Friday, March 27, 2009

The Bonsignore Citizens Brigade: Oilers @ Ducks

Remember this? Do you remember when signs like the one above were being seen all over the Sun and the Journal, and everyone pretended like they were the first to dream it up? I do. I remember the feeling from inside Rexall during the playoffs, I remember the vibe in the city during the playoff run, and I remember burning the mother fucker down on Whyte Ave after each game. It was beautiful wasn't it.

Well it sure as fuck won't happen again if you assholes play like you did last night against the Coyotes. That was despicable, unbelievable, unfathomable and damn near unforgivable. The Oilers have spent the past few weeks pissing away opportunities to create some space for themselves by losing to terrible fucking hockey teams. Lose to Detroit? Ok, I can give you a pass on Detroit, but to Phoenix? Are you serious?

Something had better change if the Oilers want to make the big dance. Unfortunately, tonight they're playing the Ducks, and they've been on a roll lately. Not to mention these flightless faggots have jumped ahead of our beloved, copper and blue, in the standings. It's a sad state of affairs in the nation these days, and something has got to change in order to make it happen.

I know what the problem is fortunately, and luckily your old pal baggedmilk has the solution. Craig Mactavish just hasn't had enough time to coach this squadron into fighting shape yet. I can guarantee that at some point between now and the next 9 years we will win the division. So help me God we will do it. If I have to saddle up the JSBM panel van and abduct JonBenet Ramsey's pixie bones I will get this team back into the playoffs. All we need is more time.

Right? Right???? Ugh.

-baggedmilk

219 Say Your Piece:

  1. I'm in first and starting a new streak.

    I live a sad life.
    ReplyDelete
  2. Poor Xavier the dog whisperer.
    ReplyDelete
  3. Reading that sign brings back so many fond memories. sigh
    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahah I wasn't around last night but the bitch from that feminist website keeps deleting all my comments.

    Here's the website.

    http://kittywampus.blogspot.com/

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  5. Well here we go boys.
    ReplyDelete
  6. Good evening gentleman.
    ReplyDelete
  7. Roli again. Fuck me. Get the oxygen tanks.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  8. WWWHOOOO FUCKITY WHOOO. DONAIRS FOR EVERYBODY!!!!

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  9. Big Pen against his old team.
    ReplyDelete
  10. I like those line combos.
    ReplyDelete
  11. FUCKEN EH. What the hell is going on here?

    Bring on the Pisani formula Gatorade.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  12. OH FUCK WHAT A SNIPE! FEEEERRRNNNNAAANNNDDDOOOO PPPIIIISSSSAAANNNIIII!

    Fucking beauty start boys. MacT must have everyones family held at gunpoint.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  13. What a shot by Pisani.
    ReplyDelete
  14. Was that 2 goals on 2 shots? Beauty numbers by Giguere tonight.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow. Pulling Giguerre already.
    ReplyDelete
  16. And now a tilt. Fuck me this is a game.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  17. Atta boy JFJ. Fuck. WHy can't every game be like this?????? They better not fucking blow this shit and take their foot off the gas otherwise I'm going to go blow up Rexall.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  18. He's got some balls on him to fight Parros.
    ReplyDelete
  19. I just watched a video today of Parros doing some kind of hair cutting for cancer charity gig. Guy is a beauty. And don't get me started on that stache.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  20. fuck these boys sure can tease some cock
    ReplyDelete
  21. How many former Oilers are on the Ducks? They've been the butthole rapers all year.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  22. Yeah watch for Marchant and Pronger to each get something.
    ReplyDelete
  23. I wish Pisani would shoot more because that was right in the roof.
    ReplyDelete
  24. That fucking wop has got a hell of a wrist shot, but for some reason he either doesn't, or doesn't get a chance to unleash it as often as he should. But when he shoots, he shoots the god damn lights out.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  25. I am not going to lie. I have not made myself Popcorn in a long fucking time. I am quite enjoying myself.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  26. MacTavish should be fucking embarrassed for how his team played last night.
    ReplyDelete
  27. Well. Fuck.

    Just got assraped in our own end.
    God damn you Anaheim for having the best goal song in the entire league.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  28. Didn't we have a chance to draft Getzlaf? Was that the Pouliot year or was that Corey Perry?
    ReplyDelete
  29. the over looks like a lock
    ReplyDelete
  30. So American Bad Ass from 2000 isn't a good choice?
    ReplyDelete
  31. @ Corey

    It was both. Fucking both of them.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  32. dont even get me started on who we had a chance to draft and didnt. shane doan still fuckin hurts....hey steve kelly...fuck u
    ReplyDelete
  33. I have a feeling this one is going to get rough tonight.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  34. LOL Sorry fellas. Hate to toss salt in the wounds.
    ReplyDelete
  35. But we've got POULIOT! Am I right? Anyone?

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  36. It's okay. Parise having the best season of his career hurts enough.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  37. You got that feeling do ya bagged? LOL
    ReplyDelete
  38. Fuck do I hate Pronger and his gap toothed face. Fuck him.

    *sob*
    ReplyDelete
  39. I'm not sure 1000 penalty minutes is much of a milestone.
    ReplyDelete
  40. I still like CFP. I liked him long before he was an Oiler.
    The day the Oilers got him was one of the best days of my life. I was so insanely excited.
    And then the day he ripped out all of our hearts I wept for weeks.
    So, yeah, you know what, Fuck him. And his wandering cock and balls. And his stupid cunt wife.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  41. Smid! Punch through the ref cock sucker!!
    ReplyDelete
  42. He might need to lose the visor though if he's going to be scrapping all the time.
    ReplyDelete
  43. Pronger needed to keep his bitch in her place.
    ReplyDelete
  44. I wish the dad in this MacDonald's commercial would straight up say, "yeah. almost daily"

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  45. @ Xavier

    Nah if he just loses the bucket he can scrap all he wants.
    ReplyDelete
  46. God fuck do I hate Staios. That asshole is a piece of shit.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  47. It's amazing how Niedermeyer is still so good even though he's old balls.
    ReplyDelete
  48. kinda like a guy on our team?
    ReplyDelete
  49. Debrusk is no Ferraro. I used to think he was okay but now I agree with you guys.
    ReplyDelete
  50. Fuck DeBrusk has been terrible since the beginning. He's worse than Harry Neal for having absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on. Even when he's watching hte replay on a monitor.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  51. Anon,

    Without Roli we'd be fucking sunk.
    ReplyDelete
  52. Stortini has been getting into some good tilts lately.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  53. Here we go Geico!
    Solid tilt. Good to see Storts still tossing him.
    God I love Parros. Such a gamer.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  54. Stortini is my dude.
    ReplyDelete
  55. Decent fight right there.
    ReplyDelete
  56. @ JS

    I don't know why, but I didn't mind him at first. Then I was watching some games on TSN and Ferraro is so so much better.
    ReplyDelete
  57. Who wants to toss some cash down that Burke snatches sweet Parros in the summer. He's UFA this year.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  58. Nevermind. I've been told he's resigned.

    Fuck you jeanshorts.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  59. Teemu tryin talk shit?? Fuckin cunt
    ReplyDelete
  60. I don't think I've ever seen two people insult each other more than you two do.
    ReplyDelete
  61. Jesus god damn christ Staios
    ReplyDelete
  62. Please Tambo please get rid of that fucking idiot this summer.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  63. You should see what we say to each other in person. George Carlin would think we're assholes.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  64. @ bagged

    LOL I was just waiting for you to say something.
    ReplyDelete
  65. @ Anon

    Yeah Teemu talking trash is a bunch of shit. That fucking Finn can't do shit.
    ReplyDelete
  66. @ JS

    If George Carlin would think you're assholes then you both need to get your head right. LOL
    ReplyDelete
  67. George Carlin bless his vulgar soul.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  68. @ Corey

    Well fuck come on. How many times a game does he look like he's never played hockey a day in his fucking life? Not to mention he makes $3 million a year. It's shit.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  69. What the fuck is with the feed tonight? Is there a hurricane blowing through Anaheim? Or are the Mexicans rioting?

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  70. Does anyone know if Kyle Wellwood is still in the league? Or did he fuck off already to get a good start on his off season eating?

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  71. He scored the other night didn't he?
    ReplyDelete
  72. if i didnt see the commercial i wouldnt know what the fuck a "J" stroke is...and i am canadian
    ReplyDelete
  73. Me either. I've been in a canoe tons of times, but all I've ever known it as is fucking paddling.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  74. I can't stand Mike Brophy. At least it's not Kypreos.
    ReplyDelete
  75. I think a "J" stroke is my personal masturbatory finishing move.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  76. Hey, remember when Kyperos almost died of a heart attack because he was so angry at Ovechkins 50th goal celebration? I really wish he would have finished the job.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  77. Ahhhh I HATE Kypreos. Hey JSBM remember when you did Righteous Sack Beatings on Oilers Nation. Then after shit went down your site got a lot more popular? LOL
    ReplyDelete
  78. Personally I think Ovechkin makes himself look like an asshole with some of his celebrations. I mean he leaps into the glass even if they're winning by five goals.
    ReplyDelete
  79. His big celebration that everyone got so up in arms about was really shitty too. You couldn't even tell what the fuck he was doing.

    But yeah I think it's pretty ridiculous when he acts like he won the cup when he makes it a 2 goal game in December.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  80. OV is fuckin amazing...i love that he gives a fuck...its nice to see some passion out there...imo
    ReplyDelete
  81. Our site isn't more popular than the Nation dude. Far from it.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  82. But yes, I agree I do like that he's always amped to be out there. He just looks like an asshole when he does it at inopportune times.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  83. No retard he meant that our site got more popular when we forced them to come here to read our ramblings rather then being able to get it at ON.
    Jesus, sometimes I wish your dad had just finished off in a tube sock.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  84. Don't get me wrong, the guy is what the game needs. He's a fantastic hockey player but when you're up by a bunch of goals and you score another one in the 2nd period you don't need to leap into the crowd.
    ReplyDelete
  85. bagged,

    I never said it was more popular than ON. Pay attention here boy.
    ReplyDelete
  86. Hey you know what, I'm only paying half attention here. I've got some Tragically Hip rocking over here, I'm eating an apple and texting a slut from work.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  87. agreed...you boys have valid points...but hes russian...u have to expect less from him in regards to being smart
    ReplyDelete
  88. I'm going to the Hip at the Windspear.
    ReplyDelete
  89. The lead was nice while we had it.
    ReplyDelete
  90. I'm going to the Hip in Vancouver. I'm so jacked.

    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  91. thats no goal
    ReplyDelete
  92. I like the people that stand up and cheer when the puck goes nowhere near the net. I wish I was that drunk right now.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  93. I don't think he fucking touched that shit with his stick.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  94. Fucking balls, and the hot start gets wiped out.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  95. holy fuck...they didnt know the tender went back in?
    ReplyDelete
  96. 4 shots in the first period eh? Good fucking work.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  97. Well let's get out there and kill 2 minutes off with our PP.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  98. Well, it's hard to pay attention to the game when there's so many shiney lights and an endless supply of popcorn up in the pressbox.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  99. why cant rod to tv...fuck u ched
    ReplyDelete
  100. I remember when this game wasn't looking like shit.
    ReplyDelete
  101. We have the powerplay right? Yeesh
    ReplyDelete
  102. Nobody moves on the fucking PP. GAWD
    ReplyDelete
  103. I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!!!!

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  104. Penner with his second of the game.
    ReplyDelete
  105. Love me some Penner! This game is fucked, not sure how we got the lead
    ReplyDelete
  106. Wow. Great fucking replay Sportsnet. That really cleared things up for me.

    WHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!


    -js
    ReplyDelete
  107. i am getting hard again
    ReplyDelete
  108. What the fuck is going on?
    ReplyDelete
  109. What the fuck just happened?? Blind luck mother fucker!!
    ReplyDelete
  110. Look at Jacques running Pahlssons shit behind the net. Fucking good to see.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  111. Hahahahahah Jiggy gets pulled twice in the same fucking game.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  112. They pulling him for real this time? God I hope not
    ReplyDelete
  113. we wont know if he goes back in though
    ReplyDelete
  114. This is the strangest game I've ever seen.
    ReplyDelete
  115. This has been fucking wild. Holy shit.
    ReplyDelete
  116. Penner is going to turn the fuckin trick tonight.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  117. Maybe that might get him off the 4th line.
    ReplyDelete
  118. If he's going to keep playing like this I say fucking keep him on the fourth line.
    And how about Broadziak? He's been playing like an animal lately.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  119. Penalties are getting thrown around like female Chinese babies out there.
    ReplyDelete
  120. @ Corey

    What? You mean drowned in a river somewhere?

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  121. "What? You mean drowned in a river somewhere?"


    HAHHAHAHAHHAHA
    ReplyDelete
  122. 2 minutes for stepping on a stick.
    ReplyDelete
  123. Infanticide comments=hilarious
    ReplyDelete
  124. She's getting ugly out there.
    ReplyDelete
  125. DONNYBROOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I FUKING LOVE IT!!!!!!! GOALIE FIGHT!! COME ON!! GOALIE FIGHT!!

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  126. I hope someone gets fucked up for this shit
    ReplyDelete
  127. God I could use a blood bath
    ReplyDelete
  128. Teemu needs to shut his god damn pussy mouth
    ReplyDelete
  129. I wish big Mac was out there to give the old Saskatchewan face lift to someone.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  130. I still can't get over the fact Teemu has been rocking the same Jofa since 1992.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  131. Is that like a Cleveland Steamer?
    ReplyDelete
  132. Anyone else miss playing in chippy games like this? Fuck I miss competative hockey.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  133. I always think MacIntyre is going to club someone with his stick.
    ReplyDelete
  134. I hate that fucking penalty.
    ReplyDelete
  135. Fuck! This game is god damn balls
    ReplyDelete
  136. I'm pretty much running through the gambit of emotions here. I feel like a pregnant women.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  137. So I cut my finger and it bled in my bagel but I ate it anyway.

    Point of the story is that I didn't use a bandaid or anything and watching a cut heal is cool. Just sayin.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  138. You think of some random shit man. I won't lie.
    ReplyDelete
  139. Still talking about that got damn cut on your finger are you? Get over it.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  140. Sportsnet has to be the worst run television station in Canada.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  141. I really wish TSN wasn't so pro Leafs and did more Oilers games.
    ReplyDelete
  142. Yeah no shit. I am glad though they made that big deal and got a ton more Canadian team games. So we don't have to rely purely on this bullshit for every game except HNIC's and PPV's.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  143. fuck would I laugh if perry (the chicken shit little skid) would go with the chug
    ReplyDelete
  144. Man do I like O'Sullivan. He's a beauty.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  145. Corey Perry looks like he should be in the terminally ill children's ward at the hospital.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  146. If Perry went with the chug he would have his pretty little face rearranged.
    ReplyDelete
  147. Penner is finally playing.
    ReplyDelete
  148. I can't believe it's still only the second period.

    The refs should get a penalty for delay of game!
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!

    *gets slapped in the face by everyone in the room*

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  149. By the time this game is over I'm going to have to work on Monday.
    ReplyDelete
  150. I love the Penner who shows up to play. When he's bangin he's stout
    ReplyDelete
  151. Why the fuck was Stortini on the power play?

    Whoa I just watched this Parros story today on nhl.com.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  152. I dig Penner man. I think he's not being used properly and honestly everyone is way too hard on him. It's not like anyone else is really lighting it up this year either.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  153. Ok. Wad or fold man?
    ReplyDelete
  154. I'm a wad man. But I've learned how to do it with as little paper as possible because I was running through that shit like the trees it was made out of killed my family.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  155. I don't think we've covered shitting before have we? LOLOL
    ReplyDelete
  156. Sweet Fuck that was huge. I wad. I don't have the patience for folding.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  157. Folding gives a better clean.
    ReplyDelete
  158. haha the other day at work I was talking about how every once and a while I'll wind up with a super itchy asshole because I'll think I've gotten everything cleaned up down there but something finds its way out after and mucks up my clean butthole. And my buddy was like hey man you should try baby wipes on that shit. They're like miracle pads.
    And I was like, I JUST HAD THIS DISCUSSION THE OTHER DAY!!!

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  159. cmon old balls....... keep em out!!!!
    ReplyDelete
  160. Giguerre had a sweet fucking save percentage in this one.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  161. @bm

    indeed... kipperesque
    ReplyDelete
  162. FUCK. BULLSHIT.

    What is with the starts of these periods?

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  163. Fuck. Look at the patience on Perry for that one.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  164. fucking white pilons!
    ReplyDelete
  165. That was sweet. 2 d-men on the same side. It's okay, it's not like Corey Perry can do much with open ice 2 feet in front of the net.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  166. Jesus christ these refs are horrible.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  167. Fucken eh Roloson.
    ReplyDelete
  168. UUUUGE glove save.
    Rolli the geriatric cat out there.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  169. I cant handle the stress...

    more alcohol

    ATTA BOY OLD BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    ReplyDelete
  170. What's a Teemu anyway?
    ReplyDelete
  171. I would like the Oilers to outshoot the other team once. Please. Thank you.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  172. More penalties. That's how to keep a lead.

    -bm
    ReplyDelete
  173. FUCK! what the fuck are they doing out there.
    ReplyDelete
  174. Anaheim is just running the train on us out there. This is bullshit.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  175. I'm going to bite a hole clear through my lip with this one.
    ReplyDelete
  176. this is a katz plot for ulcer meds.... they simply cannot be that fucking stupid
    ReplyDelete
  177. How long is JFJ's stick? 14 feet? Jesus.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  178. nicely done chug!!
    ReplyDelete
  179. Selene got more shots on the power play than the Oilers have had all game.

    -js
    ReplyDelete
  180. That is a deadly powerplay unit right there.
    ReplyDelete
  181. Ho. Lee. Fuck.

    Seriously are they pumping Rolli full of B-12 and adrenaline during commercial breaks or what?

    -js
    ReplyDelete

Tell us what you think