2009

Bonsignore Citizens Brigade: Oilers @ Bruins

Mike Milbury beats a Rangers fan with his own shoe in quite possibly the greatest hockey fight of all time.

Good morning sunshine! How's everyone feeling today? I'm not going to lie this is a preemptive strike. I'm actually writing this on Friday night because there's no way in hell I'm getting up at like 9 AM tomorrow to deal with this bullshit. Seriously what the hell is with the North Eastern American teams and their love of matinee games? There's four games before 5 pm. That's ridiculous. Even in minor hockey we stopped playing afternoon games by the time we got to Bantam.

The Oil roll out in Beantown this morning to take on a Bruins team that has been insanely underwhelming so far. I guess someone finally told Tim Thomas he was, in fact, a mediocre goalie at best. Sure he's acrobatic and fun to watch but as goalies go there are about 20 other guys I'd take before I even considered Tim Thomas. I like the guy a lot and he's one of those Rudy-esque stories about a guy toiling away in the minors until he was like 45, but at the end of the day he doesn't stop pucks with enough consistency for my liking.

We should also take into consideration the fact that the Bruins no longer have the services of Phil Kessel and have been derailed by a slough of injuries to some key guys like my favorite player Milan Lucic, and stellar centerman Marc Savard. I'm not really sure what else has gone wrong with the Bruins so far but I do know that they have played pretty terribly as of late, and they've gone from winning the East last year to being sandwiched in between two terrible teams in Tampa Bay and the Islanders. And if the playoffs started today they'd be on the outside looking in.

The Oilers on the other hand have surpassed many peoples expectations so far in this young season. It's been a fucking roller coaster ride, from playing stellar and winning 5 of 6, to being derailed by the flu and injury bug and losing 3 in a row, to last game against Detroit where Oiler fans everywhere went from being filled with utter joy for 40 minutes to almost committing suicide during the following 25. A win is a win, and I'll take it, especially considering I had counted Edmonton out of the game before it even started, but if this team is going to see any post season action this year they are going to need to learn how to play a full 60 fucking minutes. It will also be better for my own personal health if they do.

Dustin Penner is still cruising around in 6th gear, Hemsky is close behind him and the rest of the team, well, at least they didn't die from the flu. I'm pretty sure Mike Comrie is going to be back for this game finally which is a great thing, and I've been really impressed with Gilbert Brule so far this year. If those two guys, along with the likes of O'Sullivan, Gagner and Cogliano can get it going today this team will no doubt be on their way to Long Island with two more points in the bag. I just fucking pray they don't get a nice lead and then shit the bed again, because being Halloween I may just murder someones face. And no one wants that.

jeanshorts prediction: Oilers 3 - Bruins 1. BOOK IT!

IQWT

GOILERS!

So nurse your hangover in whichever way works for you, because there is some major partying to be done tonight gentlemen. Thank god we don't have a hockey game to get in the way of oogling scantily clad women, ingesting our weights worth of alcohol and stealing candy from small children. Hmm, maybe matinee games aren't so bad after all.

Happy Halloween you degenerates.

-jeanshorts

84 Say Your Piece:

  1. Wait... You're favorite player is a non-Oiler? You have brought shame to our family.
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  2. What the fuck man. It's so early. And there's no sound! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.

    Also, morning.
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  3. I like to think the only way I get away with liking Lucic is cause he plays in the East. That way we only have to see him once a year.
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  4. I gotta give JS some credit for throwing up this monumental pile of content just before he left the house for some serious boozing.

    God damn audio is down. Nice one you Sportsnet fucks. So its off to get the radio feed from CHED. I'll check back in when my head doesn't hurt so much and I can see straight. Happy Halloween you little bastards,
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  5. Aaaand the CHED feed is at least a minute behind the video feed.

    Even the Sportsnet guys are hung over.
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  6. This is so unsettling. How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy the game if i have to stare at the TV all morning?
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  7. Fuck sakes!!!!! Where's my god damn sound???????????
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  8. OH HAI BCB. Any sound for the game in here?
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  9. Sound here!!!

    http://www.justin.tv/broadway_ruuby
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  10. Thanks! Although it's the Boston feed. And it's like 15 seconds behind. This has to be some kind of Halloween curse!
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  11. I'm actually paying attention to the ads, I am so happy to hear sound.
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  12. Well, silver lining is that I haven't puked out of disgust due to the Oilers shitty play so far. Progress!
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  13. Awesome Sully. Could you play any softer along the boards?
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  14. Well they didn't leak a million scoring chances on their own net.
    Though they didn't generate too many on Boston. I'd call that period a wash.
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  15. I'm going to declare that period

    wait for it

    quiet
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  16. Ladies and gentlemen, the comedy stylings of Wayne Gretz.

    He'll be here all week. Be sure to check out our gift shop.
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  17. Well, you're no Principe, but in a dark time like this I'll take what I can get.
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  18. Fuck sakes I want to go back to my first post here and fix the "you're." I'm such a fucking retard.
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  19. You know, as bad as the Oilers collapse was on Thursday, it was not nearly as bed shittingly terrible as the Canucks implosion yesterday. AMAZING!
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  20. Gene was dressed up like a giant hot dog. *facepalm*

    We whine about trading players when the real goat is Gene fucking Principe.
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  21. If the sound is behind... Press pause on your PVR for fiteen seconds and let it catch up. Or are you guys all still living in the stone age?

    Yabba Dabba fucking-doo
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  22. The thing is the sound is so far behind it's non existent. Should I just pause my life Dakin? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO? When is it your turn to make some sacrifices instead????????
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  23. I could use a couple of baby sirloin burgers right about now.
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  24. Well unfortunately I am at work so not only is the sound non existant.... The visual leaves much to be desired as well.
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  25. Well you'll be happy to know the sound is finally back. But now the video looks like ass. HALLOWEEN CURSE!
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  26. How is it that O'Sullivan has such a rocket on the SO and yet such a muffin during the game?
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  27. Kid line is looking alot better.
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  28. I think it has something to do with the fact that his dad physically beat all the self esteem out of him at a young age.


    Ugh. Bad penalty.
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  29. If I had a son and I beat the shit out of him to the point of him making it to the NHL... I'd think I did a good job.
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  30. This video shittiness is like watching one of those games from the 70's. I almost expect Pat Quinn to come out and lay a big elbow.
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  31. CAN YOU IMAGINE! Teach this whipper snappers a thing or two.

    I'm digging this Penner/Chara battle, although I don't like the fact that Chara can actually out muscle Penner.
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  32. Where is Poo Czar? I need to bust a nut...
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  33. If I had to guess I'd say passed out in the middle of a reserve somewhere, sans pants.
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  34. Well that's where I left him on Thursday so...
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  35. Ugh I can't stop yawning. I may need to take a power nap immediately after this game. Either that or just start drinking again.
    As far as I know most Halloween parties wind down by about 8 o'clock right? So I won't miss much.
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  36. Ha ha! They showed the Quinn hit on Orr and the feed look almost exactly the same quality as it does in this game.

    Sportsnet FTL!
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  37. Isn't it FML?

    I was on the skytrain one day, and I was standing beside this group of high school chicks (no accident) and they kept saying stuff like "OHMYGOD that was totally an FML moment. I was totally like OHMYGOD FML!" And it made me want to punch my own ear just so I didn't have to listen to it anymore.
    Either way I'm pretty sure my butt grazed one of theirs, so, SCHWING!
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  38. Some shots on net from our guys would be nice.
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  39. FTL - For the Loss

    FML - Fuck My Life
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  40. JS- You know one way to get a girl to STFU if you will? Stick a cock in her mouth. Fucking gabbers.
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  41. Horcoff nullified at the blue line.

    Who saw that coming?®
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  42. How do you do the r in the circle thing... You fucking wizard.
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  43. Yeah, I know what it means. I just saw a great segway to tell my tale about rubbing up against high school girls.

    What the fuck is with all these slappers from 20 feet out? Fuck drive to the net 5'4" Gagner!
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  44. Travis - With a Mac its "option"-"R".

    Screw around with the option -"key" thing and you'll find a whole bunch of cool stuff.
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  45. Speaking of hot high school chicks, wasn't Travis at the WEM waterpark a couple of weeks ago?
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  46. I fucking LOVE my Mac. Too bad I'm running on Windows NT 4.0 at work...
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  47. I LOVE how Smid gets into the offensive play. Dude is the shit.
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  48. Yeah I was always a PC guy. Although I grew up using Mac's in school. But I was never sold on them. Then I bought this Imac like 2 years ago and I don't think I'll ever go back.

    I've had no problems with my Mac where as I've had millions of problems with PC's over the years.
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  49. Smid is playing like a monster lately. Like I said the swine flu somehow made him better.

    I guess it's the same kind of effect nut cancer had on Lance Armstrong and Phil Kessel.
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  50. David S- I seriously cannot believe the chicks now. Is there some secret? Are they ALL getting boob jobs now? Some of these chicks look like they have to be tied down or they will float away.
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  51. WHAT THE FUCK 4 OILERS STANDING AROUND STARING AT THE PUCK!!!!
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  52. THAT didn't look too good.
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  53. I'm starting to like Khabby's penchant for letting in pucks after the period. Gives the other team hope before it's immediately taken away.
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  54. Travis - Alberta grain-fed grade A prime. That's the only thing I can come up with. High school guys must have permanent boners in school these days.
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  55. As a boob man I love the fact that tits are naturally getting bigger and rounder.
    More chemical filled food!
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  56. Uhhh...nice road game so far BTW.

    Call me a kool-aid drinker, but when we ever get a full-strength team, it'll be carnage for the opposition.
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  57. Any time we're not down after 2 periods is a decent game by any standards. Especially on the road.
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  58. JS - Not only bigger, but FIRMER! Mmmmmmm...
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  59. hahahaha okay I can't lie, there is something funny about seeing Gene with his serious journalism face on while wearing a hot dog suit.

    SO MANY SHITTY PUNS!
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  60. A hotdog interviewing a "berger".

    Its so bad its good.
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  61. FUCK! FUCK!

    That's what happens when they have pressure for like 8 straight minutes
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  62. Well I'm already giving up on this one. I'm still not awake enough to get furious at this lackluster play.
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  63. Fucksakes! Hemsky is overpassing again. On top of which he has to work with JFJ, who's missing pretty much everything that comes to him.

    God dammit!
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  64. I guess the truth is, with Visnovsky, Souray and Staios out, we're basically fucked.
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  65. Yup. Although you have to like the fact we haven't lost 9 in a row since those guys fell to injuires. So that means when those guys finally come back this team is hopefully going to look real good.

    Is Comrie still out? That fucking little elf can't handle the flu I guess.
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  66. Nice play Hemsky. Make a 3 inch pass to the guy in double coverage. Awesome powerplay.
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  67. I miss Comrie. Hope that little fucker gets well soon.
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  68. I guess we've been pwned by the Bruins forever, so I suppose this game shouldn't be a surprise. Boston is double-teaming Penner and there's nobody else to pick up the slack. Plus, with Souray and Visnovsky out, our PP is for shit.

    At the end of the day, a split with Detroit/Boston isn't too bad.
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  69. Getting shutout 3 of the last 4 games is a pretty big fuck up though.
    At least Vancouver lost last night. I take complete solace in that.
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  70. I don't think we'll get shut out. But I be shocked as shit if we won this one.
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  71. How much time is left? 6 minutes or so? With the way this team has been playing there is no way they come back to tie it unless they get some kind of crazy spark.
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  72. WWWHHHOOOOOO! No more powerplay! WWWWEEEEEEOOOOOO!!!!!!!
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  73. Too many men. That's just brutal.

    I swear to god Quinn must be sponsored by Zantac.
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  74. You know you're fucked when Brule is out for the last minute of the game.
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  75. 13 years without a win in Boston. Maybe they should OHMYGOD EVANKA OSMAK!

    Finally a bright spot on this gloomy day.
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  76. Evanka playing tennis. Jesus fuck she's hot.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/lmak/sets/72157622074117088/
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  77. Oh man. Best find ever!

    Why do they stick her behind a desk? She needs to be standing at all times wearing more revealing clothing.
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  78. Souray on LTIR.

    Not sure this can get any worse, but it probably will.
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