Friday, September 25, 2009

If You Want It Done Right, You Gotta Do It Yourself



Holy fucking busy week. I've been working my fingers to the bone, only to return to my beloved JSBM and find... a shockingly well written piece by jeanshorts. Very nice. That was Monday. Today is Friday.

Rusty is drunk.



Rusty's Birthday Wrap-up

For having no build up, this birthday was beyond fucked up. Not only did one of my buddy's spend over $1500 on getting us drunk, countless others pitched their precious dollars and a crew of at least 20 drunken lads tore this town to shit. You know a night is going just right when leaving the club you get the urge to drop all the bouncers you can see. I'm not sure why my buddy started swinging at everything, but he did. The best part is whenever I'm around the bouncers just let me keep things under control. Every fucking time. Some dude from Toronto apparently started some shit with buddy when he walked out the bar. I assumed he was just going at the bouncers, but this little shit from the dot was yapping his mouth about whatever fucking block his boys are from a good 4+ hour plane ride away. The best part was the same little shit walking the fuck away thanking me for saving his life. Rusty's advice? Don't fucking come to Alberta and start talking your center of the universe bullshit. Fuck the Leafs.



It's hockey season!!! I dunno what the hell else you could need to rile you up this time of year. For me, it's clear the Oilers are lacking. Should I be worried? Fuck no. Tambo is no fool, and I'm sure he knows better than anyone this team can't win a draw to save their life, their too weak on the puck, giveaways galore, and on and on. Tambo will fix us good, and the Oilers will make the playoffs. There is zero pressure on this team. The moves might not come right away, nor should they. It is only a matter of time before beds are crapped any bodies are shipped and we construct the dream team that will be prestigiously known as the first Oilers squad to run for the cup since, well, yeah... you know.

Our boy P Quinn has turned things upside down in the room... What a refreshing feeling. The vets look weak, and the people that should show up, have shown up. Bye bye Rob Schremp. Kip Brennan, you sexy you... farewell. Chorney... well, you are better than I thought. Ryan Stone, g'bye. Pouliott... k

The final cuts will be made and this roster will head into another year of reasons to drink yourself into another galaxy.

There are a few constants in this world:

- JSBM loves Jordan Eberle (even more next year, on the mighty Oilers)

- Pat Quinn

- Hot girls at Oilers games

- Lewd Misconduct

- JSBM will be back with a vengeance this season. Get your drinking shoes polished up.

DROP THE PUCK FOR FUCK SAKES!!!

I will leave you with this:



Regards,

Rusty
Hatched by Rusty Shackleford at 9:57 PM
Labels: ,

14 Say Your Piece:

  1. Rusty saves it!

    And here I was thinking "Where's NSF...??? Aw fuck it."

    Oh yeah. I bet Robert drilled that chick hard.
    ReplyDelete
  2. *crickets*

    Must be some bad ass boozin' going on this weekend.
    ReplyDelete
  3. I literally haven't stopped drinking since Wednesday.
    Tomorrow we are planning on doing nothing but watching football and playing NHL 10, since my sexbox is finally fixed. So maybe I'll write something.
    Or else I'll just get stoned off all this BC bud I bought and forget about the internet entirely.
    Either way, sleep well knowing I'm still alive.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, and I also totally saw the Dali Lama today, or, at least his cronies. In their red toga's with yellow sash thingies.
    I'm pretty sure I saw him mouth "IQWT", but it could have easily been "fuck you jeanshorts". I'll probably never know.
    ReplyDelete
  5. The Dali Lama? Fuck that must be some good weed.
    ReplyDelete
  6. http://abovethelaw.com/2009/09/bestiality_judge_james_morley.php
    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey! Fuckers! Aren't there like 5 potential "Authors" up in this place? The preseason is over! Where's my goddamn content?!?! Are we not building towards the triumphant return of the Bonsignore Citizens Brigade????

    SHOW ME SOME FUCKING HEAT IN HERE!!!

    /end rant

    Sigh... I wish I'd invented "Let's DoooOOoOoo this" so's I could inspire what masses are left here.
    ReplyDelete
  8. Baggedmilk is MIA and Jeanshorts is drinkin' his face off (the tweets up above to the right give some idea of the debacle).

    Rusty seems like he's trying, god bless his drunk soul, but sounds like he has a real job. And Dakin? Dude's a wild card at the best of times.

    God damn Baggedmilk is all I have to say.
    ReplyDelete
  9. Lest we forget the Towel Boy ...lest we forget.

    And agred - FUCK YOU MILKBAG!!!

    *breaks down sobbing in office whilst furiously masturbating*
    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm working on something. Soon.... Soon....
    ReplyDelete
  11. Yeah. Towelboy. Tha Sam Gagner of JSBM.

    So what's the deal? This place had potential. Hate to see it go tits up.
    ReplyDelete
  12. Well, Bagged Milk is on the heroin, js has that boy in his closet, Rusty is in rehab, do you want to know more?
    ReplyDelete
  13. I submitted an article to JS but apparently he died. I don't know how to upload them so it's in his hands.
    ReplyDelete
  14. Successful bloggers should take steps to make these kinda contests more common so that visitors get attracted.
    ReplyDelete

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