Ass Gasket or Just Risk It?

A rumble, a slight turn, gurgle... Uh oh. You've had the feeling. You're sitting at your desk, in your car, shopping at the mall, etc. When you get the sharp kick to the gut that lets you know only one thing. Either you're breaking speed records to get to the bathroom or your going to have to think of a way to discard your underwear. No we're not going to talk about the frequency or consistency of the butt mud you're about to unleash or even the punishment in store for the cleaning lady.

I'm talking about the ass gasket paper seat cover. In an emergency are you using it? Or do you simply take your chances with that barbers collection of pubes sitting there on the seat? Maybe a quick blow to get them off there and then its time for business. Is covering up the remnants of liquid love that crusts the seat really worth the 30 seconds of poo poo dance that may in fact cause your pants to be filled with lasts nights alphaghetti? Ladies and gentleman the answer is no.

I say get back to your roots. Unleash your inner cave man and unload what ails you with pride. In the hunter gatherer sense of the function, emergency shitting has no time for the dainty. No time for the weak and the timid. In short I say to risk it. Forget that thin paper sheet that protects your precious pooper and contribute to the mess left by your forefarters. The last thing you want in this situation is to stain the back of your sketchers because you were too busy fiddling with anal gift wrapping. We're all animals, and you know what? Bears still shit in the woods.

-baggedmilk