I love it when my little man is this happy!Man what a horrible weekend. Back to back losses to Calgary and Vancouver? It literally couldn't have gotten any worse unless half the team died from the flu and Katz ended up signing Fabian Brunstrum to a 3 year, $35 million contract. Peckham as a forward? Stortini leading the powerplay? Nilsson getting ice time in general? Fuck this team was hard up over the weekend.
There's a few positive things to take out of the shitanusly lackluster effort on Saturday and mainly Sunday.
1. JDD has looked pretty stellar in both his starts this season. Mind you those games were against Nashville who is always shitty, and Vancouver who is a little more shitty than I thought they would be, but still. He looked comfortable, came up with some big saves and more importantly didn't let in any softies. Do the Oilers finally have a competent goaltending tandem? I must be dreaming!
2. Even though they were outplayed pretty badly neither game was a blowout. They even managed to score 2 goals against Calgary! Which isn't saying much because Kipper has to be the most overrated goalie in the league, but still. That game could have been 5-0. And it looked pretty obvious to me that if the Oilers were icing a team with more than 35% NHL regulars they would have easily beaten the Canucks. For how garbage they played it was a pretty close contest.
3. Dustin Penner didn't die from the flu. Thank god. Because he's pretty much the only reason we've been winning games lately other than the goaltending.
4. And Taylor Chorney has looked alright out there so far. He hasn't looked out of this world but he also hasn't fucked up terribly *cough GILBERT AND GREBESHKOV cough*. Seriously what the fuck is up with those two? I was really starting to warm up to Grebeshkov but both he and Gilbert have floundered when they got tossed in the deep end thanks to a slew of injuries to the Oilers defense. Those guys have to pick it up if the Oilers plan on winning while we all wait with bated breath for Big Sexy to return and change all our fortunes.
The good news for tonight's game is that Mike Comrie is finally drawing back in and Gilbert Brule is going to be that much more over the flu. Thank god. As someone pointed out over on Oilers Nation, did anyone ever imagine a time where we'd be pining to have the likes of Mike Comrie, Gilbert Brule and hell even Ryan Stone back in the line up? Unreal. Back to the fucking fourth line with you Moreau!
I'm not going to lie fellas, I'm a little worried about tonight's game. For some reason Colorado has spit in the face of the Gods Of Hockey and have been on a fucking tear. Although I take a tiny bit of solace in the fact that, much like the Oilers, they are being out shot pretty much every game and relying on rock solid goaltending to win them games. Seriously who the fuck is Craig Anderson and when the fuck did he become a competent NHL goaltender? For how shitty Florida is they are starting to have a great track record for producing amazing goaltending, for other teams that is. But I guess that's what happens when you face 50 shots a night.
I expect the Oilers to come out with a chip on their shoulder tonight, as I'm sure they took a mighty brow beating from Ol' Pat Quinn after and 0-2 road trip against divisional rivals. And fuck this may actually be a team the Oilers can out shoot!
jeanshorts prediction: Oilers 4 - Avs 2. BOOK IT!
IQWT
GOILERS!
-jeanshorts
Posts
192 Say Your Piece:
"Finally have a competent goalie tandem?" I would have called Roli/Garon "Competent"
*cough-RSB-cough*
Fuck you .
Who was that to Travis?
Just flu shot lines, Flames and Canucks fans, waiting for payday and chicks that say no.
Sorry, I should have said a "good" goalie tandem. I think I associate Garon/Roloson with those horrible dark times, before Pat Quinn. But you're right they were pretty decent. They just had absolutely no help in front of them.
You know... as each year passes and with the benefit of hindsight, FUCK we've had some shitty years. I mean fucking shitty- makes you wonder why we are fans- type of shitty years with a few sprinkles of awesomeness. I guess it's like playing golf. You go out and suck balls for eighteen holes but it is that ONE sweet shot that keeps you holding out hope and coming back for more.
For every 7 or 8 games against the Canucks where the team looks like they were bag skated until 5 minutes before the puck drop, there's one game where Dustin Penner and Hemsky get 5 points and lead the team to a comeback win. I think those are the reason we keep coming back for more.
Yeah.... that and Big Sexy.
Lest we forget the Greatest Team Ever Assembled that formed our childhoods. And that fucking beauty Cup run.
Shitty years, absolutely. But we've had it a damn sight better than most. Can you imagine being a fucking Canucks, Leafs or Flames fan? Sweet shit.
Oh, and the retro Unis are beauties.
I find it easier to imagine being a raging homsexual getting DP'd than I do being a Flames, Habs, Canucks, or Leafs fan. fuck.
I CALL DIBS ON DP'ING DAKIN!
...again
You and who? That could be the deal breaker.
And so it begins......
Well, he didn't call dibs, but js was the next one in so...
*shrugs, shoves hands in pockets, kicks at the ground and shuffles about awkwardly*
Alright everyone! Dicks on the table! lets do this!!!
Hey Dakin, we're the DP-ers, you're the DP-ee. We call the fucking shots.
The safe word shall be "Philanthropist"
Well I guarantee you'll both be getting a shot off... I can I at least call heads or tails?
Fuck I kill me. That works on so many different levels.
I prefer "Armageddon" as the safe word.
What about antidisestablishmentarianism?
Fuck why do I watch Caps games on TSN? I fucking hate this guy. "Foul" outside of the "cage". Fuck. This isn't basketball and or football. It's not a cage it's a fucking net.
BRING ON THE OILERS!
How about.... I don't need a fucking safe word. I'm a god damn pro bitches.
OH MY GOD GENE PRINCIPE!!!!!
Hello:
http://www.jeanshortsandbaggedmilk.com/2009/10/rustys-pre-game-party.html
haha fuck I can't get enough of that clip of Storts cranking Iginla and then just standing over him and staring through his face!
FFFUUUUCCCCCKKKKK! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! Great start.
What the fuck where are the old school colors?
seriously?
Weird Horcoff coughed the puck up and it led to a goal. Fuck.
I go to grab a brew and come back and we're down? Yikes.
It's one nothing already? I just had to piss what the fuck?
GET HIM STORTS! FUCK HIM UP!
Great another fucking injury. Just great.
Also great call by the refs. Fucking awesome start.
Rusty- Where the fuck have you been? You quit twitter or something?
Well, at least it's not 2-0 already. Progress!
Fucking glass is half full eh JS? Drink some more I say.
I've been so fucking busy it's not funny.
Sorry I was going to explain and then Gene went and dropped a pun about Comrie's mom passing? yikes.
How come Gene doesn't headline at the Comic Strip all the time?
I thought that was a little iffy even for me!
But yeah, I gotta get back on my internet grind. November is going to be on the road, so I'll be living out of hotel rooms and should have plenty of time to annoy the living shit out of each and every one of you.
Busy doing what? What the fuck do you do... besides all the ladies.
HOLY SHIT TOM GILBERT THREW A CLEAN, DECENT HIT!
what the fuck is going on out there boys? It looks like they're trying to skate up a 90 degree incline. Fuck sakes. GET A LITTLE JUMP YOU DIRTY FUCKERS!
who the fuck is Tom Gilbert?
Summer goes away and all of a sudden work turns into a shit-show. I gotta go back to Winnipeg for a couple weeks, and then Toronto a couple of times before the end of the year. The Toronto trips are all ballin' though because we're right downtown. Winnipeg = not so much ballin'
Rusty better be writing a huge diatribe about what he does.
Ignore me....
oh....
Wait, did Forsberg get an early one? He always kills us...
What a snoozer of a 1st period this has been. FUCK THE FLU!
Have we even gotten a shot on goal yet?
I'm pretty sure Rusty kills people. With his fucking bare hands.
See JS??? COPPER and blue sounds so much better than Orange and blue.
Poo Czar. I heard he kills bitches with his "third leg"
Yeah, he uses that to inject the HIV straight into 'em
KEVIN LOWE!
And it was Gretzky's first point in the NHL on the same play!
Ya! More fucking giveaways!
Fuck this is going to be a long night I can feel it.
@ Poo Czar
Are you sure? Are you... HIV Positive?
*rolls another one*
Anyone else still have problems with this here JSMB internet site? The sexy pics don't show up beside our sexy names.
Seriously why the fuck is Grebeshkov still on the ice? I'd rather have Strudwick ringing it around the boards all game. At least he's not passing it to the other team right in the fucking slot.
I'm HIV positive that I consider you highly likely to stab a grandmother in the stomach and then fuck the stab wound with your AIDS cock
haha. Aids cock.
Woah there Poo Czar... Youre a sick fuck.
Too far? I'll take it all back if necessary...
Sorry for being gross, fellas
THere is no place for that here.
The only good thing about when the Oilers play shitty like this is it's only a matter of time until the BCB completely falls apart and we start talking about that one time we gang banged a donkey at someone's dad's birthday.
No no... I think the sick part is that you know me far too well. *sharpens his AIDS cock*
SERIOUSLY THEY'RE LITERALLY STANDING AROUND! WHAT THE FUCK!
Quinn better fucking kill someone in the intermission.
BEST. BIRTHDAY PARTY. EVER.
BCB? I thought it was BSB?
Or you no longer lust for the Backstreet Boys?
FUCK YOU DOUG MACLEAN! I DONT NEED TO SEE YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW!
Although he is right about Horcoff, BUT FUCK YOU!!!!!!
You know what, I was a little out of it yesterday when I was writing that shit, and I may, just may have let my inner Backstreet fan slip out. Either that or I don't know how to spell.
He's got some white teeth.
what are you talking about?
I believe... In Jesus.
Hey Dakin have you checked out the new Atreyu album yet?
Or maybe I should start off with, Hey Dakin do you like Atreyu?
Hey guys! Just got back in from yet another road trip. Left my god damn power cord in the hotel - again (loser is me), so I'm already down to 78%. Fuckin Macbook Pro power hogs. Anways, so what's the sco...
Ah fuck.
JS - You could have easily used that bear nut-punch for this game. Just slap on a Oilers logo on the nut-punchee and it woulda been right on the money.
New as in not Lead Sails?
2nd period... oh shit. I don't remember the last time that was good news.
David. Turn down your keyboard light and Monitor backlight. it lasts the whole game that way.
Fucking sweet one sided reffing. Again, going to be a long night boys.
@Dakin
Yeah a new one game out today. I'm downloading it as we speak, because buying music is for suckers.
OH MY GOD HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT?????? I fucking live Atreyu. Thanks man. Getting it now!
I meant "love"
AAAHHH COME ON BOYS!
Fuck Horcoff is garbage.
So according to his blog Gilbert just bought a new house in Edmonton. Perfect time to trade him!
Not too worried. After all, ~Horcoff is only a $5.5 cap hit.~
That's what they say, right?
*Thx for the reminder Travis*
Holy shit was that a scoring chance????
Love your site...come here all the time. You guys are sick.
"come here all time time"
Could have fooled me.........................
JS, you should read a few more of those blog entries. Gilbert put in SEVEN FUCKING TV'S in his basement.
If I were him, I woulda used that cash on a Club Fit membership to put a few pounds of muscle on.
ooooo..ouch. That cut me deep.
I meant to say, long time reader...first time poster.
What the fuck is a "towel boy?"
Wow.. I just read Tom Gilbert's blog too.
" I went with my girlfriend and she dressed up as a cowgirl, so I did too. I wore chaps and booty shorts and a pink flannel shirt with a pink hat. It was pretty brave of me but I’ll admit that I did look pretty good for a girl"
Trade please.
I like the way Brule drove the net there. Fucking ballsy. That's what's lacking tonight: Balls.
TB- with a post like that, your sig name should have linked to "patio furniture for cheap".
@ David S
The sad thing is once I read he was making a sick ass man cave, I really wanted the Oilers video guys to go do a thing on it.
Needless to say I'll be checking back with his blog frequently.
Balls and Sheldon Souray.
@Dakin
the dude that wipes down the massage tables after the happy endings.
COME THE FUCK ON BOYS! PUT THE FUCKING PUCK IN!!!!
OH yeah... there's a hockey game going on.
Towel Boy... could you please get ahold of Dustin Penner and give him the word.
@ JS
I think that Gilbert "cribs" video is still in the cards.
Boys are holdin' their sticks a bit tight tonight.
Jesus christ Sully. I love the shooting frequency but you can't force that shit so hard.
SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!
I hate it when O'Sullivan shoots on the PP. Its like a missed opportunity every fucking time.
BORING!!!!
It's such a dichotomy. We get frustrated when all they fucking do it pass the puck along the boards on the PP and never shoot. Now Sully is shooting as soon as the puck touches his stick and we're getting frustrated with that. He just needs to pick his spots better and, I don't know, maybe put his head up once and a while, rather than just blindly shooting.
This Fucking Album made me cum 10 seconds in!!!! FUCkING HELL YEAH!!!!!
Aaaaand the play dies on Moreau's stick yet once again.
Still, 1-0 shouldn't be insurmountable.
Right?
@Rusty: Yah..I've got Penner on the phone. He promises me he'll pot one tonight. That should get the ball rolling.
So my grade 8 math and gym teacher just got charged with sexual assault!
Just in case anyone was wondering.
What? No Evanka again????
Fuck! ANOTHER blocked Visnovsky shot.
@js - I heard that on the news and had a funny feeling that you and/or baggedmilk were somehow involved.
Who the fuck is that cock sucker behind the bench in a Habs jersey? They should kick him the fuck out.
Unless it's a Souray jersey. Then they should shower him with praise.
Is it really your old teacher?
Yeah, he taught both BM and I. That's our old Jr High.
He was always kind of a creep so I'm not really surprised, but it's still kind of fucked.
How long until we get to read your tell all? Are you going Sheldon Kennedy style or holding out for the Theo Fleury feel good story.
@JS...that is fucked up.
G.H. Primeau Middle School... You lived in Morinville? My Grandmother was born there. Cousin?
Well thankfully all he did was grind up against me on a daily basis.
Like I said I'm not surprised. He always had like a mini chub poking in his track pants, and used to talk a little too much about how we should wear jock straps in gym.
@ Dakin
OH MY GOD I FOUND YOU!
No, luckily for me my parents are both from the East. So I have no blood ties to Morinville other than my parents.
That chick in the shitty hat is way too hot to be with Four Eyes McGee.
Were the victims guys? Fuck man....
I have no idea. The news article is a little sparse since it is dealing with kids.
He coaches girls basketball though. So.
Yeah they aren't even saying his name. How do you know which teacher it is?
In the CTV article is says his name. And Morinville is a small ass town. Word spreads faster than the flu through the Oilers.
Yeah I guess... Fucking creeps.
Why weren't there any hot women teachers that wanted me to bone them?
No shit. There's still a few teachers I'd love to run into at the bar or something and roofie the fuck out of.
Sweet so there's no rules for Colorado tonight.
Awesome.
I thought Mick McGeough retired?
What's with the fucking refs tonight? They have swine flu?
That puck went in the net..... holy fuck
Fuck the Toronto boys caught it. shit.
It's all good.
I like that Louie still can't figure it out. Best color guy in the game!
Fuck sakes man if this counts I'm going to shit all over the living room.
This game is gay.
phew...no goal.
PPPHHHEEEWWWWWW!
Thank god.
Nice shot Moreau. Definitely try and rip a slapper when you are covered by two guys.
@js...i just mumbled the same thing...why the fuck was he gonna slap it? 15 more Goat Points.
WTF is with this team and no-look everything. No look passing, no look shooting, no look defence. Moreau is a bag of garbage.
Is anyone else enjoying the nerd fight about Horcoff over at ON as much as I am?
God...ON today was like HF Boards...trade proposals and arm chair GMing like fucking crazy. And it's all from like 3 or 4 people..much like HF Boards.
I mean, I'm as frusturated with Horcoff as anyone, but I don't think he should be starting center for the Falcons just cause Kevin Lowe gave him a fucking tremendous gift.
Jesus christ that was a fucking nice goal.
FUCK YOU OILERS! FUCK YOU!
FuCKING fucker fucking fuck fuck CUNT
Are you serious? wow this team looks so fucking flat.
Fuck. Fuck Forsberg guy too.
I just sent Penner a text:
"Hai Penz. Ur playin teh crapz 2nite. Pick it up and pot sum G's fuckr lolz rofl!11!"
I'd be lying if I wasn't thinking "man I wonder when the wheels are going to fall off" a few days after the Columbus game. They may not be off yet, but god damn they're starting to get real fucking loose.
18 - 30 are the SOG's. Lame.
Yeah. When the big rush comes, Chorney is the guy you want back there.
Oh god. We've got ZERO energy.
At least it looks like Comrie has got some juice left.
Pat Quinn will consume copious amounts of scotch tonight.
Looking for a "last effort"?
How about a first effort.
So, where did this Craig Anderson fool come from? I hadn't even heard of him until last season when the Oil played the Panthers. ...that game he stood on his head I believe... I remember it was around the time the Florida regular goalie (vokoun?) was shitting the bed and they gave Anderson a shot and he kicked ass. But seriously...WTF. And what's with Florida finding these goaltending gems?
Like I said in the preamble, it probably helps development a lot when you're facing like 50 shots a game in Florida, and then you go to a team that plays actual defense and offense.
HAHAHAHA.
So I just go onto facebook, and look at pictures, and guess what one of my good friends just uploaded?
ENGAGEMENT PICTURES!!!!!!!
Fuck those two are going to get an earful from me.
Yeah, facing truckloads of pucks would probably hone your skills. There'd be no pressure down there either, cuz really nobody expects you to win.
@ TB
There's three or four guys at ON who I swear are shut ins. I mean, they're postin'non stop all friggin' day - every day.
#firethemall
Boy, that NW Division sure has at least 3 good teams, eh fellows?
FUCKFUCKFUCK
Engagement pictures? I thought you were shitting us. Nobody could be that lame. Could they?
Fucking pussies.
Fuck the Canucks are going to win tonight aren't they? And pass us in the fucking standings?
Is it too early to start the dive for Hall?
two hits from behind tonight?...no calls? not even boarding? fuck me.
OK man. Can we please end this Chorney thing?
So boarding is legal now? Sweet.
Another fucking concussion?!?
Got fucking inlaws staying here, missed most of the game, but catching up on the posts I see I didn't miss much. Other than JSBM getting molested by a jr high teacher.
WHO SAW THAT COMING?!?!?!?!?!
*here's yer fuckin' quarter TB*
Ha ha! The boos are starting.
What the fuck man pretty soon we're going to be calling up dudes from the ECHL to fill out the defense.
~I read on ON that Plante is gonna be an NHL all-star this year~
That's an automatic goal right there.
Thanks Poo Czar...more money for my beer fund. I'm gonna need lots of it this seaason watching this team I think.
Anyone remember last week when the Oil were awesome? That was rad.
WTF??? "Foul from behind"????
That Wolski is a speedy fuck. Actually...most of the Avalanche seem speedy compared to our crew tonight.
I like how they hires NBA refs to work the game.
Cunty wang fuck
Well I guess the good thing is that Quinn's going to have a shitload of video to review with the boys.
Ahhh...I got nuttin'
3 goals in 1:10...here it comes.
Yeeeesh.
I still trust in Quinn.
I mean, I guess we can take solace in the fact that we lost to the best team in the West.
And the fact that we've been shutout two games in a row.
And the fact that I hate my life right now.
*loads shotgun*
Shutout twice in a row. That's special.
~A laser from Gilbert to finish out the game!~
I dragged my ass through this fucking day hungover and balls tired from smashing into kids at Flogging Molly last night, looking forward to this fucking game, sure that after losing B2B games to the Evil Fucks to the South and West that this'd be a sweet redemption game pick-me-up.
Thanks Oilers for the Righteous Sack Beating to us fans!
Craig Anderson is in my Fantasy hockey pool, yet this offers not a bit of solace.
And now, more Gene to salve the hurt...
Man I'd give Martine Guiallard a shot or two to the tits.
What's with her fucking clown shirts lately though? Sportsnet needs to hire a stylist for the chicks.
Sad to say, I think Martine is chubbing up. Bitch gotta get on a stairmaster.
So, Detroit is up next?
That's going to go well.
@JS
Bet you a beer Martine is pregnant. That's when chick go to town with the clown outfits.
*chicks*
Alternate theory - isn't semen high in calories???
I like both theories.
Ones shes taking it in the clam without a rubber.
The other she's eating tons of sperm.
FUCK YOU OILERS!
She's probably pregnant with Rusty's kid.
Whoa Rusty made eye contact with Martine Guillard?
Not eye contact - AIDS COCK CONTACT
I was on a plane with her once. McCormick was there too, but who cares about him. Martine was looking very fine. Not sure why she was in Edmonton, but there ya go.
And we all know Rusty's sperm is practically made out of bacon gravy, so I think we've solved the case.
Martine - guilty of rampant sperm chuggery!!!
It tastes like bacon too!
Or, uhh, so I've heard.....
Andre Agassi used crystal meth? That's amazing!
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